I Was Surprised

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

Parts of his funeral are foggy to me and other parts are crystal clear.  I will never forget sitting in the front row of the huge church auditorium packed to the rafters with family, friends and police officers and their wives.  As I sat there with thousands of people sitting behind me, I felt huge waves of grief rolling over the crowd.  That was one of the experiences that helped me understand how many people were affected by Davey’s death.

This was much bigger than family and friends and people who knew him.  This was my whole big blue family grieving.  I had never experienced that amount of serious grief and pain in one room.

Unbelievable.

The speakers at his funeral were awesome and I appreciated everything people shared.

I did not expect to be surprised by a few things that people talked about.  I knew Davey well and spent a ton of time with him.  As his mother, I thought I knew all about him.  But two things that were shared were not things I expected.

One of them is Davey’s Legacy of Love – he made a big deal out of saying ‘love you’ to his squad members before he left on a call and he would stand there, waiting for them to say it back to them.  I knew Davey always said it to me, I just didn’t know that it was the last thing that he said to everyone that he cared about in his life.  I didn’t know that he had his whole squad of tough police officers saying it to each other before they left on a call.  I also didn’t know at the time of his funeral how Davey’s legacy of love was going to totally change the journey we have been on since that day.  Love is the answer.  I’ve shared that many times with you and I’ll probably keep saying it until the day I leave this earth for home.

The other thing that surprised me was how many of the speakers talked about Davey sharing his faith.  I shouldn’t be surprised because he had a very strong faith.   I just never heard him sharing his faith with other people so I didn’t realize he talked about God as much as he did.  Now I realize that, if he cared about you and he wasn’t sure you believed in Jesus, he would bring it up….often.  In fact, he didn’t let the subject die, he kept talking about it.  He would challenge his friend’s beliefs and unbelief.

How awesome!  It’s just another reason why I’m proud of the man Davey was.  Davey accepted Jesus as his Savior as a child and continued to grow in his faith through the rest of his life.  In this picture, Davey and my husband, Dave, are at a Promise Keeper’s Christian Men’s Rally.  Promise Keepers taught men all about living a life of integrity and keeping their promises.  Davey learned that lesson very well – those of you who knew him already were aware of that.

God provided a great church family for us which was the village that helped grow Davey’s faith.  Davey went to church camp and mission trips every year – living out his faith and having a great time doing it.  This picture is of one of the groups of kids that went on a church mission trip when Davey was in high school.  He is in the back row next to Jay Van Gelder who spoke at his funeral.  And Kristen is in the front row.  We had no idea that they would marry not too many years after this picture was taken.

Davey sets a good role model for those of us who believe.  We need to share our faith and what we know to be true – and we need to keep sharing it.

And do it all while we love people.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you!

No Word

There is no word for losing a child. A child who loses their parents is an orphan. A husband who loses his wife is a widower.

But there is no word for a parent who loses a child. Maybe that’s because the pain is indescribable. It’s so wrong. It’s not supposed to happen.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016 and my life blew up. All of my hopes and dreams were ripped away because Davey played a part in all of them.

Parents like me have to piece our lives back together around a big hole after losing a child. It’s very hard to do. It’s a daily struggle for a long time – years – to develop new habits. It doesn’t feel right because rebuilding a life without our child feels like we are leaving a very important part of us behind.

God is the one who helped me figure out how to move forward, bringing Davey with me. Davey still has a significantly positive role in the life I have built these last 9 1/2 years since his death.

The David Glasser Foundation has played a big part in helping all of us take Davey with us as we move forward. Through the foundation, we get to complete some of the work that Davey would have done if he was still here and that feels very good.

Hosting a Law Enforcement Memorial Day community gathering at our house every year helps my husband and I take Davey with us. Davey loved to play cornhole so getting out the boards reminds us of many good times throwing some bags with him.

Writing a book about Davey’s life, his death and my journey to find hope after losing a child has helped me include Davey in the life I have pieced together since his death. Writing this blog has helped.

I have shared with you that I put together family picture albums each year and Davey always shows up in those.

Davey left a legacy of love when he taught us to say ‘love you’ instead of good-bye. Now, every time I say it or write it, it feels like Davey is standing right next to me with a smile on his face.

Not every parent who has a lost a child needs to start a foundation or write a book. Each of us has to figure out how this works for us. Some people create traditions for the birthday of the child they lost or start a scholarship for something that was significant in their child’s life.

There is no word that describes the reality of being a parent who has lost a child….

but taking them with us as we move forward honors their lives and gives us a purpose again.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

Forever 34

It’s been it’s a struggle to move forward from May 18, 2016.  That’s the day my world blew up.  It’s a day that is etched into my mind by grief and pain – the day my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

I am blessed with a great group of family, friends and my Blue Family.  I’m learning how to live with only memories of Davey.

It’s not easy. It doesn’t feel right. The empty hole in my life is very evident.

But I have no other choice.

I thank God for no regrets and a ton of precious memories.

Davey’s birthday is this week, November 19th.  He would have been 44 years-old.  We had so much fun on his birthday every year!  His 20th birthday landed on a home Cardinals game – the early years of the Cardinals.  We all had a blast tailgating.  Beer pong was still an approved activity then so there were lots of ping pong balls flying everywhere.  Good times!

asu

Davey’s birthday is right before Thanksgiving so it always felt like his birthday extended into the holiday. He often had an ASU vs UofA Football Watch party the day after Thanksgiving if the big rivalry game was being not being played in town. If the game was in town he was usually tailgating somewhere close to the stadium.  Davey loved ASU and he loved the rivalry.  He graduated from ASU along with most of our family except we have one Wildcat…..and he loved to razz her about it …constantly 🙂

Everybody would come to Davey’s football parties and we would have a great time laughing and playing all day.  Cornhole.  Washers.  Watching the game.  Drinking some Coors Light.  

davey-square

 It’s hard now.  We miss him.  We miss his laugh and his joking and his big smile of delight when he was surrounded by his friends and family.

It’s been over 9 years since I’ve seen his smile in person. I have a re-occurring dream where I see Davey at a distance and I keep following him around trying to talk to him – trying to get him to smile at me. But I can never get close enough. Davey was shot in the back of his head and he has a big patch on his head in my dream. The first time I saw it (in my dream) I couldn’t figure out what it was. Then I realized that was where he was shot. Isn’t it crazy that my subconscious would add that to my dream?

Except for the patch, in my dream Davey looks just like he did in 2016. He looks just like this picture that was taken 2 months before he was killed.

My four special grand darlings are all growing taller and are physically changing a lot as they grown up. The rest of us are growing older with more gray hair, wrinkles, and age spots.

But Davey will stay forever 34…..

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

It’s A Gift

The gift of clarity.

My world blew up on May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.  My hopes and dreams crumbled into a pile of painful pieces and everything changed.

Nothing has been the same since that day.  So much grief, so many tears, such a huge hole.

But, as so many things were lost and stripped away, one thing became crystal clear.

My time on earth is very short.  I am not guaranteed tomorrow.  The people I love may not be here tomorrow.

I need to have my priorities straight.  I need to understand what is most important and make sure I’m living to make the most of each day.

The gift of clarity.

God comes first.  He is my Rock and his love for me is the only thing that didn’t shake on May 18, 2016.  He has been my constant companion as hurt and grief and change have turned my life upside these last 9 1/2 years. I have learned that I don’t need to understand everything, I just need to trust God.  He’s got this.

Next priority –  loving other people.  God tells us to love him and to love others for a reason.  God and people are the only things that really count.  All the other things – money, success, houses, stuff – is temporary and just not that important.   People are important.

Love is important.  Davey’s legacy of ‘Love you’ has drastically changed my life since he was killed – saying it to others and having it said to me.  Before Davey’s death my ‘love you’s’ were reserved for only those closest to me.  After his death, I realized that its important to love all of the people around me and they need to hear to it.  So I speak love a thousand times more I ever did before.  I say it and write it to crowds of people who would have never heard those words from me.  And I mean it.  I want the best for you.  I care about you.  I want to contribute to the love in your world because you’re important.

Hearing ‘love you’ from so many of you has been a game-changer for me.  I didn’t realize how much of a difference it has made until I went to Washington, DC for Police Week the year after Davey was killed and met with a group of other mothers whose sons had been killed in the line of duty the year before. We all shared the extreme loss and grief of losing a child.  But I never experienced the dark and hostile place filled with anger and bitterness that many of them were in.  I’m very glad about that – it was hard to even be in the same room with all of it.  I give thanks to God for helping me avoid that negativity and I also give a lot of credit to ‘Love you”.

It’s hard to be negative when you’re surrounded by love.

It’s hard to be bitter when people all around are hugging you and saying ‘love you’.

It’s hard to be angry when every ‘love you’ reminds you of a very special person who also loved you.

I am so grateful that Davey gave us ‘Love you”.  It’s a God thing – God knew it would help us not only survive this tragedy but also move forward in a positive direction, taking Davey with us.  We have loved each other well and it has changed everything.

The gift of clarity.

What is important?

What should I spend my time doing?

What should I spend my money doing?

I am sharing this gift of clarity with you today because today may be my last day.  It may be your’s.

Let’s spend it wisely.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you!

 

 

 

It’s a Sign

It’s a sign that one man who cared can make a difference.

It’s a sign that David Glasser’s legacy of love is destined to have a permanent effect on the kids who live in Laveen….and beyond.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016 in Laveen, Arizona.  He loved being a police officer and he committed his life to helping make the streets of Phoenix a safer place for you and I to live.  He wanted to make a difference by working as one of the good guys, making our communities safer for our kids to play in.  He asked to work in the highest risk areas of Phoenix in order to protect you and me from the dangerous people who prowl the streets of those neighborhoods.

Everyone who drives by this plaque in Laveen is reminded of the day that the City of Phoenix lost a hero. A couple of months after the first sign went up, the 2d sign was added to the post. Someone saw it and sent me this picture. Love it!

A year after he was killed, the Laveen Elementary School District decided to honor Davey and his memory by naming the athletic field they were building after him.  What a great idea!  Davey loved sports – all of them.  He was a huge fan of the Cardinals, the Diamondbacks and all of the ASU sports teams. Whenever the Cardinals would have a tough year and attendance at their games would go down, Davey would talk loud and long about ‘fair weather fans’.  Loyalty was a huge issue for Davey.

Davey played baseball and basketball, focusing on basketball as he got into high school and onto the varsity team.  He knew a lot about sports and planned to become a coach after he retired from the police department.  That’s one of the many dreams which will never come true.

But Davey never dreamed that an athletic complex would be named after him.  And that has come true.  Here’s the sign:

It’s a beautiful complex at 5001 West Dobbins Road in Laveen.  Stop in sometime and take a look.

There is not a more appropriate way to honor Davey than by naming a sports complex after him.  And there is no better place for it than in the middle of the community he died serving.  Kids playing sports on these fields for many years to come will be reminded of a Police Officer who cared enough to work hard in their community to help keep them safe.  His love for his community lives on here at these fields.

It’s a sign that one man who cared can make a difference.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.