It has been one very long string of losing one thing after another.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  Since that day, I have been in a constant process of losing things that connect me back to the time he was alive.  And each loss hurts.  Each loss touches the places that are broken in my heart.

I don’t think it’s ever going to stop.  My husband and I lived very close to Davey and his family the last 5 years of his life.  That was a huge blessing.  It also caused our lives to be closely interwoven with each other – many, many connections.

And I’ve been painfully losing these connections to Davey – one by one – these last 2 1/2 years.

I know there are many connections that I will never lose.  These connections are with Kristen and Micah and Eden.  They are with my family, Davey’s friends, his squad and our blue family.    God has richly blessed me with these important relationships and I am very grateful for them.

I will never lose the great memories and fun times we had with Davey.  I will always treasure those.

All of this does not take away the grief of losing each thing, one after another.  Most recently, Davey and Kristen’s first dog, Scout, died.  They bought him right after they got married when they heard that their apartment accepted dogs.  Then they discovered that the apartment accepted one-year-old dogs, but not puppies.  My husband and I looked at our first little grand puppy and had no other option than to keep him at our house for a couple of months until Davey’s lease was up and they could get a different apartment.

Of course, this also meant that we house trained Scout.  He was a smart little Jack Russell but he didn’t catch on as quickly as I had hoped.  I remember he and I having several heated discussions over puddles on my tile.

Scout was there through every stage of Davey and Kristen’s marriage.  Scout adjusted as they adopted more dogs which were 100 pounds larger than him but he never gave up his alpha dog status.  He moved with them through first apartments and then the house they built and on to another home.  He was there to welcome their two babies home and loved the toddlers even when they tried to pull his tail.  Tears roll down my face as I remember how much Davey loved to throw Scout’s ball high and watch him fly across the room to catch it.

We have lost so much.

So now Scout is gone.  One more thing.  One more connection to how life was before Davey died.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

 

 

Tomorrow is my son’s birthday.

David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  Tomorrow he would have been 37 years-old.

He’s not here to celebrate with us but I am still celebrating.   I am thankful for every day that he was on this earth.

The common-held idea that good people die young is very appropriate in this situation.  Davey was one of the good guys and its hard to ignore the big hole his death has left in my life.  I am frequently reminded of the painful gap between what is and what should be.  His future was something I really looked forward to.  His dreams became my dreams for him as he grew and matured into a man with integrity who cared about the people in his community and city.

I will never forget, on his first day of life, there was an Air Quality Alert going on for the city of Phoenix.  As I held my newborn son in my arms, I looked out at the foggy sky through my hospital window and wondered if it was wise it was to bring a child into a world where the air we breathe is polluted.

Since then, I have found that there are far worse things than air pollution.  The evil that lives in the hearts of people who prowl our neighborhoods is what is really dangerous.  The anger and rebellion and lack of respect that defines the lives of some of the people driving down our streets is much more lethal than the air.  Lately we’ve been watching this anger and evil explode in mass shootings of innocent people.  Unfortunately, it will only get worse until our elected city  officials and the people of our city give our law enforcement officers the respect they deserve, staff our law enforcement agencies correctly, pay our law enforcement officers well and give the officers the tools they need to do their jobs right.

Why haven’t we learned this lesson yet?

I couldn’t have known 37 years ago that my son would decide to part of the solution to the problems in our culture and in our city.  Davey loved being a Police Officer because it put him right up close and personal with the people choosing evil and unsafe behaviors.  And it put good people behind his gun and behind his back, away from the danger.

I’m proud of being a part of the Blue Family which stands for courage, honor and sacrifice.

Davey stood tall for all three.

Happy Birthday tomorrow, Davey!  Miss you.

#8144loveyou

It’s exciting!

It’s the next step in the dream.

It’s gonna happen in February 2019 –

The frist David Glasser Foundation Basketball League.

It’s happening in Laveen where David Glasser, my son and a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

This is the start of the big dream God gave us of having David Glasser Foundation sports leagues and tournaments across the valley providing a service to our communities.   These sports events will also offer opportunities for Police Officers to grow positive relationships with people in the communities they serve.

Next year starts off with a spring DGF Basketball League followed by the 1st Annual DGF Flag Football Tournament in March and then, in the fall, another DGF Basketball League.

A whole year of sports!  Davey just got out his basketball and is hitting the court in heaven for a pick-up game!

You probably have heard how much Davey loved sports – all of them.  He was a super fan of the Cardinals and the Diamondbacks and all ASU sports.  He played baseball and basketball as a kid and decided to focus on basketball when he moved into Junior High.  He was a coach’s player because he played consistently well every game.  After retiring from the Police force, he planned to get his teaching certificate and teach at the high school level while coaching – probably basketball. And probably in a high-risk area of Phoenix because that was just who he was.  He really cared about the areas of our city which are struggling and he understood basketball very well.  He also understood all of the life skills that sports can give a kid when they are coached well.

Davey never got the chance to fulfill that dream of being a coach.  So the David Glasser Foundation is picking up his dream and providing opportunities for kids in high risk areas of Phoenix to receive the good coaching and great life skills which will help them get on  the road to success in their personal lives.

We are looking forward to partnering with Laveen Youth Sports, a non-profit group in Laveen which has been running successful sports leagues there for several years.

We are planning to grow our leagues and, through sports and our police officer volunteers,  have a positive influence on the lives of a lot of kids and their parents for many years to come.

It’s Davey’s dream on a larger scale.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

Parts of his funeral are foggy to me and other parts are crystal clear.  I will never forget sitting in the front row of the huge church auditorium packed to the rafters with family, friends and police officers and their wives.  As I sat there with thousands of people sitting behind me, I felt strong waves of grief rolling over the crowd.  That was one of the experiences that helped me understand how many people were affected by Davey’s death.

This was much bigger than family and friends and people who knew him.  This was my whole big blue family grieving.  I had never experienced that amount of serious grief and pain in one room.

Unbelievable.

The speakers at his funeral were awesome and I appreciated everything people shared.

I did not expect to be surprised by a few things that people talked about.  I knew Davey well and spent a ton of time with him.  As his mother, I thought I knew all about him.  But two things that were shared were not things I expected.

One of them is Davey’s Legacy of Love – he made a big deal out of saying ‘love you’ to his squad members before he left on a call and he would stand there, waiting for them to say it back to them.  I knew Davey always said it to me, I just didn’t know that it was the last thing that he said to everyone that he cared about in his life.  I didn’t know that he had his whole squad of tough police officers saying it to each other before they left on a call.  I also didn’t know at the time of his funeral how Davey’s legacy of love was going to totally change the journey we have been on since that day.  Love is the answer.  I’ve shared that many times with you and I’ll probably keep saying it until the day I leave this earth for home.

The other thing that surprised me was how many of the speakers talked about Davey sharing his faith.  I shouldn’t be surprised because he had a very strong faith.   I just never heard him sharing his faith with other people so I didn’t realize he talked about God as much as he did.  Now I realize that, if he cared about you and he wasn’t sure you believed in Jesus, he would bring it up….often.  In fact, he didn’t let the subject die, he kept talking about it.  He would challenge his friend’s beliefs and unbelief.

How awesome!  It’s just another reason why I’m proud of the man Davey was.  Davey accepted Jesus as his Savior as a child and continued to grow in his faith through the rest of his life.  In this picture, Davey and my husband, Dave, are at a Promise Keeper’s Christian Men’s Rally.  Promise Keepers taught men all about living a life of integrity and keeping their promises.  Davey learned that lesson very well – those of you who knew him already were aware of that.

God provided a great church family for us which was the village that helped grow Davey’s faith.  Davey went to church camp and mission trips every year – living out his faith and having a great time doing it.  This picture is of one of the groups of kids that went on a church mission trip when Davey was in high school.  He is in the back row next to Jay Van Gelder who spoke at his funeral.  And Kristen is in the front row.  We had no idea that they would marry not too many years after this picture was taken.

Davey sets a good role model for those of us who believe.  We need to share our faith and what we know to be true – and we need to keep sharing it.

And do it all while we love people.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

It’s a sign that things are just getting started.

It’s a sign that one man who cared can make a difference.

It’s a sign that David Glasser’s legacy of love is destined to have a permanent effect on the kids who live in Laveen….and beyond.

David Glasser, my son, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.  He loved being a police officer and he committed his life to helping make the streets of Phoenix a safer place for you and I to live.  He wanted to make a difference by working as one of the good guys, making our communities safer for our kids to play in.  He asked to work in the highest risk areas of Phoenix in order to protect you and me from the dangerous people who prowl the streets of those neighborhoods.

Everyone who drives by this plaque in Laveen is reminded of the day that the City of Phoenix lost a hero.

Last year, the Laveen Elementary School District decided to honor Davey and his memory by naming the athletic field they were building after him.  What a great idea!  Davey loved sports – all of them.  He was a huge fan of the Cardinals, the Diamondbacks and all of the ASU sports teams.  The Cardinals are having a really tough season this year so far and, if Davey were here, he would be talking loud and long about ‘fair weather fans’.  Loyalty was a huge issue for Davey.

Davey played baseball and basketball, focusing on basketball as he got into high school and onto the varsity team.  He knew a lot about sports and planned to become a coach after he retired from the police department.  That’s one of the many dreams which will never come true.

But Davey never dreamed that an athletic complex would be named after him.  And that has come true.  Here’s the sign:

It’s a beautiful complex at 5001 West Dobbins Road in Laveen.  Stop in sometime and take a look.

There is not a more appropriate way to honor Davey than by naming a sports complex after him.  And there is no better place for it than in the middle of the community he died serving.  Kids playing sports on these fields for many years to come will be reminded of a Police Officer who cared enough to work hard in their community to help keep them safe.  His love for his community lives on here at these fields.

It’s a sign that great things are going to happen here and it’s all just getting started.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

It happened yesterday.

I was honored to be asked to share my experience of the line of duty death of my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, at a one-day women’s retreat yesterday.  My family was a part of the church family where the retreat was held for 28 years and this was the village that helped grow Davey and my daughter, Katie.

It was the first time I’ve told this story out loud to a big group of people so I spent a lot of time preparing.  So much has happened, it took a lot of prayer to figure out what to include.

If you read this blog, you have read something about most of the lessons I have learned on this journey so far.  One of them is – the question is not ‘if’ something bad is going to happen to you.  The question is ‘when’.

I don’t share that to scare anyone – it’s just the truth.  We all have our tough times and tragedies.

I have realized that one of the ways God prepared me for the trials surrounding Davey’s death was by challenging me to memorize the first chapter of the book of James from the Bible.  James 1 is wisdom scripture.  God knew I was going to need wisdom and I was going to need it to be readily available when there was no time to consult a Bible.  So, about 1 1/2 years before Davey was killed, God challenged me and I memorized James 1.

You don’t understand what a big deal this is – let me explain.  I have an awful memory.  I’ll confess – even though I’ve known you for a very long time, sometimes I just can’t remember your name.  Don’t ask me to be on your trivia team – you’ll be very disappointed.  I never know who wrote what or who did what or what year it happened.

But God proved to me that I can memorize scripture – with his help.  I write the scripture on index cards and get my cards out hundreds of times and God etches his words onto my brain.  That’s how it works.  It’s a supernatural partnership that is very cool and very obvious to me since my memory is so bad for everything else.

As I was sharing the supernatural part of memorizing James 1 yesterday, it sounded like a bucket-full of rocks was dropped on the roof of the church right above me.  It was so loud that I stopped my story, looked up and asked, “What was that?”

I received answers back like “It started raining”, “It’s the wind” and then someone said, “I think that was Davey.”

Cool.

I didn’t think about it again until later, when a couple of women pointed out to me that it had not started raining and it wasn’t windy.

Was it Davey?

What do you think?

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

It has been two and a half years since my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

The worst happened.

Our worlds exploded.

The first many months a fog of pain and confusion swirled around in our heads each day.  The first year is tough and I think the second year is even worse in some ways.  The permanence of the situation becomes very evident in the second year and is extremely difficult to deal with.

The hole in our lives is growing bigger.  There are more and more events and things Davey is missing.  He should have been there.

But we’re figuring out how forward.  That’s what Davey would have wanted.  God is giving us strength and he is helping us get used to living with the hole.

We have discovered that love is the answer.

Davey left us a legacy of love which is much bigger than the 2 simple words, “Love you”.  The love and care behind those words filled many dark times in our lives these last 2 1/2 years.

Davey knew how important these two words were so he used them with us all the time.  At his funeral, I was surprised to hear that he also used them with his squad all the time – and he was adamant that they say it back to him.  He realized how quickly life could end and he wanted those words to be the last thing anyone he cared about heard him say.

‘Love you’ has transformed our journey because its hard to be bitter when everyone around you is saying they love you.  It’s hard to be angry when you’re surrounded by love.  It’s hard to feel alone when all around you arms of love are reaching out to hug you.

And Davey’s legacy of love is bigger than just us.  His love for our city has motivated the creation of the David Glasser Foundation in order to continue the work Davey started.  His foundation is just getting started but we are already seeing some of our dreams of what the foundation can accomplish in Davey’s name coming true.

And there is much more to Davey’s legacy of love.  Because he loved others so freely, his life and death has affected people across our city.  The ripples of his legacy of love have spread through other families and friends out into other states and across the nation as we come to understand how short life is and how important love is.

Love is a gift from God and Davey gave that gift to all of us.

Thank you, Davey.

Miss you.

#8144loveyou

Expose them to the culture they will be living in, working in and hopefully making a difference in.

Help them learn to be resilient as they experience how unfair our world is and how disappointing it can be.

Teach them to be good winners and even better losers.

If they live in a city so they need to be city-smart.  They need to watch for danger and know how to react.  They need to get to know the city and be comfortable in it.

Train them to become independent and self-sufficient at a young age.

Help them learn how to handle the truth – the good and the bad.

Give them tools to overcome their fears and feel confident in facing each day in our uncertain world.

Teach them about God – his love, his grace and his strength as he walks beside them every day,  He is light and they will need light in order to find their way in this dark place we live in.

These are some of the strategies my husband and I used raising our children.  Our son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  These strategies helped make Davey an awesome son, a great friend, a wonderful husband and a fantastic dad.  They also helped him become an excellent police officer who made a positive difference in our city.

Davey was tough.  He understood his culture and was not scared of facing down the evil that prowls within it.  He experienced how unfair our world is and didn’t let it stop him from being passionate about what he did.

The truth was extremely important to Davey – he didn’t hide from it.  His integrity was rock solid – that’s how he lived his life.  He challenged others around him to also live with integrity and he was disappointed when anyone he cared about missed the mark.

All of his life, Davey always wanted to know the rules.  He thought following the rules was very important.  His fun-loving, adventurous side also liked to stretch the rules and bend the rules, but he didn’t break the rules.  Even as a kid, he did whatever it took to avoid getting into trouble.  As a police officer, he wanted to work in the worst parts of the city so he could take the people who broke the laws off of the streets and put them behind bars where they belong.

Davey loved God.  He identified himself as God’s soldier as he went out to battle each day.  He understood that he was fighting evil in the name of God – trying to push back the darkness to help make this world a safer place for you and me.

Davey put himself on the front line because God had given him a warrior’s heart.  We found this scripture on Davey’s phone after he was killed.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

Davey was always figuring out how to get a bunch of his friends together and have a good time.  He loved people – all kinds of people.  He was the type of guy that would start talking to people while he’s waiting in line behind them, and, by the time his turn came up, they would all be following each other on Twitter.  He was always aware of other people who didn’t seem to have friends and he would invite them to join his group.

David Glasser, my son was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  His death had a big impact on our city because his life had a big impact on our city.  People from all over the city had met him and knew him.  Many of those were police officers and there were also large groups of people who knew him because he was a massive fan of the Cardinals and all ASU sports.  There were other sports fans who got to know him on Twitter and then became his friend.  He was born and raised in Phoenix so he had old friends all over the valley that he kept in touch with.

I love to tell stories that give you an insight into his unique personality and personal style.  As you can imagine, Davey liked to have people over and have a good time.  So he needed a beer frig, right?  He always said beer was supposed to be kept cold – you shouldn’t have it sitting in your pantry or garage.  It just didn’t taste right unless it went from the store refrigerator to your refrigerator.

I kept hearing about his beer frig when I would visit Davey and Kristen after they were married.  I assumed it was an extra refrigerator stashed somewhere – I don’t usually drink beer so I never used it.

They built a house in Goodyear and I still heard about this beer frig.  I never really looked for it until one hot summer day when we were visiting Davey and Kristen, I decided I wanted a beer.  And Davey said they were all in the beer frig.  So I went out to the garage to look for this beer frig.  I had never seen it but I had never actually looked for it.

There was no beer frig in the garage.  So I came back in and asked where the beer frig was and my husband told me it was in one of the extra bedrooms.  I had not had any reason to go in there so I had never seen it.  I thought it was a little strange to have a refrigerator in a bedroom but, they had two extra bedrooms at that time so it made some sense.

I checked out both extra rooms and I didn’t see any refrigerator.  Now I’m wondering if they had been playing a joke on me all of these years, just waiting for me to take the bait. (This was just like Davey)  Maybe the ‘beer frig’ was actually the back shelf of their refrigerator or something.

I’m getting a little perturbed at this point – getting a beer shouldn’t be this hard.  So I walked out and said, “Where exactly is this beer frig?”  My husband walked me back to one of the bedrooms and pointed to a brown box on the floor next to a pile of other stuff.  He opened the door of the tiny brown refrigerator and grabbed a beer for me.

I couldn’t stop laughing!

Davey had saved his teeny refrigerator from college days and that was the famous beer frig I had been hearing about for so many years!

Davey loved a good deal.  He was always using coupons and discounts and figuring out how to save a buck.  He used a coupon at the restaurant he and his date went to for Senior Prom.  He would buy Fry’s gift cards and then use them for his own groceries so that he’d get the double points for gas.  He had a coupon on every trip he made to Home Depot.

We now have Davey’s beer frig in our garage.  It’s still working and Davey would smile if he saw how it is stuffed full of beer and in need of being defrosted – just like the old days. That small brown box brings back many good memories of an amazing young man who loved people – and who made good use of his tiny college refrigerator.

So, remember to raise a toast the next time you pop open a brew in memory of a great man, a loving son, a dedicated police officer and an awesome friend!

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

It counts.

It’s awesome to be able to see each day that people care.

I live on the edge of town so I am often driving pretty long distances on the streets and freeways of Metropolitan Phoenix.  The freeway can seem like a pretty lonely place as I only catch quick glimpses of people as we pass by each other.

It can also feel like a dangerous place as cars zoom past and weave around over all the lanes.  I’m always on the defense, trying not to get run into, trying not to become a ‘statistic’ on the freeway.

This city seems like an even more dangerous place to me since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.   Too many guns.  Too much drugs.  Too many angry and confused people.

The violence happened so fast.  It could happen anywhere.  It is happening somewhere in the city – all the time.

I can’t let that stop me from living my life to the fullest so I have to figure out ways to focus on the positives.  And I have begun to watch for Fallen Officer Plates on cars.  Arizona has Fallen Officer Car License plates that anyone can get.  The plate has a small annual fee which goes to Concerns of Police Survivors (COPS).  This organization provides support for survivors of Line of Duty deaths.  They care for people like me and my family and they have been very helpful.  Many of the people who work and volunteer there are survivors themselves.

So they know.

Several years before Davey’s death, he was adamant that we all get Fallen Officer’s plates.  He and Kristen went to every local fallen officer’s funeral and he wanted to help make sure the officers were remembered and the survivors taken care of.  A big smile came onto his face and he pointed it out when he saw the plates start appearing on our cars.  Other states also have special plates – it’s not limited to Arizona.  My daughter lives in Colorado and she has a Fallen Hero plate.

So, when I’m on the freeways and streets of Phoenix, I’m watching for car license plates.  I like the new first responder plates with the thin blue line and the red line but I am partial to the Fallen Officer plates for obvious reasons.  When I see one, I always wonder if the person driving lost an officer or knew a fallen officer.  I realize many of them are probably like us before Davey’s death – supporting all fallen officers’ families.

Some of the licenses are personalized and I have been known to look up a name or date or badge number if it doesn’t look familiar to me.  My plate is personalized – reminding all of us of Davey’s legacy of ‘love you’.  I have seen people behind me take pictures of my plate.  I have seen passengers in cars looking like they are doing what I do – Googling 8144 to see whose badge number it is.  There are several personalized plates around the valley with Davey’s name, badge number and “Love you” on them.  When you see one, please remember how much Davey loved this city and he was willing to risk it all to make it a safer place for us to live.

It feels like my Blue family is out on the road next to me when I see a Fallen Officer plate.  These people recognize that officers have sacrificed everything to help keep evil off of our streets. They remember that our freedom is not free. These people are trying to cut through the anonymity of the city to show that they care.

I see you.

And it helps.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou