Month: June 2023

It Leaves a Mark

There is a cost.

There is a commitment.

Love leaves a mark.

The cost is being more concerned about another person than you are about yourself.  What I want is not the most important thing when I love someone.

Commitment means loving this person even when they are unlovable.  Sometimes it means offering help and other times it means drawing helpful boundaries.

Loving someone well takes a lot of energy and patience, wisdom and understanding.  Loving people well is a lot of work.  And it leaves a mark.

I have discovered that this mark doesn’t go away after someone we love dies.  This mark is permanent and never leaves us.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  The mark he left on us was an unusual kind of love.  It was an outspoken love – a love that broke down some of the walls we have built as adults.  He said ‘love you’ often and you knew he meant it by how he included you and had fun with you and was loyal to you.  You knew there was a commitment being made when he said ‘love you”,

It wasn’t just something he said.

The mark Davey has left on us is big.  We have discovered how large of an impact he made on our lives as we continue to love one another with an outspoken love like he taught us.   Saying it and showing it.

The cost of loving people out loud is giving up some of our ‘separateness’ and privacy. The cost is taking our eyes off of ourselves long enough to see someone else that needs a hug or a hand.  The cost is letting others love us, knowing that this love will leave a mark.  It will change us.

The commitment is not giving up even when its tough or strange or even a little weird.  Yes, weird.  If you’ve been really trying to love others, you know what I mean.  The commitment is setting love as a priority and letting go of other things that we always used to think were important.

If I were to draw a picture of the mark Davey has left on us, it would not be a heart.  It would be a magic wand.  Because I have discovered since Davey’s death that loving people out loud has magical qualities which cannot be explained.

Love changes things.  It has a supernatural power that comes straight from God.  Love brings light into the darkness.  Love soothes pain and sadness and loneliness.

Love really can change the world.

Thank you for the permanent mark of love you have left on our lives, Davey.

Miss you.

Love you.

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst Happens2 Comments

So Much

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst Happens4 Comments

I have lost so much. And it doesn’t stop.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016. When Davey died, he took all of my plans and dreams for the rest of my life with him. He was included in all of them and a central character in many.

They were all ripped away. I’ve been on a journey of creating revised plans and dreams these last 7 years. It hasn’t been easy. It’s nothing I wanted to do but it needed to be done. God has a purpose for why I am still here so I move forward, one painful step at a time.

My daughter, Katie, and I recently had the opportunity to travel to Rome, Italy together and get on a cruise ship that toured the Greek Isles. It was fun and we made a boatload (pun intended) of new, precious memories.

But my heart broke a little more every time I thought about the last time we were in Rome – Davey had been with us. Almost 16 years ago, my whole family toured Italy for 2 1/2 weeks. That family is no longer whole because we’re missing a main person – Davey.

We just keep losing.

That’s what so different when a child dies . Davey should be here – right now. I was not supposed to go to his funeral, he was supposed to go to mine. He would have been a part of everything that has happened the last 7 years. He should have had a part of everything that will happen in my life until I leave this planet.

Today, on Father’s Day, its especially hard because Davey left his two small children behind. He was already proving to be a great father before he died. He was involved with everything about his children and spend a lot of time with them. They have lost so much.

It’s a very tough journey. If you are interested in reading more of my story, I recently published a book on Amazon, “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love.”

Sometimes its hard to keep a positive attitude about tomorrow knowing that I’m just going to keep losing what should have been. I’m getting used to life without Davey but I don’t like it. I’m getting used to losing more every year –

but I don’t like it.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

It’s A Struggle

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst Happens3 Comments

I have been struggling with the grief of losing my son for over 7 years. Recently, I have gotten a new understanding of just how many of you are also struggling with grief and loss. You are travelling with me on this very tough journey of surviving the death of someone we were very close to.

In February I published a book on Amazon, “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love.” This is the story of my son, David Glasser’s, death in the line of duty, his life and my search for hope as I figured out how to move forward after my life exploded.

Since publishing the book, I have received many messages from people who have read my story and they tell me how it helped them with their own struggle. These messages have come from all kinds of people, not just those who lost a child. I have heard from sisters, wives, brothers, husbands, children and everyone else out there who has been grieving the death of someone who left a big hole in their lives. I have heard from people who are experiencing grief over divorces. I have heard from people who are not struggling themselves with grief right now but reading the book has helped them understand family and friends who are.

It has opened my eyes to how many grieving people there are in my world who are dealing with these tough, painful emotions.

“Your book changed my life.” one of my neighbors told me when I saw her at our shared mailbox. “I was stuck in a deep, dark pit after losing my best friend and now I have started to move forward and enjoy my life again. I’m sending the book to a friend who really needs it.”

“God spoke to me through your story and it changed everything” another friend told me as she sat down next to me at Bingo. Her husband died last year and she couldn’t get past some of the ‘What if’s’ of the situation until she spent some time studying Job 14:5. “A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.”

” The truth in your book helped me answer some questions I had that made me get stuck in anger and bitterness, ” a sister of a fallen officer wrote. “Now I feel motivated to move forward and honor my brother’s life.”

” Your book helped me process my daughter’s death from over 20 years ago in a new way” said another friend. “I have a much more positive perspective now.”

And the comments, texts and emails continue to flow in.

What a blessing! I am extremely happy that sharing my story is helping other’s deal with their own broken hearts in a positive way. It gives purpose to my pain.

This is what I believe is happening – in the book I shared the truth that God has taught me about life and death and how different his perspective is from your’s and mine. I also told you my story which gave you ideas of how you can apply this truth to your situation.

When our lives are anchored on God’s truth, he can make all the difference.

One of my favorite comments is when people tell me they sent the book to a friend or family member. You are the people who know people who would benefit from reading this book. A lot of you are doing this!

Keep it up! I love it! It’s something positive we can do when we find ourselves in a “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.” situation.

Meanwhile, we all continue the struggle – together.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

Exiled

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst HappensLeave a comment

You may have heard this famous verse from Jeremiah, “For I know the plans I have for you, ” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 29:11.

What an awesome promise!  We love to print it on plaques and hang it on our walls.

But did you realize that this promise was originally made to the Israelites who had been exiled by God to Babylon?  God let the King of Babylon capture Jerusalem and take the Israelites away from their homes.  Right before his promise concerning his good plans for them, God told Israel through Jeremiah that they would be in exile for 70 years.

70 years.

This meant that many of them would die in Babylon – never going back to Jerusalem. The Israelites had been ripped away from the homes they had expected to live in for the rest of their lives.  They were now living in a foreign land – exiled – and many of them would die far from their home in Jerusalem.

Do you ever feel like you have been exiled?

I have.

I do.

The life I expected to live was suddenly snatched away from me when my son, David Glasser, was killed in the line of duty six years ago.  My world has changed so drastically that sometimes it feels like I am now living in a foreign land.  I’m exiled far from what I thought the rest of my life was going to look like before Davey died.

And today, God is saying to me – and maybe to you – that I will continue to live in this foreign place until he comes to take me home.  While I’m here, he has plans for me.  He is giving me hope and a purpose.

After his initial famous promise in Jeremiah, God gives us more promises.  He tells us that when we pray, he will listen.  When we diligently look for him, we will find him.

I know God always keeps his promises – that’s a fact.  I have discovered that reading his Word, absorbing what he is saying to me and growing my trust in him gives me the strength and peace I need for each day as I live out the rest of my days…

here in exile.