My Only Fear

It used to be that my only fear was that something bad would happen to one of my children.

And then the worst happened on May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

When I was younger, I had a lot of fears – my parents dying, something bad happening to me, and more.  As I grew older, I experienced all of the things I was fearful of and God walked me through each experience so I found I wasn’t scared of it any longer.

I was left with just that one fear – something bad happening to one of my children.

Then, 6 years before Davey’s death, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer! This was bad.

But it was caught early and it was thyroid cancer which is usually contained.  Surgery was successful and I thought my worst fear had been faced.  I was good.  Nothing else was going to happen to one of my children.

I was obviously very wrong.

Being afraid of it didn’t keep it from happening.  I have found fear to be a waste of energy and time.  Nothing good is going to come from it.  Fear messes up our minds as it messes up our attitudes.  I believe fear comes directly from Satan – he loves to keep us down, keep us worried, scared of our own shadows.

Fear is not going to keep bad things from happening.

If you read my blogs regularly, you have heard this from me before – the question is not ‘if’ something bad is going to happen to you, it’s ‘when’.

I have realized that my thinking one bad experience for my children was going to keep them from another bad experience was wrong.  There will be more – for them, for me and for other people I love.

So I must prepare for tough things to happen without being scared of them.  How do I do that?

As you can imagine, I’ve read a lot of different ideas about this through these last 5 years.  I found that the most helpful words of advice came from God through his Word.  Asking for wisdom in my reaction to the tough stuff has worked.  Wisdom such as making sure my response to the negative is positive and helpful to me and to others has worked.  Building my perseverance through growing my relationship with God has worked.  Finding purpose in the pain has worked.  You’ll find all of this advice in the first chapter of the book of James in the Bible.

So I am no longer scared.  I am prepared.

Because fear does not keep bad things from happening.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

2 thoughts on “My Only Fear

  1. I always had the same fear… that something would happen to my children or grandchildren. I Prayed ever night for their safety and I thanked God for such a precious gift he had given me, then on 11/27/17 my 2 month old granddaughter died unexpectedly. Still grieving her death 6 1/2 months later my son’s EOW was 7/9/18. These are things you never get over and thank God for the precious time you did have with them and know you will be reunited with them one Glorious Day in Heaven.

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    • So sorry to hear this. I know it’s even more difficult when we lose people close together. My husband’s father died two weeks before Davey was killed. It seemed like the world had gotten very dark and the grief was endless. It’s so important to remember that life is short. Those of us left behind still have work to be done.💙💙

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