My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  And there are days I just don’t want to.

I don’t want to acknowledge the fact that Davey is gone.

I don’t want to try to find the strength to move forward.

I don’t want to face the issues that I will have to face as I will spend the rest of my life here on earth without him.

I don’t want to think about the reality that so many other Blue families and friends go through this same nightmare.  Too many.

I don’t want to visit his spot in the cemetery – I want to pretend it doesn’t exist.

I want to hear his laugh.

I want to see him pick up Eden and throw her in the air.

I want to see him playing basketball in his backyard with Micah and hear him coaching his 5 year-old son on how to improve his shot.

I want to see him playing Cornhole and Washers with his sister and her husband in his big backyard every time they came to visit.

I want to see him in the car with Micah picking up his dad so all the guys could go to Home Depot – they went there ALOT.

I want to see him on his riding lawn mover with his hat and his headphones on, rocking out to tunes while he cuts the grass of the lawn he loves so much.

I want to see him sitting on my couch with our minnie-pin dog stretched over his chest, her head up by his so she can lay there and lick his neck.  She had a big crush on Davey.

I want to hear him talking about which Cardinals away game he and the guys are planning to go to this year.

I want to see him wearing the crazy Cardinals hat I bought him as he tailgates before the game today.  This is his favorite day of the year.

I want to say “Happy Man Christmas’ to him one more time.  Just one more time.  And then see his eyes light up and a huge smile spread across his face.  Just one more time.

My heart yearns to go back to a time when all these things were possible…….. but my brain knows that’s not going to happen.

Miss you so much, Davey.

#8144loveyou.

Evil surrounds us.

It is walking our streets.

It is driving down our highways.

It is stalking our teenage daughters.

It is manufacturing drugs in houses right next to the parks where our children and their friends are playing.

It is selling drugs inside of our schools.

Evil is invading the hearts and minds of the weak, causing them to randomly kill people in the streets with their knives and guns.

Evil is pointing and shooting guns at our Police Officers.

And our Thin Blue Line shoots back.

Yes, we shoot back because we will not surrender our streets, our teenage daughters, our playgrounds or our schools to evil.

Uninformed tongues of people sitting in offices may wag.  But there will be no white flag flown while evil still prowls the streets of our neighborhoods, our cities and our country.  Our Thin Blue Line is making sure of that.

Since the beginning of time – going back to the Garden of Eden – good and evil have been in a battle.  God versus Satan.  We know God wins the war but, right now, we’re in the mess of the battle.  We are in the middle of the pain and confusion and violence.

There are many people who just don’t understand.  Evil needs to be pushed back every hour of every day – it can not be ‘tolerated’.  Evil needs to be searched out and eliminated one black spot at a time.  It’s us or them.

And it’s not going to be us.  We’re not surrendering.

Evil will not stop by itself.   It grows and takes over more ground unless it is met with enough force to push it back.  Our Military is that force outside of the US boundaries and our Law Enforcement officers are that force inside of our boundaries.

There are laws to protect the innocent and those laws need to be enforced – constantly.  You and I might not like getting a speeding ticket but we celebrate when murderers are taken off the streets.  In each situation, we can appreciate the fact that the law of the land is being enforced, making our neighborhoods safer places to live.  Our Thin Blue Line stands between the evil and the innocent and they are not surrendering that line.

Ever.

Thank you to each one of you who battles evil for the rest of us.  Thank you to all of you who support our military and our law enforcement officers as they go to battle each day.

Thank you for never surrendering.

#8144loveyou

not tomorrow.

Looking back, before my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer was killed in the in line of duty, one of the things I’m very grateful for is the fact that we didn’t put things off until tomorrow.  We were – and still are – people who don’t wait until next year, or the next year or the next year to do fun things together.

We went.  We saw.  We did.  We had a great time.  And we have the awesome memories to prove it.

No regrets.

We discovered that there is never a perfect time – we just had to plan it and do it and it all worked out.  What sounded crazy at first – “Let’s all go to Italy next summer” – becomes possible with a good plan and the willingness to just go for it.  I have travelled a lot so I was ready but I remember asking my husband if he was ready for an adventure when I was planning the Italy trip.  He said he was so,  after an 8-day unaccompanied tour of Venice, Florence and Rome we took off across Italy totally on our own.  It was a 5 hour train ride each way, 3 different trains, way down to the heel of Italy where very few Americans go for a week on the beaches of the Adriatic Sea.

What an awesome trip that was!

When the kids were young, we traveled to the Grand Canyon (obviously), Hawaii, Florida, the Poconos, New York City,  and various other places on the east coast.  We always went to baseball games where ever we travelled so we have visited a lot of stadiums. We also camped often – all over Arizona with a lot of different people.  Good times!  Since Davey married Kristen when they were young, she was part of our family for college graduation trips to London, Spain and Italy.  My husband and I cruised to Alaska with Davey and Kristen before they had kids.

Davey continued to love to travel – to go and do – as an adult.  He and Kristen took many trips together and then with Micah.  Davey loved his ‘guy’ trips to Vegas and Cardinals games.  He continued the tradition of going to a baseball or football game where ever he went – eventually visiting most of the stadiums in the United States.

I can’t tell you how glad we are that we didn’t wait.  We didn’t put off having fun together.  We didn’t talk about what we were going to do together someday – we made a plan and did it.  It wasn’t all about the big trips, either.  We had a great time camping as well.

No regrets.

Davey saw and did a lot in his 34 short years and we shared a huge amount of those adventures with him.

My advice to you – if you’ve been putting off having some fun and making great new memories with people you love, today is the day to stop thinking about it and actually do it.  Make a plan, make reservations, put a date to it.

You’ll be glad you did.

We are.

Miss you, Davey.

I’m standing here …..

surrounded by the rubble of my dreams.

They were my dreams for the future of my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

There are times when the piles of my broken hopes and plans overwhelm me.  So many good times with him snatched from my life.  So much happiness and so many smiles that will never be.

He planned to retire from the Police force and get his teaching certificate.  He wanted to teach in high school and coach high school basketball.  He would have been an awesome teacher and an even greater coach.  I witnessed some of his potential when Micah, his son, got old enough to start playing in various sports leagues.  Davey was always beside him during water breaks, giving him tips and encouraging him.

So much has been lost.

Davey was always the responsible oldest child.   He cared for his father and I – making sure we were doing well and gor any healp we needed.   A couple of months before he was killed, my husband and I had rented an RV for a week and then drove it from Denver down to Phoenix.  Davey was not happy when he found out we had gotten back and we hadn’t let him know we were safely home.  He took his responsibilities seriously.

A couple of months before that I was driving my car with a donut (spare tire) because I had a flat tire and hadn’t had time to get it fixed.  He refused to let me drive my car to work on the freeway because donuts were not made to go that fast.  It’s not safe.  He insisted that we switch cars and he got my tire fixed for me while I went to work.

He was supposed to be here beside his dad and I as we move into the fall of our lives.  He was supposed to grow old with Kristen.  They were married very young so they could have easily celebrate 65 or 70  years of marriage.  He was supposed to coach Micah and Eden’s teams and proudly watch them graduate from high school.  Then he was planning to happily watch them graduate from ASU (if he got his way).  Sharing the joy of weddings and his grandchildren with him – it’s all gone.

Only the rubble of the dreams is left.

I’m standing here because I’m not sitting. I’m not staying in the rubble.

I’m still here because God has a purpose for me.  I’m not done yet.  So I’ll keep moving forward, going where God leads me until he calls me home –  where there are no tears, no grief, no rubble.

MIss you Davey.

#8144loveyou

May 18, 2016.

David Glasser, my son, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on that day.

And everything in my world shook.

You cannot imagine what that feels like until it happens to you.  Because it wasn’t just my life – the tsunami of his death hit everyone who was close to Davey.

My two grandchildren’s world exploded.  My daughter-in-law’s world crashed.

My husband’s world shattered into tiny pieces.  Davey was his best friend and my husband’s father had just passed away 2 weeks before Davey was killed.  Too much.

My daughter’s world tilted sideways as all of her dreams and plans with her big brother crumbled.

Davey’s close friend’s and squad member’s worlds spiraled in various directions as each person felt the blow of Davey’s death.

The world shook.  It twisted.  It filled with unimaginable grief.  It emptied of joy and light.

I needed something solid to hold onto while everything around me smashed and rocked.  And I found the one thing that didn’t shatter, didn’t tilt, didn’t explode.  He was right beside me and he was Rock Solid – my Father God.  Always there, always loving us, always caring for us.

God has been with us every step of the way as we have each had to pick our way through the devastation Davey’s death had on our lives.  I am completely convinced that God is good and nothing that has happened to me changes that.

When my world stopped shaking, I realized it was in this new place, a new reality.  My head recognizes this place and knows I have to keep moving forward.  My heart is still regularly tugged back to a time when Davey was here, making me laugh and filling my life with his special kind of love.

Before my whole world shook.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

The answer is yes.

When I am asked if other law enforcement officers being killed in the line of duty brings it all back, the answer is always yes.  It brings back the horrible shock and loss of May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

The recent line of duty death of State Trooper Tyler Edenhofer has been hard.  He was so young with so much ahead of him.  Such a tragedy.  He was killed very close to my old neighborhood here in Phoenix but, truthfully, all of our neighborhoods are at risk.  We need our Thin Blue Line.

I can’t stop thinking and praying for Trooper Edenhofer’s family and friends.  My broken heart hurts for the pain they are experiencing and the struggles yet to come.  I know they are waking up each morning hoping it was all just an extremely bad nightmare…….

and then letting the tears flow as they realize it wasn’t.  Their world has shattered…..

and it will never be the same.

I have these feelings every time I hear of another officer being killed.  Every time.

Too many people don’t understand that each death of a Law Enforcement Officer is a tragedy for all of us.  These are the good guys and they are getting gunned down in the streets.  These are the courageous people who are standing in a thin blue line between all of us and evil.  They are standing between you and the bad guys in your neighborhood, in your city.  They put themselves in harm’s way each day for us.

When good guys lose, we all lose.

And we have all lost another hero.  A man who was dedicated to making a positive difference in our community.  A man willing to stand up against what is wrong and help make it right.

Those of us left behind will remember and honor Trooper Edenhofer for his bravery and sacrifice.  Facebook is full of posts letting us know how each of us can personally show our support for him and his family, for the officers who were injured in the same confrontation and for the Law Enforcement Officers who are still working hard each day to fight evil on our behalf.

Let’s all pick a way to show our appreciation and do it.

We need our Thin Blue Line.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

It used to be that my only fear was that something bad would happen to one of my children.

And then the worst happened on May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

When I was younger, I had a lot of fears – my parents dying, something bad happening to me, and more.  As I grew older, all of those things happened to me.  As God walked me through each experience, I found I wasn’t scared of it any longer.

I was left with just that one fear – something bad happening to one of my children.

Then my daughter was diagnosed with cancer.

But it was early and it was thyroid cancer which is usually contained.  Surgery was successful and I thought my worst fear had been faced.  I was good.  Nothing else was going to happen to my children.

I was obviously very wrong.

Being afraid of it didn’t keep it from happening.  I have found fear to be a waste of energy and time.  Nothing good is going to come from it.  Fear messes up our minds as it messes up our attitudes.  I believe fear comes directly from Satan – he loves to keep us down, keep us worried, scared of our own shadows.

Fear is not going to keep bad things from happening.

If you read my blogs regularly, you have heard this from me before – the question is not ‘if’ something bad is going to happen to you, it’s ‘when’.

I have realized that my thinking one bad experience for my children was going to keep them from another bad experience was wrong.  There will be more – for them, for me and for other people I love.

So I must prepare for tough things to happen without being scared of them.  How do I do that?

As you can imagine, I’ve read a lot of different ideas about this through these last 2 years.  I found that the most helpful words of advice came from God through his Word.  Asking for wisdom in my reaction to the tough stuff has worked.  Wisdom such as making sure my response to the negative is positive and helpful to me and to others has worked.  Building my perseverance through growing my relationship with God has worked.  Finding purpose in the pain has worked.  You’ll find all of this advice in James 1.

So I am no longer scared.  I am prepared.

Because fear does not keep bad things from happening.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

I recently had the opportunity to be riding in the car with two of my grandchildren, Davey’s son and daughter, several times over the course of a couple of days.  I’m blessed anytime I’m with them but I was especially delighted to realized on this trip how often they talked about their dad.  Just about every time we got in the car, something about their dad would come up with no prompting from their mother or me.

How cool!

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  He left behind a wife, his two year-old daughter and a 5 year-old son.

His kids, Micah and Eden, are now two years older and talk about him a lot.

Right after Davey was killed, I found it very difficult to say anything about him.  The emotions were high and the pain was overwhelming.  It was much easier to be quiet than it was to open up the topic of Davey.

But it didn’t take me too long to realize that his children needed to talk about him.  They wanted to hear the stories and they wanted to remember the jokes.  Now I bring up different things about him as often as I can around them so they can continue to learn more about their awesome dad.

It brings joy to my heart when Eden looks up with a sneaky smile and says, ‘barking spiders’.  If you knew Davey, you probably know about ‘barking spiders’.

I have also realized that my Blue Family likes talking about Davey.  We had such good times with him and so many great memories that bring a smile to our faces.  Sharing our stories brings back the good feelings of being with him and having fun.   Now we realize how he drew us together and he taught us how to love each other better.

Talking about Davey and remembering together also helps the Police Officers in our blue family know that their sacrifices and committment count.  The battle they wage against the evil on the streets counts.  The extra effort they make to give our families a safe place to live counts.  The rest of us appreciate it and honor their courage.  It will be remembered.

They will be remembered.

Just as we remember Davey.

And his barking spiders.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

 

I promised you pictures of our Love You Cruise 2018 Reunion dinner and here they are.

Such fun to be together again and talk about the great memories we made.

Miss you, Davey!

Love you!

Have you heard about the Love You Cruise 2018?  At the beginning of June, a bunch of us flew to Puerto Rico and then cruised to the Southern Caribbean.

Just a couple of months before he was killed in the line of duty, my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer went on a Caribbean cruise with his wife, several of his squad members and their wives.  They had an awesome time!  And they have memories of sunny, fun days spent with Davey which can never be repeated.  I’m so glad they went for it!   They didn’t know at the time that it would be the last cruise Davey would ever take.

But Davey was a planner so he had already started to talk about the next cruise he wanted everyone to take with him.  That’s the cruise a bunch of our Blue Family and friends went on just last month.

And I’m learning, for me, the best way to honor and remember Davey is by having a good time celebrating who he was and what his life was about.  The solemn and official memorial ceremonies have their place and serve a great purpose but, for me, having fun together and loving each other is my favorite way of remembering Davey.

And I’m sure he would agree.  He left us a legacy of love – that was what was important to him.

Going on a cruise together gave us a lot of opportunities to share the fun and share the love.  We are talking about a Love You Cruise 2020 – hopefully some more of you will come!  We didn’t talk about Davey a lot, but he was there.  His picture was on our cabin doors, his smile joined our’s for every group picture and his glass was raised with our’s every time we toasted.  If there are shots in heaven, I’m sure he had his share of Buffalo Trace.

One of the best times of our cruise day was gathering for dinner each night at our big table in the dining room with our Love You Cruise Family.  We got used to spending some time reviewing our days with each other and recounting the laughs.  We compared sunburns and tried to figure out how many local beers we drank at the beach that day.  We helped each other decide which two entrees to order and how many desserts we were going to get.  There was no contest for me – I had one favorite dessert and our waiter started making sure they had one for me even when it wasn’t on the menu.  Chocolate, of course.

We celebrated Davey’s life together, honoring the fact that he taught us to be better at showing our love and telling each other ‘Love You’.

But then the cruise ended and everyone flew home with great and meaningful memories of a fun time.

We’ve really missed our Love You Cruise Family dinners since then so we’re having one tonight.  I”ll post some pictures.  We won’t be on a cruise ship but that’s not the important part.  The people are the important part, right?  And the love is the important part.  And the honoring and remembering is the important part.

Love you, Davey!  Thank you for how your life and love have blessed those of us who have been left behind.