You’ll Get Through This

No, I won’t.

One of the many things people have said to me since the death of my son, David Glasser, is ‘you’ll get through this’. Davey was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

A new friend I was talking to this week said that it was great that I had God walking beside me to help me get through this. The first part of that comment is very true- God has been awesome- he is my Rock and Comforter. But the last words in that statement are not correct. I replied, “I have realized that I’m not ‘getting through’ this.”

I have figured out that we don’t ‘get through’ the death of one of our children. There is no ‘other side’ of this situation where we breathe a sigh of relief because we are ‘through’ it.

When our child dies, we never move out of it. We have to move forward but we take our broken hearts with us. We live in it. Every day.

Why is this so different from when my mother and father passed away?

I know what it is.

I always knew that there would be a time in my life when my parents would pass away. I expected a portion of my life would be without my parents.

Not so with Davey.

Davey is supposed to be here, right now. He was supposed to be making my husband and me smile as we grow old. He should be filling our calendars with the next fun thing. Making jokes. Surrounding himself with friends and family – helping everyone have a good time.

There were times in Davey’s life where I felt like his social director. I would be organizing and helping with details in the background while Davey was the front man – gathering people together and having a great time with them. He always appreciated my help and I loved seeing him living life to the full. He was such a great person to be around.

I know you feel like this if you have lost a child – I should have gone first. That’s the right order. What happened is not the right order. And the pain of this reality does not go away. I’m not going to ‘get over’ this because the fact that he is gone from this earth when he should be here is not going to change.

The hole he left doesn’t get smaller, it actually gets bigger as he misses more Mother’s Days, Father’s days, birthdays and more Christmases.

Davey was a huge family man. He was always a part of what was going on. He flew to Maryland for his sister’s graduation with her masters degree, he flew to Pennsylvania several times to spend time with his last living grandmother and grandfather. He flew to Denver when his sister moved there to check out her new place. He kept track of his dad and I, making sure we were taken care of. If something was happening with our family, he was right in the middle of it.

All of that was lost the day a bullet took his life. Wiped away. It isn’t happening, it’s not going to happen, it will never happen again.

So, no….

I’m not going to ‘get through’ this.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

8 responses to “You’ll Get Through This”

  1. I couldn’t have said it better. My son has been gone 10 years. And no we don’t get over it, we take it with us every day. I can’t help but think of how the justice system failed my son. How could the perp have danced around and laughed after he killed my son. And how he turned around and laughed at me during the arraignment. The justice system failed my son as it has so many others in this profession. Those are things that I struggle with daily. I was angry with the Lord for a long time. I have since made peace with the Lord so that one day I might see him again♥️♥️. Anytime you need a listening ear, I am here. 💙♥️

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    1. Thank you, Tabbie. So sorry to hear about your experience with the justice system. In this whole terrible tragedy, we were fortunate that the young man who killed Davey was shooting wildly so he was also killed at the scene. Glad you have made peace with God. He is my Solid Rock and my comforter💙💙

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  2. Well said! However, as a Believer (Follower of Jesus Christ) , God – through His Holy Word (Bible) – promises all Believers of being reunited in Glory with all other Believers. It’s often referred to as the promised hope for Christians (Believers). Meanwhile, Christians do grieve for those we’ve lost but God’s grace , mercy & comfort attends us on our earthly pilgrimage.

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  3. God is with us every step of our journey thankfully! Without God I am not sure how we could get through these trials and tribulations. Thinking of you with love Judy and Dave. 💙💙💙

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    1. Thank you, Cindy. Love you💙💙

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  4. Brilliantly worded! You nailed it. If I were to lose my son, I am sure I would feel the same way. God IS with us but that pain does not disappear and we cannot “get through it.” Praying for you!

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Laura, and your prayers.💙💙

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