and a little darker.

The pain becomes a little stronger.  It becomes increasingly harder not to focus on what I have lost – all that my family has lost.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty May 18, 2016.  My journey since then has been a constant struggle.  And this struggle intensifies during the holidays when happy memories haunt my days.  Davey is 7 in this picture and our daughter, Katie, is 3.  They were both so excited about Christmas!

Sometimes I find myself wishing that the holidays were over.

I know many of you share my feelings.  Since I’ve had this very public and tragic loss in my life, more people have been telling me about their own heartbreaks and the losses they have experienced.  And others haven’t talked about it but I can see the private pain in your eyes when we talk about the tragedy that happened to me.

We both know the struggle, we share the struggle – especially at Christmas.

So I force my attention away from my grief and focus on all the blessings God is giving me right now –  my four grand darlings are at the top of that list.  They are so precious and they easily distract me from thinking about all I have lost.

One of the several life-changing lessons I have learned from this tragedy is just how short our lives can be and how quickly someone can be gone.  So the hole in my life reminds me that I need to make the most of the opportunities I have now with the people that are still here.  This is not the time to get stuck in yesterday.  I have new memories to make because there is no guarantee that we’ll have tomorrow together here on earth.

You and I also shouldn’t ignore the difficult days that so many people around us are experiencing this time of year.  I read that these weeks leading up to Christmas have the highest rate of suicide across our nation.

That is so wrong.

So I pray for those of us who are feeling additional pain and loss during this tough season.  And I am trying to be extra patient and kind to people in my world these next couple of weeks – on the freeway, at the store, in the parking lots.  Many of them are struggling and I don’t want to add to the difficulties they have in their lives.  Some of them aren’t even being very nice because of the stress the holidays are causing in their lives.

Can each of us think of a way we can reach out helping hands to others who are not enjoying ‘the most wonderful time of the year’?

And please join me in praying for a little more peace on earth during this holiday season.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.