Month: September 2026

Just One More Time

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  And there are days I just don’t want to.

I don’t want to acknowledge the fact that Davey is gone.

I don’t want to try to find the strength to move forward.

I don’t want to think about the reality that so many other Blue families and friends go through this same nightmare.  Too many.

I don’t want to face the issues that I will have to face as I will spend the rest of my life here on earth without him.

I don’t want to visit his spot in the cemetery – I want to pretend it doesn’t exist.

I want to hear his laugh.

I want to see him smile at his daughter, Eden, and hear him ask her if she wants to play a game.

I want to see him playing basketball in his backyard with Micah and hear him coaching his son on how to improve his shot.

I want to see him playing Cornhole and Washers with his sister and her husband in his big backyard every time they came to visit.

I want to see him in the car with Micah picking up his dad so all the guys could go to Home Depot – they went there ALOT.

I want to see him on his riding lawn mover with his hat and his headphones on, rocking out to tunes while he cuts the grass of the lawn he loves so much.

I want to see him sitting on my couch with our minnie-pin dog stretched over his chest, her head up by his so she can lay there and lick his neck.  She had a big crush on Davey.

I want to hear him talking about which Cardinals away game he and the guys are planning to go to next year.

I want to see him wearing the crazy Cardinals hat I bought him as he tailgates before the game today. 

I want to say “Have a great time at the game” to him one more time.  And then see his eyes light up and a huge smile spread across his face. 

My heart yearns to go back to a time when all these things were possible…….. but my brain knows that’s not going to happen.

Miss you so much, Davey.

Love you.

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst HappensLeave a comment

Don’t Say It

Death.  Loss.  Serious illness.  Tragedy.

When it happens to someone we know, we often don’t know what to say.   We need to say something – it has to be acknowledged or it feels really wrong – the elephant in the room.

We should think about what we’re going to say ahead of time.

I know.  Many people have said weird or not-helpful things while trying to be nice to me since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

When tragedy blew my life apart, many of the people I spoke to afterwards would say ‘So sorry for your loss.”  I used to think that this sounded unoriginal and trite but, after experiencing some of the other things people say, I realize it’s a good option.  When you say this, you are recognizing my loss and sharing an emotion.   I say it myself now.   Actually, I often just say “I’m so sorry” to someone who has just had a loss or tragedy.  They know what I’m referring to – it’s all they can think about.

It’s been over 10 years since Davey was killed and the things people say don’t hurt anymore. I just shake my head at the craziness. Recently, I was talking to a woman about Davey’s death and she said she understood. Her dog just died and it was horrible. Can you imagine my feeling of unbelief that she would compare my son’s death to her dog’s? I didn’t say anything. She just wouldn’t understand.

In the first year after Davey was killed people said some things that hurt. It felt like they were poking at my bruises. Saying these things to someone who recently experienced a tragic death can make a dark day worse:

“There’s always a reason.”  Really?   Am I supposed to be glad he’s gone because there’s a reason?  I should stop crying because it’s all working out great now?

“Time heals all wounds.” Really?  All of this pain and grief is going to go away?   It’s going to turn into a scar that doesn’t hurt anymore?  I  personally think ‘heal’ is the wrong word to use with loss and grief. It’s 9 years later and time has not healed all of my wounds. My heart is broken and I know it’s going to stay broken this side of heaven.

“He’s in a better place.”  My head knows that.  My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and it aches a little bit more when you remind me that he’s not here with us, with me.

What should we say?

“I’m sorry” works. And sharing a good memory of the person that passed or saying something positive about them can add a little ray of light to a dark day for the person you are talking to.

Here’s a great tip- those of us that are left behind love to hear the name of the one we lost. So say their name as often as you can.

Overall, the best advice I have read is in the Bible – Romans 12:15b –

“Weep with those who weep”.

Weep with us.

Weep with me.

Let your heart break for those who are heart-broken.

Hold tightly onto anyone is who is lost in pain and grief.

Give us grace when we are not gracious.

Forgive us when the anger boils over.

Be patient with us when our frustration shows.

Understand that it’s hard to focus sometimes when the emptiness is overwhelming.

Don’t ask us to let you know if there’s anything you can do – if there’s something you want to do, just do it.

Don’t tell us about a different tragedy – your’s or someone else’s.  We are struggling to deal with our own.

Don’t give us advice unless we ask for it.

You really don’t have to say much. Just love us unconditionally, no matter how we respond.

And weep with us.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you💙💙

 

 

 

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst HappensLeave a comment

Continuing What He Started

Davey cared.  He didn’t just say ‘Love you’, he showed it and lived it before he was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

When Davey was 12 years-old he took a summer job as a junior counselor at a Boys and Girls Club in a high-risk area of Phoenix.  He wanted those kids to have a safe summer playing games and having lots of fun.

I will never forget – on his first day of being a counselor, one of the little kids vomited and Davey had to clean it up.  Yuck!  But it was an early lesson about how – when you care – you often find yourself in the middle of the yuck and mess of other’s lives and choices.

What a great lesson for a young man who would later choose to become part of the Thin Blue Line between the innocent and the evil.  He cared and he did something about it.  Everyday as a Police Officer, he stood for what is good and right in our world – pushing back the evil and often ending up in other people’s yuck.  He knew Police Officers weren’t perfect – he wasn’t perfect.  But they are willing to stand for what is safe and right.   They don’t just talk about it or throw some money at it – they are willing to put their lives on the line….because they care.

Davey wanted our community to be a safe place for families to live and kids to play. He requested to work in high-risk areas of the city because the need for people who care is greater there.  The Thin Blue Line has to be stronger there.  He often told me that his goal was to put the people in our city who chose to put other lives in danger behind bars so they couldn’t hurt people anymore.  He received several commendations for his extra efforts against the monsters who beat up on babies and small children.

And he paid the highest price possible for his dedication to caring for his city when he was killed in the line of duty over 10 years ago.

Davey made a significant contribution to his city when he was alive and he has inspired those of us who are left behind to make a difference through the David Glasser Foundation.  We are continuing the work that Davey started. 

You have probably heard that Davey loved sports – all sports.  The disciplined activity of sports helped him grow into a strong and confident and capable adult.  So, in honor of Davey’s love for sports, the David Glasser Foundation is sponsoring youth sports teams throughout the valley. Volunteer police officers and other law enforcement personnel are coaches on these teams, giving the kids and their families an opportunity to have positive interactions with the officers while learning important life skills like respect, dependability, team work and much more.

If the young man who shot Davey had had positive interactions with police officers when he was younger, it’s possible that he would have made a different decision.

Davey’s life on earth has ended but his legacy of love is continuing to unfold.

Thank you for all of the support so many of you have shown for the David Glasser Foundation.  Together, we are continuing the battle.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst Happens2 Comments

You Don’t Understand

On By Judy GlasserIn When the Worst Happens2 Comments

I know its very hard for parents who have not lost a child to understand parents who have. There is nothing that compares to loosing a child. I think losing a spouse is the closest thing and it’s still not like losing a child.

If you want to try to understand and help a parent who has lost a child, one thing you should know is that the statement “Something good will come out of this.” doesn’t help and I’ll tell you why.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016. Davey was one of the good guys who helped people all day and worked hard to take the bad guys off the street his whole career. He was on a trajectory to help the people of Phoenix every day for his first career and then he planned to teach high school and coach basketball. Can you even imagine how many people and how many kids he would have positively affected in his two careers?

That’s only part of the good that would have happened if he had not been killed. The personal gain for me would be all the smiles and fun and great times we would have had with Davey. All the love and help and encouragement he would have given us will never be. All the great memories of awesome times together. Multiply this loss by all his family and his at least a hundred friends.

That’s the good that should have happened. That’s the good that will never be. That’s the good that I grieve over.

Yes, there have been good things that have happened since Davey was killed. The David Glasser Foundation is still fulfilling Davey’s legacy by sponsoring youth sports team all over Phoenix and helping families from Laveen in need at Christmas with a Shop with a Cop. There is a David Glasser Sports facility in Laveen which has become a great hub of good things for that community. There are many other good things that have happened.

But none of it is as good as the things that would have happened had Davey lived. All those good things have been lost forever.

So I may smile when someone talks about the good that has come out of Davey’s death but inside I know there’s just no comparison.

You just don’t understand.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.