“Do you have any children?”
It’s a natural, ‘getting to know you’ question asked pretty early on in our first conversations with people. My husband and I moved out of Arizona to the Denver area at the beginning of the pandemic so we have a lot of these ‘meeting new people’ conversations.
I used to be the first person to ask the children question when talking to someone I was just getting to know because I loved to talk about my kids. Now I wait to see if the other person is going to bring it up.
This topic is like stepping on a landmine when I meet people who don’t know about the tragedy that blew my life apart 5 years ago when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.
Yes, I want people to know me and I want them to know about Davey and his life. It’s just a tough thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation with someone I barely know. Depending on the emotions rolling through my heart that day, talking about Davey can start the tears rolling down my face. That’s a real conversation stopper.
So I usually start talking about my daughter and how we are so blessed to live close to her and her family. Depending on how the conversation is going, I make decisions on how much I’m going to share about Davey.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to talk about Davey and all the great things about him. But sometimes on some days, there are very strong emotions tied to this subject. When emotions make the situation feel awkward, I start talking about my beautiful grand darlings – two grandsons and two grand daughters. They always help me smile.
This experience has taught me a couple of things about ‘getting to know you conversations’. They are not as superficial as they seem. Most people have various bruised and tender spots in their lives that can be difficult to talk about. We can’t avoid the landmines because they are often a central part of our lives that need to be included in who we are. So we share the hurt and we share the emotion and we share the awkwardness.
And – in the end – we know each other a little better.
That’s a good thing.
Miss you, Davey.