They Were Wrong

They were wrong.

I cannot tell you how many people told me “The first year is the hardest” after my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

They were all wrong.

I had already lost my mom and my dad and my oldest brother along with all of my grandparents and all of my aunts and uncles….and yes, with those deaths, the first year was the hardest.

But it has not been true with the death of my son.  The first year was the most confusing and unpredictable and foggy.  But each year since then, the hole in my life has grown and all I have lost keeps accumulating as Davey continues to miss his children growing up, he misses getting to know new little members of our family, and misses Christmases and birthdays and Mother’s Days.  Every year there is more.

I’m gradually getting used to the growing hole and the lengthening list of things I have lost.  But it’s not easier.

I think the big difference between my older loved ones dying and Davey being killed is I had expected that there would be a time in my life where my father and mother and older brother and others would not be here.  That is the correct order.  It was going to happen.

But Davey was always supposed to be here.  Every thought of my future included him.  Pictures in my mind of me growing old all included Davey and his smile.  Every future celebration, every milestone, every fun family get together and trip included Davey.  Now he’s not here…..and all that I have lost grows.

So, do me a favor.  Don’t tell a parent who has lost a child that the first year is the hardest.  It’s just not true.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

8 responses to “They Were Wrong”

  1. So sorry for your loss… Your words truly it home for our family as well, as if your writing this from our hearts and souls. Thank you for this part of the “life experience and depth” I look forward to reading more and being able to see the written messages that have just been felt as a drowning pain and loss.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your encouragement. As you can imagine, this is a very hard subject to write about. But if my blogs help anybody with this tough road we are on together, it’s worth it.πŸ’™πŸ’™

      Like

  2. So VERY TRUE!! People please don’t day this!! I they try to help, not wanting us to lingure in pain, although they know it may ease a little from the traumatic day. It will never be easier.. I feel the same, my Sean was in every thought of my future!! I feel him everyday. But not the same. My life will never be the same with out him! Love n. PRAYERS

    Like

    1. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ’™πŸ’™

      Like

  3. I have heard that exact statement from so many adults who have lost a child. No matter what age – losing a child is the most heartbreaking of all. Thinking of you all the time Judy and Dave. Wish you still had Davey alive and healthy. He was a great Son, Daddy, husband, brother, friend, police officer and so much more. It’s very normal to be missing him every single day. Love you.πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™ Cindy Clark

    Like

    1. Love you, CindyπŸ’™πŸ’™

      Like

  4. So very true and well said

    Like

    1. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: