Stepping on Landmines

I’m meeting new people –

who don’t know about the tragedy that blew my life apart 17 months ago when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

My husband and I have just moved into a new community an hour away from our old home.  And we’re starting to get to know our neighbors –

who don’t know.

So I am having regular ‘getting to know you’ conversations and people just don’t realize the landmine they are stepping on when they ask me if I have any children.

Yes, I want people to know me and I want them to know about Davey and his death.  It’s just a very tough thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation with someone I barely know.

Depending on the emotions rolling through my heart that day, talking about Davey can start the tears rolling down my face.  That’s a real conversation stopper.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to talk about Davey and all the great things about him.  But some times on some days, there are very strong emotions tied to this subject.   When emotions make the situation feel awkward, I change the subject as soon as I can and talk about my daughter and son-in-law who are having their first child in February.  Babies always bring smiles.

This experience has taught me a couple of things about ‘getting to know you conversations’.  They are not as superficial as they seem.  Most people have various bruised and tender spots in their lives that can be difficult to talk about.  We can’t avoid the landmines because they are often a central part of a person’s life and it needs to be included in who we are.  So we share the hurt and we share the emotion and we share the awkwardness.

And – in the end – we know each other a little better.

That’s a good thing.

#8144loveyou

7 thoughts on “Stepping on Landmines

  1. Judy,
    I can’t imagine what goes through your mind in determining answers to some of these questions, but as an outsider looking in, this blog may be the best answer you could give the new acquaintances. You have shared the most insightful, raw, yet inspirational aspects of David’s life. I’m grateful for your truthful and sometimes painful stories. So, maybe print out cards listing David’s name and your blog and hand them out to your new acquaintances. They will soon know you better, but they will truly know David’s story through you. Realizing it’s sometimes painful (I envy your strength), but l am so thankful you have shared David with us. Love you 💙

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  2. I can always feel the emotion in your writings & they leave me feeling less alone. You are helping several people, Davey would be proud.
    Jacki B.

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    • Thank you for you encouragement. I know there are many reasons that God asked me to share this journey and one of them is so people don’t feel so alone in these dark and tough times. Love you💙💙

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  3. I too have lost a son. If asked if I have any children I always say “one son lives in Denver and my oldest in heaven”. It has been 4 + since losing my son and it doesn’t get easier. Hugs to any parent that has lost a child.

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  4. I love the transparency when you write Judy. I feel human when I read your blogs. You’re absolutely right when you said “most people have bruised and tender spots in their lives that can be difficult to talk about.” This is so true for everyone. There was a time where I wouldn’t talk to anyone if it meant I talked about my bruises and my past. I would have rather stay away from any relationship if It meant getting to know someone or someone getting to know me. No one can mend our hearts when there is tragedy involved, nothing can be said to change the circumstance or to bring the life of a loved one back to earth. Your faith in Christ and your son’s faith he shared which appeared evident in his life as a police officer and I am sure in his personal life; has given me hope and has spoken to my heart tremendously. Your blogs seem to comfort my heart at the perfect time. Thank you.

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