It’s a Ride….

A roller coaster ride.

Up one day –

down the next.

Feeling good one hour –

ready to go sit in a dark closet the next.

A smile on my face one minute –

and tears running down it the next.

So many memorials – all bittersweet.

It’s awesome to remember and honor Davey together with our Blue family.

But it also points a finger at the huge, gaping hole in our lives…

the hole we are trying to figure out how to live with.  The hole that will never be filled this side of heaven.

I don’t need any help remembering that hole.

And the roller coaster ride continues.

Such fun!  My grandson and Kristen got to fly up to the Grand Canyon in a helicopter with David Johnson to announce a Cardinals draft pick!

But – there was a tall person with a huge smile wearing his favorite Cardinals jersey missing in all of the pictures.

The Police Motorcycles were very impressive at the State Memorial – all lined up with their flashing lights and then roaring through the crowd at the beginning of the ceremony.

But – there was a voice missing in the crowd.  Davey would have had several clever remarks about the ‘Las Vegas family’ showing up which would have had all of us chuckling – all the while making sure we knew how proud he was of his brothers and sisters in Blue.

A large number of our extended family ran in the ‘Glasser Group’ at Pat’s Run.  Such a great cause!  Many of them also ran with my grandson in the kid’s run.

Because someone very important was missing.  Davey ran next to his son last year.

I was ‘strolling’ my granddaughter through the huge crowd at Pat’s Run, trying to find the ‘Glasser Group’.  I realized I was looking over the crowd because I could always find Davey – his head popped up out of every crowd.

But I couldn’t find him….

My grandson was called up on the mound at his baseball game to pitch.  That was an exciting moment – especially when his team has kids that are 2 years older on it.

And then my heart remembered another boy who loved to play baseball and he loved to pitch.  He really liked being in the middle of every play and he didn’t mind the pressure.  Davey chose basketball over baseball as he got older even though he was a very good baseball player.

We are getting ready to jump on a plane heading to Washington, DC. for Police Week.  Our immediate family has taken lots of trips together – all over the United States as well as London, Spain and Italy.  Davey loved to travel.  When he was 12 years-old, we were going to Hawaii for 2 weeks and he was jumping around the house the day before, asking if we could leave now.  I told him he was going to have to wait.  He said, “What if I just can’t wait?”  I smiled so he knew the answer and started jumping around some more.

Those of you who loved the Cardinals with Davey saw a glimpse of this 12 year-old boy on ‘Man Christmas’ – opening day of the NFL – and whenever you tailgated with him and sat by him at the games.

My grandson now carries on this legacy of jumping and dancing in a frenzy of anticipation when exciting things are going to happen.

That makes me happy…..and sad.

The roller coaster ride.

I know many of you are riding the ups and downs right beside us.  Thank you.  Love you!

We better strap in – it’s going to be a long ride.



6 responses to “It’s a Ride….”

  1. Judy and Dave ~ I cry every time while reading each story you share. I can only imagine the awful pain of this roller coaster ride. I admire your strength and your faith and love for GOD. Wish there was a way to bring your son back. He can never be replaced. Praying for you and the families in BLUE. Cindy Clark


    1. Thanks for your prayers. Love you!


  2. Andrea Austin Avatar
    Andrea Austin

    Beautiful woman – We have not met in person and I did not have the privilege to know Davey. A lot of friends are with Phoenix, my man is with Peoria. As a “boy mom” however, your words, every time, speak into my heart. And bring tears to my eyes. I just love you. And I thank you for sharing your heart. Your broken heart. Your full heart. Your LOVING heart. We are privileged to be on the journey with you. In Jesus’ name, we press on. With great love!


    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement, Andrea💙 It is really helpful knowing that our Blue Family is standing beside us. Thank you for your love and prayers💙💙


  3. Denise Sowers Avatar
    Denise Sowers

    I have also been on this ride and even though that “HOLE” never goes away . The extreme peaks and valleys of this ride eventually gets better


    1. I’m counting on that, Denise💙💙


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