Each day, as we get closer to Christmas, the hole in my heart grows a little bigger,
and a little darker. The pain becomes a little stronger.
It becomes increasingly harder not to focus on what I have lost.
What my family has lost.
David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty last year. The journey from May 18, 2016 to now has been a constant struggle. And this struggle intensifies during the holidays – he loved everything about Christmas.
Sometimes I just wish the holidays were over.
I know many of you share my feelings. Since I’ve had this very public and tragic loss in my life, more people have been sharing their own heartbreaks and the losses they have experienced with me. And others haven’t talked about it but I can see the private pain in their eyes when we talk about my heartbreak.
They know the struggle – especially at Christmas.
So I force my attention away from who I don’t have in my life any longer. And I focus on all the blessings God is giving me right now – our daughter and son-in-law are coming home for Christmas for the first time in several years. They are bringing their ‘baby bump’ which is my new tiny granddaughter who we will get to meet in February. Thank for this huge blessing, Father God!
We are also planning several special times with family and friends during the holidays. We have learned a life-changing lesson in just how short our lives can be and how quickly someone can be gone. So, because of the hole, we know we need to make the most of the time we have together. This is not the time to get stuck in yesterday. We have new memories to make because there is no guarantee that we’ll have tomorrow together here on earth.
And we can’t ignore the struggle that is happening in so many people’s lives at this time of year. I read that this week of Christmas has the highest rate of suicide across our nation.
That is so wrong.
So I pray for those of us who are experiencing additional pain and loss during this difficult season. And I am trying to be extra patient and kind to people in my world this week – on the freeway, at the store, in the parking lots. Many of them are struggling and I don’t want to add to the difficulties they are experiencing.
A group of my family and friends had the opportunity to do our annual organizing and wrapping gifts for UMOM this last week. UMOM provides housing for homeless families. A new family was moving in while we were wrapping and I can only imagine the trials that family is experiencing this week. It blessed us to know we were helping to bless families – especially children – in the middle of their very tough circumstances during Christmas.
Can each of us think of a way we can reach out helping hands to those who are struggling?
And please join me in praying for a little more peace on earth during this holiday season.