Only Two

My beautiful little granddaughter turned 3 years-old this week.  She is an intelligent, strong-willed little girl whose life is packed full of potential.  She knows what she wants and she is going to be dynamite when she figures out how to channel all of the willpower in the right direction.

How do I know that?  I’ve got a strong will of my own – that’s no secret to those of you who know me.  My daughter also has this strength so I have experienced first-hand the joys and the challenges of parenting a strong-willed child.  The challenges turn into joys when the child figures how to focus all of that powerful energy into positive things like learning and achieving.  Until then, each smile is a gift. 🙂

My constant prayer for my grandchildren is that God will orchestrate good things in their lives through the tragic death of their father.  I am holding onto this promise from God with both hands.  I have no idea how this will happen – I’m just going to trust his love for them and his love for all us while I continue to pray.

My own father died suddenly from a massive heart attack when I was 21 years-old.  He missed a major part of my life.  He never met my husband.  He wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle.  He never had the chance to hold my children.    I have always thought that I was too young to lose my father.

But now I know what too young really is.  Edie’s only memories of Davey will be pictures and our memories – that’s the way she will know her father.  

But Davey’s DNA is permanently weaved through her personality and we will be able to catch glimpses of him as she grows up even though she didn’t get to spend much time with him.  His fingerprints are on her life and we will see the characteristics she shares with her dad develop as she grows into a young woman.

Davey’s legacy of strength, fun, integrity, love and faith along with much, much more lives in both of his children.

What a precious gift to them ….. and to us.




Live It Large!

I am not promised tomorrow.  I might not be here.

People I care about may not be here.  Last year etched this fact in my brain and in my heart.  I hope it’s etched in your brain and heart, too.

I have to make today count.  The best of intentions are really pretty worthless – they are just a waste of time unless I’m going to act on them.

Davey has been described several times as being ‘larger than life’.  I love that!  It means he made the most of his time – loving people, planning fun times and following through on them.  He was also serious about his work and gave his full effort to being great at doing something he loved.  

Davey did more and loved more in 34 years than some people do in a lifetime.

That’s a great statement about Davey but a sad statement about how other people fail to really live their lives.

One a scale of 1 to 10, how are you doing on the ‘larger than life’ scale?

If you don’t like your rating, there is no time better than today to start changing it.

I am currently cruising to Aruba, the Panama Canal and a couple of other of my ‘bucket list’ locations.  I can’t help thinking back to last year when Davey and Kristen went on a Caribbean cruise with his squad.  A lot of people would have decided not to go because they would be leaving their 2 small children for a week.  Not Davey and Kristen.  They knew their time together and with friends was important and they also knew the kids were fine with Papa and Mimi. (that’s us).

My husband and I had an awesome week having fun with the ‘littles’.  It had been 30 years since our kids were that small so our energy level was a lot different but they went to bed early, so we made it!  We skyped with the ‘Cruisers’ every night and no one had a meltdown – even mom 🙂

None of us could possibly know how precious that week would become.  Sooooo glad they went!  So much fun!  So many unforgettable memories!

Such a great lesson about making each week count.  Let’s not put off the fun stuff and the great memory stuff – let’s do it today.  The person we want to do it with may not be here tomorrow.




Courage Honor Sacrifice

I am very proud of all of the officers and civilians who received awards at the Phoenix Police Department’s Annual Awards Ceremony last week!  Congratulations, Blue Family!

Real Heros.

We heard all kinds of stories about men and women saving lives, putting themselves in grave danger to protect the innocent and many suffering personal injury in order to save others from injury.




Chaplain Bob Fesmire received the COPS Volunteer Excellence Award!  Congratulations, Bob!  You are such a great man of God doing an awesome job! My family has been greatly blessed by you.  Love you!

Davey received 3 awards as well including the Medal of Honor.

Very bittersweet.

It’s awesome to see Davey honored and remembered.  It’s great being surrounded by our Blue family as the account of his sacrifice is shared with all us.

But he’s not here.

He’ll never be here again.

That’s still hard to fathom.  I still don’t want to believe it.

As I move forward from May 18, 2016, it can often feel like I’m on a foggy road.  On that day, I took a quick left turn into darkness where the fog was very heavy and it was hard to see my next step.

Gradually, there have been more days where the fog lifts and the sun peaks out around the clouds.  It’s a good day……until somthing happens and the fog lowers again.

God talks to Joshua – and to me and to you – in Deuteronomy 31 –

Be strong.  Be courageous.

Do not be afraid.

God is with me.  He is also with you if you believe.

God will never leave us.

It’s a command and a promise.   Holding onto that promise helps me step out into the fog and it helps me enjoy the sunshine when it comes.  Knowing that God is with me helps me be confident that there are good things ahead.

New dreams.

New opportunities.

Making new memories.

And we will figure out how to do all of this without forgetting the sunshine of the past.

The sunshine that was Davey.

We are so blessed to have a large group of family and friends and, of course, our blue family who love us and are taking this journey with us.  Together, we are navigating the uncertainties of this dark road.  We are facing the fog and moving forward into the sunshine together.

It’s exactly what Davey would want us to do.




What’s Happening?

“Something is going on.”

“I’m not sure where this is going to end up, but let me tell you what’s happening.”

“Things just seem to be falling into place…”

Every week, at least one of you tells me about a piece of the plan that is taking shape in your life.  You know who you are 🙂

Most of us don’t know about the others.  Each of us thinks this unusual thing is just happening to us.

It’s not.

I am feeling the shaking…

I can see the mountain shifting…  being reshaped….altered.

There’s a plan –

His plan.

First, God is shaping the pieces.

And then he is slowly…………… gradually…………….fitting them into place.img_1861

It all makes sense to him.

It seems like a long, foggy journey into the unknown to me.  Does it feel like that to you?img_1860

That’s why we need each other.  Together, we are going to accomplish what God has planned.  He is bringing good out of the evil that happened on May 18, 2016.

There are a lot of pieces – none of us know how many.  Do you have a piece?

It’s going to take teamwork.  I love these pictures of Davey and his team last year when they did the Tough Mudder.   It was long, it was hard, and there was pain.  Sounds kind of like the journey we’re on now, doesn’t it?

But they persevered.  They worked together.  And they successfully finished the race.img_1818

And that’s what we’re going to do.  Together.

There’s a purpose.

There’s a plan.

God is busy moving mountains.