left behind.

The list of things that I’ve done that I thought I would never do has grown very long since May 19, 2016.  A couple of years ago it felt very strange to be buying a plot in the cemetery next to my son. David Glasser was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  Now that Davey had a plot, it felt right to have a spot next to him for my husband and my cremated remains when that day comes.

We also planted a tree next to our spot.  That first summer of visiting cemetery and cleaning Davey’s spot was brutal.  Hot and horrible.  I felt I really needed a tree out there to provide some shade.  So we bought some more plots and planted one.

And the tree died.  Why was I not surprised?  A dead tree fit right in with the pain and loss I was feeling.

The good news is that the second tree we planted is thriving and starting to provide some much needed shade.  I used to wonder why I felt such a strong need for a tree….until I saw the movie, “The Shack”.  Have you seen it?  Now I know why I wanted a tree.

Spoiler alert – in the movie, they planted the seed of a tree on top of his daughter’s grave.  When they watered it with the father’s tears, it miraculously immediately grew into a big, beautiful, green tree.

Awesome!  Life!  In a place where we remember those who have died.  I’m so glad we have a tree by our spot.

My husband and I have moved to Denver but we recently visited Phoenix and stopped by Davey’s spot to clean it.  He’s not there but it’s a great place for remembering.  While I cleaned, I prayed.  I prayed for our family, our extended ‘family’ which includes his squad and I pray for the families of the other fallen officers who are buried close to Davey.  There have been so many tears in this place.

Looking around the cemetery, I was reminded of all the people I love who are already in heaven.

I really miss my mom.  She was so much fun and such an amazing Christian woman!  My father was a good Christian man who died when I was 21 years-old so I never got to know him as an adult.  My stepfather was also a good man who married my mother on her 70th birthday.  He was a fantastic grandfather to my children.   My oldest brother was 13 years older than me and went to heaven a couple of years ago.  He was the one who walked me down the aisle.  They are all in heaven.

I have been blessed with a strong, Christian background so my grandparents are all in heaven along with a large number of my aunts, uncles and cousins.

And now my son.

He is there.  And there are times when I have an overwhelming feeling of being left behind.  Don’t worry.  There’s no need to call a hotline 🙂  I’ll be here until God decides differently.

But there are days when I am homesick.  Home is where my Father God is.  Home – where there are no viruses, disappointments or problems.  No grief.  No pain.  Home – the number of people I love who are already home is growing.

It is our home because Jesus redeemed our lives.  He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.  He is the Way to heaven.  He is the Truth here on earth.  And the Life he gives us doesn’t end here.

If you haven’t made the choice to trust in Jesus, there is no better time than now.  Tomorrow may be too late.

Davey and I would really like for you to join us someday in heaven…

He is already there.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou