May is coming quickly and it’s a tough month for me. My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty in May 2016. His official End of Watch is May 19 but, if you’ve read my blogs you know I often use May 18th because he was gone by the time I saw him in the hospital. Machines kept his body functioning until the next day so we could say goodbye and he could fulfill his wish of being an organ donor. But the awesome son, husband, father, brother and friend that we all knew was not in that hospital bed.

May 18th will forever be the worst day of my life. We always do something to commemorate May 19th which works for me because the worst day – May 18th – is behind me by then.

And, of course, my Blue Family knows that May 15th is Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Day. So 4 days before Davey’s official E.O.W we are remembering and honoring all of our fallen heroes. So many men and women have died serving their communities. Too many families are going through the nightmare we are going through. So many lives blown apart.

I’m sure you can start to understand why May is a specially hard month for me.

The good news is that this is all followed by my wedding anniversary with Dave, my husband, on May 23. Forty years. We were supposed to be celebrating this year on a cruise through the Greek Isles but you know what happened to that plan. I’m grateful that our anniversary is at the end of May. It is a light at the end of the tunnel by giving us something positive to celebrate. It is an accomplishment to be proud of, especially because together we have survived the worst thing that can happen to a parent. It reminds us that our marriage has been one of our anchors in the continuing storm of missing Davey.

This year my husband and I are going to Washington, DC and plan to spend several hours at the Law Enforcement Officers Memorial on May 15. I know Police Week has moved to October this year and I’m happy about that for the first year survivors from last year and this year. They need Police Week.

I just need to spend a couple of hours on the 15th in the afternoon by my son’s name at the memorial. 38 – W:30. That’s where I’ll be. If you are in town, please stop in, I would love to meet you. Thomas Yoxall – I’ll be looking for you.

One of the main things that has helped me keep moving forward through the roller coaster of pain and grief that has defined my life these last almost 5 years is getting as close to God as I possibly can. God remains my Rock as he shows me how to survive with a heart that was smashed on May 18, 2016. I spend many hours each week with my Bible open on my lap, listening and talking to God.

The number of those hours with my Father will be going way up in May.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.