A bomb exploded in my life on May 18, 2016.

My plans were made.  I was on a course that had my son’s smile and laughter plastered all over it.

And then the bomb went off – sending me onto a whole new trajectory.  My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on that day. His death put me on a path I never wanted to be on.  All my former plans don’t fit the journey I am on now.

I know I’m not alone.  There is a large group of us who were loving life with Davey when the bomb went off.

And now we find ourselves in this other world…..which is darker….and has an obvious empty space.

Don’t tell me time heals all wounds.  This mother’s heart has a hole in it which will not be healed this side of heaven.

So…

here I am……

– hanging a thin blue line garden flag on my lamp post in front of my house to remember and honor Davey every day.

-renewing my Colorado Fallen Hero car license plate that has Davey’s badge number on it.

-visiting Davey’s spot in the cemetery whenever we go to Phoenix. His tree is growing well and I always add a windchime. The peaceful tinkling sound reminds me that Davey is with his Father God. He is happy. He has been given his reward. I will be there, too, someday.

-planning another get together for my friends and neighbors in my community in Denver on May 15, National Law Enforcement Memorial Day. My husband and I have been doing this for several years to remember all of our fallen heroes and bring awareness to people around us of all the sacrifices Police Officers make to serve and protect our communities.

-continuing to sponsor youth sports teams across the Phoenix Metropolitan area through the David Glasser Foundation. Davey would love this. By supporting teams which have police officer volunteers actively participating with the team, we are giving kids and their families a chance to have positive interactions with law enforcement officers. That’s our mission. We get to continue some of the work Davey would have done.

-smiling at pictures of our recent Remembrance Throwdown in honor of Davey. It’s been 10 years since he was killed. 10 years of missing him. 10 years of figuring out how to move forward from the tragedy, bringing him with us. It was so good to hang out with some of the people we went through hell with on May 18, 2016. We survived and have learned to live with the hole Davey left.

We’re on a very different path than any of us expected before May 18th, 2016.

One day about 8 months after Davey was killed, I was shopping and saw a small plate with ‘Embrace the Journey’ written on it.  I stood in that store in front of that plate for a long time.

Thinking……………………………….

About the bomb that has gone off in my life and in the lives of so many people I love.

Thinking about the pain and the grief and the tears of the last many months.

Thinking about 2016 – marked by tragedy but colored by love.

So, standing in that store, I decided to Embrace the Journey. 

Of course I bought the dish and started putting my wedding ring on it every night.  My wedding ring changed in 2016 as well.  Since its the only piece of jewelry that I always wear, I added blue sapphires to it.  Fallen but never forgotten.

Its now 10 years later and I know a lot more about this journey – the ups and downs, the dark days and awesome memories. I still place my ring with its blue sapphires on this dish every night. Each time I do it, I am reminded of my commitment to Embrace this Journey.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.