Each day, as we get closer to Christmas, the hole in my heart grows a little bigger,
and a little darker. The pain becomes a little stronger.
It becomes increasingly harder not to focus on what I have lost.
What my family has lost.
David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty May 18, 2016. My journey since then has been a constant struggle. And this struggle intensifies during the holidays when happy memories haunt my days. Davey is 7 in this picture and our daughter, Katie, is 3. They were both so excited about Christmas!
Sometimes I just wish the holidays were over.
I know many of you share my feelings. Since I’ve had this very public and tragic loss in my life, more people have been telling me about their own heartbreaks and the losses they have experienced. And others haven’t talked about it but I can see the private pain in your eyes when we talk about my heartbreak.
We both know the struggle, we share the struggle – especially at Christmas.
So I force my attention away from my loss and focus on all the blessings God is giving me right now – my four granddarlings are at the top of that list. They are so precious and they distract me from thinking about who is NOT here.
One of the several life-changing lessons I have learned from this tragedy is just how short our lives can be and how quickly someone can be gone. The painful grief I feel reminds me that I need to make the most of the time I have now with the people that are still here. This is not the time to get stuck in yesterday. I have new memories to make because there is no guarantee that we’ll have tomorrow together here on earth.
My heartache also reminds me that you and I shouldn’t ignore the difficult days that so many people around us are experiencing this time of year. I read that this week of Christmas has the highest rate of suicide across our nation.
That is so wrong.
So I pray for those of us who are feeling additional pain and loss during this tough season. And I am trying to be extra patient and kind to people in my world this week – on the freeway, at the store, in the parking lots. Many of them are struggling and I don’t want to add to the difficulties they have in their lives.
Can each of us think of a way we can reach out helping hands to others who are not enjoying ‘the most wonderful time of the year’?
And please join me in praying for a little more peace on earth during this holiday season. We need it.
Miss you, Davey.