What am I thinking about?

What am I focused on?

I ask these questions when I find myself in a dark place. When I’m sad. When I’m stuck in yesterday. When the list of what I have lost seems way too long.

When my shattered dreams fill my head as the tears drip down my face.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  Those of you who knew him realized that he was unique – he blended integrity and faith with loving people and having a great time in an unusual way.  My husband and I lived 1 1/2 miles away from Davey the last 5 years of his life so we got to spend a lot of time with him and his family. We were very close.

And suddenly – without warning – Davey was gone.

Every day, I am reminded of just how much of the light and joy in my life went with him.

Once a year, as a memorial to Davey, a group of our family and friends visit his spot in the cemetery and release balloons into the sky.  This is a very old tradition reaching back to biblical times when incense was burned so it could combine with the prayers of God’s people as they floated up to heaven.

Every year, as our balloons covered with messages of love rise high into the sky and finally disappear, I am reminded that this is what I need to do.  Look up.  And I invite those of who have experienced a huge loss in your life to join me.

I look up and see the sun shining on all of the blessings God has given me that are still here.

I look up and remember how important sharing messages of love and encouragement are to those of us left behind.

I look up and remember that my prayers – our prayers – go to a God who loves us and who wants the best for us and who can do the impossible.

Looking up has been vitally important to my journey since Davey was killed and I have decided to name the book I’m writing, “Then I Looked Up”. The subtitle is Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love. We are on target to publish it in March and it may be possible to pre-order it.

You will be the first to know!

As this first month of 2023 quickly comes to a close, I encourage all of us to “Look up” to God this year and let him fill our lives with joy, and hope and love.

Miss you, Davey.

Love You.