I have been given a life sentence.
For the rest of my time here on earth, my life will have a big hole in it. This hole has been getting larger as each year passes since my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on Mary 18, 2016. He is missing more and more important events and milestones of his family and our family. He’s not here for first days of school and a new year of flag football. He doesn’t get the chance to play with tiny new members of our family and birthday parties continue to happen without him.
My life sentence has no end on this planet. Every hour, every day, every week, every year – he is gone.
I have awesome memories of him, great pictures and two unbelievably precious grandchildren that remind me of him. But he’s not here.
And he will not be here.
Usually I try not to think about the fact that, 20 years from now, he will still be gone. I guess that’s the reality of a life sentence – it doesn’t change. There is no hope of parole. There is no break.
I try to focus on all of the blessings I had before Davey was killed and all of the blessings I have now. But….sometimes… the hole is just too big. The black hole of grief looms in front of me, making this never-ending path of loss extremely hard to navigate.
This life sentence on earth is a struggle.
So what’s my motivation for getting up in the morning?
Davey is gone but there are so many people still here. God has shown me that he has a purpose for me here on earth. There are still a lot of things he wants me to do. God is very obviously walking beside me down this tough road, giving me strength for the climb and wisdom for the blind curves.
I have also been given the eternal life sentence of being loved and cared for by my good Father God. This life sentence has already started and it will never end. There is no grief or loss in my relationship with God. Nothing can ever separate me from his love.
Davey is no longer experiencing any of these earthly struggles or pain. He’s in a perfect place with his Father God.
And I will be there, too, someday when my purpose on earth is done.
Miss you, Davey.
#8144loveyou
My Family Bleeds Blue 
Your words are so strong, Judy. The meaning, the heartache, the sorrow. I feel it. You remind us of the precious gifts we have. My heart breaks for you and my soul aches. But there is purpose. And you are definitely creating and carrying on the legacy. ❤
LikeLike
Thank you for your encouragement, Kelleigh. Love you💙💙
LikeLike
Another fantastic writing of your daily journey through life; the ups and downs; the blessings and the heartaches. I’m just so amazed at your ability to share your feelings over and over. I love reading your blog and love you Judy.💙💙💙
LikeLike
My heart truly goes out to all of the families “peace officers” who have laid the ultimate price to protect thousands and thousands of citizens they will never come to know.
Your son, David Glasser happens to be buried right across the sidewalk from our mom. I always stop by the David’s gravesite, Clayton Townsend’s gravesite and the other officers when I am out to visit our Mom. May God continue to hold these men close to him. God bless you, Mrs. Glasser. I hope you can have a great sense of God’s presence walking beside you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Laurie for your care and encouragement.💙💙💙
LikeLike
You are so eloquent with your words. I feel the same. A life sentence of missing my son Tony. EOW 4-11-17. What hurts the most is he was my only child. Never married. All I have are my memories of him. As each day I struggle, I know that Hod is with me, as Tony is with God and we will see each other when Jesus comes again. Meanwhile my life sentence at times seems unbearable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so glad to hear that you are staying close to God. He will help you and guide you and show you the purpose he has for you. I think the best way we can honor our sons is to do a great job with completing the tasks God has for us here… until our Father takes us home.💙💙💙
LikeLike