Feeling It…..

left behind.

I visit Davey’s spot in the cemetery every week to clean it and make sure it looks good.

And to pray.  I pray for our family, our extended ‘family’ which includes his squad and I pray for the families of the other fallen officers.

The list of things that I’ve done that I thought I would never have to do has grown very long since May 19,2016.  I recently added one more thing to that list when I bought the plot to the left of Davey’s for my husband and I.  Now that Davey has a spot, it feels right to have a spot next to him for our cremated remains, too.

We’re going to be planting a tree in the next few months in that area as well.  We had already planned this before I saw the movie, “The Shack”.  Have you seen it?  Now I know why I wanted a tree.

Spoiler alert – they planted the seed of a tree on top of his daughter’s grave.  When they watered it with the father’s tears, it miraculously immediately grew into a big, beautiful, green tree.

Awesome!  Life!  In a place where we remember those who have died.

If our tree doesn’t grow as fast as the one in the movie, it won’t be from the lack of tears.

Looking around the cemetery, I am reminded of all the people I love who are already in heaven.

I really miss my mom.  She was so much fun and such an amazing Christian woman!  My father was a good man who died when I was 21 years-old so I never got to know him as an adult.  I guess I’ll have lots of time for that in heaven.  My stepfather was also a good man who married my mother on her 70th birthday.  He was a fantastic grandfather to my children.   My oldest brother was 13 years older than me and went to heaven a couple of years ago.  He was the one who walked me down the aisle.

Fortunately, I have a strong, Christian background so my grandparents are all in heaven along with a large number of my aunts, uncles and cousins.

And now my son.

He is there.  And there are times when I have a strong feeling of being left behind.  Don’t worry.  There’s no need to call a hotline 🙂  I’ll be here until God decides differently.

But there are days when I am homesick.  Home is where my Father God is.  Home – where there are no diseases and trials.  No grief.  No pain.  Home – the number of people I love who are already home is growing.

It is our home because Jesus redeemed our lives.  He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

He is the Way to heaven.

He is the Truth here on earth.

And the Life he gives us doesn’t end here.

If you haven’t made the choice to trust in Jesus, there is no better time than now.  Tomorrow may be too late.

Davey and I would really like for you to join us someday in heaven…

Davey is already there.



6 responses to “Feeling It…..”

  1. Cindy and Merlin Clark Avatar
    Cindy and Merlin Clark

    I continue to shed buckets of tears for you and your family. Judy ~ you are an amazing woman. You are filled with faith and hope and the LOVE OF GOD. He will be by our sides every day and gives us the strength we need to get through the days. I am thankful for your blog. I finally just started reading it and love your written thoughts.


    1. Thank you, Cindy💙💙💙


  2. You are so amazing with your words and I appreciate each and every one of them! Thank you-can’t wait to meet and hug you someday.

    Danielle Murphy
    Surviving Spouse of Travis Murphy


    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Danielle! It means a lot to me – especially because you have also been through this. I would love a hug! Let’s schedule a lunch!💙💙💙


  3. Beautiful Judy! I saw the Shack and loved it too! Keep writing….


    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Vicky! Love you!💙💙💙


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