It’s a nightmare that I will never wake up from.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was shot and killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  The nightmare started that day.

And it hasn’t stopped.

The first several weeks after Davey’s death, I would wake up every morning and hope that it was all a very bad dream.  I would think about what my day would be like if it had not happened.  Davey would probably be dropping by with his son, Micah, sometime during the day to pick up his dad or to drop something off or just to say hi.   If I didn’t see him, I’d probably get a text from Davey about his plans for having some fun and asking if I could help with some part of it.  He was always planning and doing and inviting other people to join in.

But then I had to open my eyes and realize that it had happened.  Davey had died.

He would not be dropping by or texting.

He would never drop by or text me again.  The nightmare had become my reality.  Every day I have to deal with that reality.

I’ve had people who mean well say to me, “It’s gets easier.  It gets better.”

What part gets easier? What part gets better?

I know I’m getting more used to having him gone…..but that’s not easier or better.

My world has a hole  – and it’s a big hole.  It’s a sad hole.  It’s a painful hole.  The hole is evident every day and it’s not going away.

The nightmare is not getting easier, it’s not getting better.

It’s becoming more real.

I am so grateful to my Father God who walks beside me.  He shines his light of love and grace in the hole.  He gives me hope and a purpose.  He wraps his arms around me as tears roll.  He has given me awesome family and friends who love and support me…..

as I live in the nightmare.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou