There is a cost.
There is a commitment.
Love leaves a mark.
The cost is being more concerned about another person than you are about yourself. What I want is not the most important thing when I love someone.
Commitment means loving this person even when they are unlovable. Sometimes it means offering help and other times it means drawing boundaries.
Loving someone well takes a lot of energy and patience, wisdom and understanding. Loving people well is a lot of work. And it leaves a mark.
I have discovered that this mark doesn’t go away after someone we love dies. This mark is permanent and never leaves us.
David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016. The mark he left was an unusual kind of love. It was an outspoken love – a love that broke some boundaries that we can set up as adults. He said ‘love you’ often and you knew he meant it by how he included you and had fun with you and was loyal to you. You knew there was a commitment being made when he said ‘love you”, it wasn’t just something he said.
The mark he has left is big. The potential of his mark is huge. We have already started discovering that potential by continuing his work in breaking down some boundaries we have as adults in loving each other. More hugs. More caring. Saying it and showing it.
The cost is giving up some of our ‘separateness’ and actually caring for people around us. The cost is taking our eyes off of ourselves long enough to see someone else that needs a hug or a hand. The cost is letting others love us, knowing that this love will leave a mark. It will change us.
The commitment is not giving up even when its tough or strange or even a little weird. Yes, weird. If you’ve been really trying to love others, you know what I mean. The commitment is setting love as a priority and letting other things that we always used to think were important slide down the list.
If I were to draw a picture of the mark Davey has left on us, it would not be a heart. It would be a magic wand. Because love has magical qualities that cannot be explained.
Love changes things. Love brings light into the darkness. Love soothes pain and sadness and loneliness.
Love can change the world.
Davey’s love has left a mark on us. What are we doing with it?