There is a cost.

There is a commitment.

Love leaves a mark.

The cost is being more concerned about another person than you are about yourself.  What I want is not the most important thing when I love someone. It means taking our eyes off of ourselves long enough to see someone else that needs a hug or a hand. The cost of loving others is giving up some of our ‘separateness’ and deciding to actually care for people around us.  We have to let others love us, knowing that this love will leave a mark.  It will change us.

Commitment means loving this person even when they are unlovable.  Sometimes it means offering help and other times it means supporting them as they figure it out for themselves. When we commit to love one another, it means we don’t give up even when its tough or uncomfortable. It means loving people who think differently than we do. Unfortunately in our current culture, people have started turning away from anyone who doesn’t agree with them. The ‘hate’ word comes up far too often. We have always had many different perspectives between generations – that’s nothing new. What’s new is the lack of commitment to love people in spite of the differences. We need to get good at agreeing to disagree because we love this person and that is more important than our conflict of opinions. It means setting love as a priority and letting other things that we always used to think were important slide down the list.

Loving someone well takes a lot of energy and patience, wisdom and understanding.  Loving people well is a lot of work.  And it leaves a mark.

I have discovered that this mark doesn’t go away after someone we love dies.  This mark is permanent and never leaves us.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  The mark he left was an unusual kind of love.  It was an outspoken love – a love that broke some boundaries that we can set up as adults.  He said ‘love you’ often and you knew he meant it by how he included you and had fun with you and was loyal to you.  You knew there was a commitment being made when he said ‘love you”, it wasn’t just something he said.

The mark he left on us is big.   We have discovered how big it is this last 10 years since he was killed as those of us with his mark have loved each other more and we have loved each other better. More hugs. More caring. 

If I were to draw a picture of the mark Davey has left on us, it would not be a heart.  It would be a magic wand.  Because genuine love has magical qualities that cannot be explained. It comes from God with a power none of us truly understands. But we can see it’s effect on us.

Love changes things.  Love brings light into the darkness.  Love soothes pain and sadness and loneliness. Love fills our world with purpose. It gives meaning to the difficult things in life and hope for a better tomorrow. What I have learned about love this last 10 years has renewed my thinking. My heart has grown. Davey’s mark on my life has transformed my world. It can transform your’s, too.

When you choose to love.

Miss you, Davey. Love you.