When my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016, I had no idea how painful this journey was going to be.  This has been far more awful than any other loss I have experienced.

There are so many tough parts to this journey, its hard to describe.  I knew before this happened that each one of us experiences loss and grief differently – I didn’t realize how different a specific loss can be from the others.

This time, many of the things people have said to me regarding Davey’s death are not helpful because they simply don’t relate to what I’m experiencing.  Things like  – “Time heals all wounds,”, ” It will get easier”, “It will get better”, “It will hurt less and less.”  When anyone shares something like this with me, I realize that they obviously have not an experienced a loss like his.

I’m discovering that this journey it is not getting less painful.

I’m just getting used to it.

My broken heart is not ‘healing’.  Unpredictably, things will happen and it feels like a hot knife is digging into the bottom of my bleeding heart, twisting, blistering.

And I’m getting used to it.

My new reality is not ‘getting better’.  How could it?  Davey is not here – he hasn’t been here for over 2 years.

I’m just getting used to it.

It’s not ‘getting better’.  The hole Davey left in our lives is getting bigger.

And I’m gradually getting used to it.

I am also getting used to focusing on the 34 1/2 awesome years we had him with us.  Such a unique and fun person!  He was a special blessing our family had for too short of a time.

I am getting used to smiling through the tears as memories of God’s gift to us of a great little boy who grew into a special young man fill my mind.

I am getting used to being extremely thankful for the close relationship my husband, my daughter and I had with Davey throughout his life.  We were there for everything – all of his sports, all of his events, all the important moments.  We travelled the world with him – Hawaii, London, Spain, Italy, Alaska -and all over the United States – making great memories.  My husband and I lived 1 mile from him and his family the last 5 years of his life and we saw him almost every day.  We are very grateful for all of the time we got to spend with him those last precious years.

No regrets.

And I’m getting used to the clearer perspective I have on how short life is. How this is not my real home. How very important people are.

How love really is the answer.

Love has made this journey less painful.

Davey knew that.

#8144loveyou

 

 

One of my favorite things to do is share great memories of Davey with people who really knew him.  It feels good and I’m pretty amazed at what I hear sometimes.  I have learned some very precious things about him from other people.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty May 19, 2016.  Recently, a bunch of his squad members, friends and my husband and I spent some time at ‘Davey’s spot” in the Phoenix Memorial cemetery to remember him together on the second anniversary of his death.  As we shared stories, I learned something new about how much Davey cared for all of us.

A little background on this – Davey always took care of my husband and my cell phones.  He would tell us it was time to order new ones and then he would order them for us since we were all on the same plan.  When the new phones came in, he would transfer our data and then he would sell our old phones for the difference so we never paid anything for our new phones.  He would also make sure we kept the boxes and had good covers and cases for our new phones so that he could resell them for top dollar.  He was great at it and it was a big help to us.

Since Davey has been gone two years, just a month ago my husband and I decided it was time to figure out how to get a new phone for ourselves.  Yuck!  We really missed Davey handling all of this for us.  Luckily we’re retired because it took us about a week and a couple of trips to Verizon to get it all worked out.

So, on May 19th, when we were sharing great memories of Davey at his spot in the cemetery, imagine my amazement when I discovered for the first time that he did all of this for a bunch of the people in his squad.  He ordered phones, transferred data and then sold phones so it didn’t cost anything for a whole group of people!

What a unique but important way to show how much he cared for us!  It’s like he had his own little new cell phone service going on and I never knew it.  He must have realized what a pain it was for many of us and he liked doing it so he did it for all of us.

That is so like him!  He loved us and cared for us in any way he could, not making a big deal out of it.

Davey leaves behind a legacy of saying “love you” and backing that up with action.  Let’s all follow his lead.

Miss you, Davey!

#8144loveyou

The Love You Cruise 2018 set sail yesterday from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Two months before David Glasser, my son who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty, he and his wife, Kristen, went on a cruise with a group of his squad members and their wives.  We are so glad he and Kristen went!  It was a great time of making special memories that can never be repeated.  Because Davey is no longer on this earth.

But we are. Good times are better when they are remembered together and this is a great time to make some new fun memories.  That’s what the Love You Cruise is all about.

One of the major lessons we have all learned these last two years is how short life is – how unpredictable life is.  Don’t put off having fun until tomorrow.  We need to take advantage of every opportunity to love each other and laugh.

And that was a big part of who Davey was – having a fun time and loving people.  He was also planner so he was constantly planning his next good time.  Before his cruise was over he was already talking about the next cruise he wanted to take with this rowdy bunch.  He wanted to leave from San Juan and cruise the southern Caribbean.

Davey never got the chance – but we do.  The Love You Cruise 2018.

We’ll be hitting the ports, hitting the beaches and hitting the adult beverages in memory of the fun-loving friend and son whom we lost too soon…..

much too soon.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou