I’m sure I’ll be saying this the rest of my life so don’t be surprised if you hear this from me again.  I’m still a little amazed by how much I have learned about love these last 2 1/2 years since David Glasser, my son who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

I’ve been on earth quite awhile and I’m a believer, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend, so I thought I knew a quite a about love.  But I had never before experienced the ‘magic’ that can happen when people love each other in the middle of a tragedy that has blown all of our lives apart.

It has convinced me that love is the answer.   Love is supernatural.

I’m surprised that there is so much more to love that I thought.  I’ve studied love – our love for each other and God’s love.  One of the books I read, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman helped me learn how to improve in how I show love to my husband, my children and other important people in my life.  If you haven’t read it, you’re missing out on some very helpful information.

We have different ‘love languages’.  I had figured out my love language all on my own early in my marriage.  My husband was great at saying, “I love you” but I often didn’t feel very loved when he didn’t help me with the laundry or cleaning or emptying the dishwasher.  So I told him that he could say he loved me all he wanted, but I didn’t ‘feel’ it unless he was also helping me with all these other things.  I’m glad to say that he got much better at helping me and I began to feel his love.  Later, when I read this book, I realized my love language is ‘Acts of Service”.

What I hadn’t figured out before reading the book was the fact that other people have different love languages.  After I read it, I realized my husband had two love language – Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.  So I adjusted my behavior to try to make sure he was feeling loved as well.

What is significant is the fact that, before reading this book, I thought he felt love like I did so I did things to show I loved him.  I helped him out as much as I could.  That was fine, but that’s not how he felt loved.  He felt loved when he spent time with me and when I point out good things about him with words.

We miss the mark when we show love the same way we feel love.  We are all different.

And our children are different.  I realized one of Davey’s love languages was ‘Receiving Gifts’ when he was about 7 or 8 years-old.  Gifts at his birthday and Christmas were very important to him.  He studied the gifts under the Christmas tree, counting them and trying to figure out what they were.  I was not surprised last weekend when I found Micah, Davey’s son, doing the same thing in front of my Christmas tree.  Similar personalities often have similar love languages.

“Receiving Gifts’ was just one of Davey’s love languages – it was a visual representation of people’s love for him.  This love language was more prominent when he was young.  As he grew older, his other love language of ‘ Quality Time’ became more obvious.  Davey led a very busy life spending time with people he loved.  He was always planning the next trip, the next tailgate, the next party – whatever it took for him to spend time with people he loved.

If he loved you, you knew it.

Let’s all make that our goal this Christmas – to make sure the people we love know and feel that we love them.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

Here are some pictures of Davey’s 16th Birthday party.  The party was obviously “mom’s” idea.  Even though everyone was a little ‘too cool’ for a birthday party, Davey loved being surrounded by his friends.

Hope.

Hope is the knowledge that there are good things coming.  It’s a light shining in the darkness of our current circumstances.

It’s one of the most important gifts that can be given to someone who has just experienced a tragedy.

My memory of events immediately after May 18, 2016 are somewhat foggy and there are holes.  That was the day David Glasser, my son who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.  There is a haze of pain and grief over all of my memories of that time.  But there are also many bright spots that shine through the haze and two of the shining spots I remember are gifts of hope.

I was reminded of the first gift when our good friend, Chaplain Bob Fesmire, stopped by our house last week to give us a very special gift for Christmas.  It’s a beautiful advent wreathe which Bob handmade for us.  Exquisite!  It has already become a family heirloom which we will pass down within our family.  We lit the first candle for the first week of advent last Sunday with Micah and Eden.

The first candle represents hope so we talked about hope with our grand darlings.  I don’t think its a coincidence that the first week of this marvelous advent wreathe given to us by Bob represents hope.  Because he gave me hope during the long night in the hospital as we watched Davey’s brain waves disappear.  Chaplain Bob prayed for us and loved us, helping us stay grounded in the love of God through the very painful night.  He gave me hope as he reminded me of the truth of God – that he loves us and would walk closely with us down the extremely tough path that was before us.  Chaplain Bob provided a spark of hope in a night that was filled with hopelessness.  Thank you, Chaplain Bob.

I was recently reminded of another bright spot of hope that shone through the pain and confusion of those first few days after Davey was killed.  The day after we came home from the hospital, we had to start planning the funeral.  I offered to have the discussion at my house and expected 4 to 5 officers to show up.  We actually had more like 15 to 20 officers coming and going throughout this process of planning our part of the funeral.  It was chaos – especially for people who were in shock over what had happened the last 2 days.  I understand that it had to be done because so much planning goes into these funerals.  The word ‘totally overwhelmed’ doesn’t do a good job of describing the feelings I had during those several hours.

Right at the end of the planning, Angela Harrolle, the CEO of the 100 Club came and presented a check to Kristen to help with any financial needs that might come up in the near future.  Angela shared that her husband had been killed in the line of duty 7 years before and her children had been around the same age of Davey’s children were when their father was killed.  That’s when I started staring at her.  She was the first family member I had met who had gone through what we were going through.

She looked healthy and happy.   At a time when I didn’t know if I would ever smile again, she smiled when she spoke of her children.  She was also the CEO of the 100 club.  She had figured out a way to move forward from the tragedy and she was working hard to help others.

Angela gave me a gift that day.  I remember saying to myself, “If she can do it, we can do it.”   There was hope.  Thank you, Angela.

There is always hope.

We are reminded of that when we light the first advent candle.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

 

 

 

I could never have imagined.

When my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty, I had no idea what it meant to be a part of the Blue Family.  Davey was good at not talking ‘shop’ when he was off duty.  I had met most of his squad members and their wives because Davey and Kristen would regularly invite them over to their house for fight night and some poker.  He would invite his dad and I, too, so we got to know his cop friends.

I knew they were a good bunch of people but I never understood how really great our Blue Family is………until the day.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when Kristen called me as I drove home from work.  She was crying and told me Davey had been shot.   I immediately started shaking and had trouble comprehending what she was saying.  Byrd, Davey’s best friend on his squad, took over the call and realized I wasn’t far from the hospital.  So he told me to drive to the hospital, pull into the emergency area, tell the first police officer I saw who I was and give them my car keys.  They would take me upstairs.

I had to focus really hard as I drove to the hospital because a million thoughts were swirling through my head.  I didn’t have any trouble finding a police officer as I pulled into the emergency driveway – the roads around the hospital were already lined with police vehicles and there were police officers everywhere.  They were expecting me so I handed over my keys and someone took me upstairs.

I did not know at that time that I was actually being taken right into the center of the Blue Family.  Significant things in my life had already started changing – I would never be the same.  There was a lot of pain and grief ahead.  But there was also a whole new crowd of great people in my Blue Family who were going to enter my world.

I didn’t know then that I was going to meet hundreds of police officers who would all say these kinds of things:

‘Let me know if you ever need anything.’

“I’m always here for you.”

“Never forget that I’m here to help – let me give you my cell number.’

‘Just let me know whenever I can help.”

Yesterday, the David Glasser Foundation had our 2018 Shop with a Cop event.  Over 50 police officers volunteered to shop in Target with kids from a high-risk area of Phoenix to help them pick out gifts for their entire family for Christmas.  Several of these officers came straight over to the event from their night shift.  When I thanked them for coming, they thanked me in return for giving them a chance to be part of this fun event and part of what the David Glasser Foundation is doing.  And they said things like,

“Let me know if you ever need anything.  I’m here for you.”

“Please let me know when you need more volunteers.  I’ll be here.  Here’s my number.”

This is our Thin Blue Line.  People who care and are willing to go a lot of extra miles to prove it.  People who work hard at making a difference.  People who remember.  People who want to help honor Davey by continuing the work he started.

We had just as many civilian volunteers at the event helping kids get signed in, wrapping gifts, serving Peter Piper Pizza and taking pictures with Santa.  This is our Blue Family – it includes all those who love and support the Thin Blue Line.

After the Shop with a Cop event, my family participated in the annual COPS (Concerns of Police Survivors) Christmas party.  It was great food and great fun but the most significant thing to me was seeing this very large room filled with people. Yes, we had survived.  Our lives had all been changed by a line of duty death.  In spite of our differences, we had a lot in common.  And – once again – we were being supported by our Blue Family through COPS.

Three years ago I didn’t know very much about my Blue Family.

Now I can’t imagine going through these last 2 1/2 years without them.

Love you, Blue Family!

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

It has been one very long string of losing one thing after another.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  Since that day, I have been in a constant process of losing things that connect me back to the time he was alive.  And each loss hurts.  Each loss touches the places that are broken in my heart.

I don’t think it’s ever going to stop.  My husband and I lived very close to Davey and his family the last 5 years of his life.  That was a huge blessing.  It also caused our lives to be closely interwoven with each other – many, many connections.

And I’ve been painfully losing these connections to Davey – one by one – these last 2 1/2 years.

I know there are many connections that I will never lose.  These connections are with Kristen and Micah and Eden.  They are with my family, Davey’s friends, his squad and our blue family.    God has richly blessed me with these important relationships and I am very grateful for them.

I will never lose the great memories and fun times we had with Davey.  I will always treasure those.

All of this does not take away the grief of losing each thing, one after another.  Most recently, Davey and Kristen’s first dog, Scout, died.  They bought him right after they got married when they heard that their apartment accepted dogs.  Then they discovered that the apartment accepted one-year-old dogs, but not puppies.  My husband and I looked at our first little grand puppy and had no other option than to keep him at our house for a couple of months until Davey’s lease was up and they could get a different apartment.

Of course, this also meant that we house trained Scout.  He was a smart little Jack Russell but he didn’t catch on as quickly as I had hoped.  I remember he and I having several heated discussions over puddles on my tile.

Scout was there through every stage of Davey and Kristen’s marriage.  Scout adjusted as they adopted more dogs which were 100 pounds larger than him but he never gave up his alpha dog status.  He moved with them through first apartments and then the house they built and on to another home.  He was there to welcome their two babies home and loved the toddlers even when they tried to pull his tail.  Tears roll down my face as I remember how much Davey loved to throw Scout’s ball high and watch him fly across the room to catch it.

We have lost so much.

So now Scout is gone.  One more thing.  One more connection to how life was before Davey died.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

 

 

Tomorrow is my son’s birthday.

David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  Tomorrow he would have been 37 years-old.

He’s not here to celebrate with us but I am still celebrating.   I am thankful for every day that he was on this earth.

The common-held idea that good people die young is very appropriate in this situation.  Davey was one of the good guys and its hard to ignore the big hole his death has left in my life.  I am frequently reminded of the painful gap between what is and what should be.  His future was something I really looked forward to.  His dreams became my dreams for him as he grew and matured into a man with integrity who cared about the people in his community and city.

I will never forget, on his first day of life, there was an Air Quality Alert going on for the city of Phoenix.  As I held my newborn son in my arms, I looked out at the foggy sky through my hospital window and wondered if it was wise it was to bring a child into a world where the air we breathe is polluted.

Since then, I have found that there are far worse things than air pollution.  The evil that lives in the hearts of people who prowl our neighborhoods is what is really dangerous.  The anger and rebellion and lack of respect that defines the lives of some of the people driving down our streets is much more lethal than the air.  Lately we’ve been watching this anger and evil explode in mass shootings of innocent people.  Unfortunately, it will only get worse until our elected city  officials and the people of our city give our law enforcement officers the respect they deserve, staff our law enforcement agencies correctly, pay our law enforcement officers well and give the officers the tools they need to do their jobs right.

Why haven’t we learned this lesson yet?

I couldn’t have known 37 years ago that my son would decide to part of the solution to the problems in our culture and in our city.  Davey loved being a Police Officer because it put him right up close and personal with the people choosing evil and unsafe behaviors.  And it put good people behind his gun and behind his back, away from the danger.

I’m proud of being a part of the Blue Family which stands for courage, honor and sacrifice.

Davey stood tall for all three.

Happy Birthday tomorrow, Davey!  Miss you.

#8144loveyou

It’s exciting!

It’s the next step in the dream.

It’s gonna happen in February 2019 –

The frist David Glasser Foundation Basketball League.

It’s happening in Laveen where David Glasser, my son and a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

This is the start of the big dream God gave us of having David Glasser Foundation sports leagues and tournaments across the valley providing a service to our communities.   These sports events will also offer opportunities for Police Officers to grow positive relationships with people in the communities they serve.

Next year starts off with a spring DGF Basketball League followed by the 1st Annual DGF Flag Football Tournament in March and then, in the fall, another DGF Basketball League.

A whole year of sports!  Davey just got out his basketball and is hitting the court in heaven for a pick-up game!

You probably have heard how much Davey loved sports – all of them.  He was a super fan of the Cardinals and the Diamondbacks and all ASU sports.  He played baseball and basketball as a kid and decided to focus on basketball when he moved into Junior High.  He was a coach’s player because he played consistently well every game.  After retiring from the Police force, he planned to get his teaching certificate and teach at the high school level while coaching – probably basketball. And probably in a high-risk area of Phoenix because that was just who he was.  He really cared about the areas of our city which are struggling and he understood basketball very well.  He also understood all of the life skills that sports can give a kid when they are coached well.

Davey never got the chance to fulfill that dream of being a coach.  So the David Glasser Foundation is picking up his dream and providing opportunities for kids in high risk areas of Phoenix to receive the good coaching and great life skills which will help them get on  the road to success in their personal lives.

We are looking forward to partnering with Laveen Youth Sports, a non-profit group in Laveen which has been running successful sports leagues there for several years.

We are planning to grow our leagues and, through sports and our police officer volunteers,  have a positive influence on the lives of a lot of kids and their parents for many years to come.

It’s Davey’s dream on a larger scale.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

Parts of his funeral are foggy to me and other parts are crystal clear.  I will never forget sitting in the front row of the huge church auditorium packed to the rafters with family, friends and police officers and their wives.  As I sat there with thousands of people sitting behind me, I felt strong waves of grief rolling over the crowd.  That was one of the experiences that helped me understand how many people were affected by Davey’s death.

This was much bigger than family and friends and people who knew him.  This was my whole big blue family grieving.  I had never experienced that amount of serious grief and pain in one room.

Unbelievable.

The speakers at his funeral were awesome and I appreciated everything people shared.

I did not expect to be surprised by a few things that people talked about.  I knew Davey well and spent a ton of time with him.  As his mother, I thought I knew all about him.  But two things that were shared were not things I expected.

One of them is Davey’s Legacy of Love – he made a big deal out of saying ‘love you’ to his squad members before he left on a call and he would stand there, waiting for them to say it back to them.  I knew Davey always said it to me, I just didn’t know that it was the last thing that he said to everyone that he cared about in his life.  I didn’t know that he had his whole squad of tough police officers saying it to each other before they left on a call.  I also didn’t know at the time of his funeral how Davey’s legacy of love was going to totally change the journey we have been on since that day.  Love is the answer.  I’ve shared that many times with you and I’ll probably keep saying it until the day I leave this earth for home.

The other thing that surprised me was how many of the speakers talked about Davey sharing his faith.  I shouldn’t be surprised because he had a very strong faith.   I just never heard him sharing his faith with other people so I didn’t realize he talked about God as much as he did.  Now I realize that, if he cared about you and he wasn’t sure you believed in Jesus, he would bring it up….often.  In fact, he didn’t let the subject die, he kept talking about it.  He would challenge his friend’s beliefs and unbelief.

How awesome!  It’s just another reason why I’m proud of the man Davey was.  Davey accepted Jesus as his Savior as a child and continued to grow in his faith through the rest of his life.  In this picture, Davey and my husband, Dave, are at a Promise Keeper’s Christian Men’s Rally.  Promise Keepers taught men all about living a life of integrity and keeping their promises.  Davey learned that lesson very well – those of you who knew him already were aware of that.

God provided a great church family for us which was the village that helped grow Davey’s faith.  Davey went to church camp and mission trips every year – living out his faith and having a great time doing it.  This picture is of one of the groups of kids that went on a church mission trip when Davey was in high school.  He is in the back row next to Jay Van Gelder who spoke at his funeral.  And Kristen is in the front row.  We had no idea that they would marry not too many years after this picture was taken.

Davey sets a good role model for those of us who believe.  We need to share our faith and what we know to be true – and we need to keep sharing it.

And do it all while we love people.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

It’s a sign that things are just getting started.

It’s a sign that one man who cared can make a difference.

It’s a sign that David Glasser’s legacy of love is destined to have a permanent effect on the kids who live in Laveen….and beyond.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  He loved being a police officer and he committed his life to helping make the streets of Phoenix a safer place for you and I to live.  He wanted to make a difference by working as one of the good guys, making our communities safer for our kids to play in.  He asked to work in the highest risk areas of Phoenix in order to protect you and me from the dangerous people who prowl the streets of those neighborhoods.

Everyone who drives by this plaque in Laveen is reminded of the day that the City of Phoenix lost a hero.

Last year, the Laveen Elementary School District decided to honor Davey and his memory by naming the athletic field they were building after him.  What a great idea!  Davey loved sports – all of them.  He was a huge fan of the Cardinals, the Diamondbacks and all of the ASU sports teams.  The Cardinals are having a really tough season this year so far and, if Davey were here, he would be talking loud and long about ‘fair weather fans’.  Loyalty was a huge issue for Davey.

Davey played baseball and basketball, focusing on basketball as he got into high school and onto the varsity team.  He knew a lot about sports and planned to become a coach after he retired from the police department.  That’s one of the many dreams which will never come true.

But Davey never dreamed that an athletic complex would be named after him.  And that has come true.  Here’s the sign:

It’s a beautiful complex at 5001 West Dobbins Road in Laveen.  Stop in sometime and take a look.

There is not a more appropriate way to honor Davey than by naming a sports complex after him.  And there is no better place for it than in the middle of the community he died serving.  Kids playing sports on these fields for many years to come will be reminded of a Police Officer who cared enough to work hard in their community to help keep them safe.  His love for his community lives on here at these fields.

It’s a sign that great things are going to happen here and it’s all just getting started.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

It happened yesterday.

I was honored to be asked to share my experience of the line of duty death of my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, at a one-day women’s retreat yesterday.  My family was a part of the church family where the retreat was held for 28 years and this was the village that helped grow Davey and my daughter, Katie.

It was the first time I’ve told this story out loud to a big group of people so I spent a lot of time preparing.  So much has happened, it took a lot of prayer to figure out what to include.

If you read this blog, you have read something about most of the lessons I have learned on this journey so far.  One of them is – the question is not ‘if’ something bad is going to happen to you.  The question is ‘when’.

I don’t share that to scare anyone – it’s just the truth.  We all have our tough times and tragedies.

I have realized that one of the ways God prepared me for the trials surrounding Davey’s death was by challenging me to memorize the first chapter of the book of James from the Bible.  James 1 is wisdom scripture.  God knew I was going to need wisdom and I was going to need it to be readily available when there was no time to consult a Bible.  So, about 1 1/2 years before Davey was killed, God challenged me and I memorized James 1.

You don’t understand what a big deal this is – let me explain.  I have an awful memory.  I’ll confess – even though I’ve known you for a very long time, sometimes I just can’t remember your name.  Don’t ask me to be on your trivia team – you’ll be very disappointed.  I never know who wrote what or who did what or what year it happened.

But God proved to me that I can memorize scripture – with his help.  I write the scripture on index cards and get my cards out hundreds of times and God etches his words onto my brain.  That’s how it works.  It’s a supernatural partnership that is very cool and very obvious to me since my memory is so bad for everything else.

As I was sharing the supernatural part of memorizing James 1 yesterday, it sounded like a bucket-full of rocks was dropped on the roof of the church right above me.  It was so loud that I stopped my story, looked up and asked, “What was that?”

I received answers back like “It started raining”, “It’s the wind” and then someone said, “I think that was Davey.”

Cool.

I didn’t think about it again until later, when a couple of women pointed out to me that it had not started raining and it wasn’t windy.

Was it Davey?

What do you think?

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

It has been two and a half years since my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

The worst happened.

Our worlds exploded.

The first many months a fog of pain and confusion swirled around in our heads each day.  The first year is tough and I think the second year is even worse in some ways.  The permanence of the situation becomes very evident in the second year and is extremely difficult to deal with.

The hole in our lives is growing bigger.  There are more and more events and things Davey is missing.  He should have been there.

But we’re figuring out how forward.  That’s what Davey would have wanted.  God is giving us strength and he is helping us get used to living with the hole.

We have discovered that love is the answer.

Davey left us a legacy of love which is much bigger than the 2 simple words, “Love you”.  The love and care behind those words filled many dark times in our lives these last 2 1/2 years.

Davey knew how important these two words were so he used them with us all the time.  At his funeral, I was surprised to hear that he also used them with his squad all the time – and he was adamant that they say it back to him.  He realized how quickly life could end and he wanted those words to be the last thing anyone he cared about heard him say.

‘Love you’ has transformed our journey because its hard to be bitter when everyone around you is saying they love you.  It’s hard to be angry when you’re surrounded by love.  It’s hard to feel alone when all around you arms of love are reaching out to hug you.

And Davey’s legacy of love is bigger than just us.  His love for our city has motivated the creation of the David Glasser Foundation in order to continue the work Davey started.  His foundation is just getting started but we are already seeing some of our dreams of what the foundation can accomplish in Davey’s name coming true.

And there is much more to Davey’s legacy of love.  Because he loved others so freely, his life and death has affected people across our city.  The ripples of his legacy of love have spread through other families and friends out into other states and across the nation as we come to understand how short life is and how important love is.

Love is a gift from God and Davey gave that gift to all of us.

Thank you, Davey.

Miss you.

#8144loveyou