The Bomb

A bomb exploded in my life on May 18, 2016.

My plans were made.  I was on a course that had my son’s smile and laughter plastered all over it.

And then the bomb went off – sending me onto a whole new trajectory.  Onto a path I never wanted to be on.  My former plans don’t fit the journey I am on now.

I know I’m not alone.  There is a large group of us who were loving life with Davey when the bomb went off.

And now we find ourselves in this other world…..which is significantly darker….and has an obvious empty space,

Don’t tell me time heals all wounds.  This mother’s heart has a hole in it which will not be healed this side of heaven.

But….

here I am……

-changing my Christmas decorations and house decorations to blue because it’s my new favorite color and it reminds me of a life lived well that ended too soon.

-visiting his spot at the cemetery every week and watching it become gradually more permanent.  The bench with drawings on it from my grand darlings is a new and very special addition.

-retiring in 2 days after over 34 years with corporate Jack in the Box.  My retirement looks very different now from what I thought it was going to look like before May.

And here we are….

-planning a trip to Washington, DC for Police Week in May where Davey will be honored and memorialized.

-organizing a big golf tournament on April 15 which will benefit First Responders through PLEA and the Dave Glasser Foundation.

We’re on a very different path than any of us expected before May 18th.

A couple of days before Christmas, I was shopping and found a small plate with ‘Embrace the Journey’ written on it.  I stood in that store in front of that plate for a long time.

Thinking……………………………….

About the bomb that has gone off in my life and in the lives of so many people I love.

Thinking about all of the things we don’t know about the road we are on now.

Thinking about the pain and the grief and the tears of the last 7 months.

Thinking about 2016 – marked by tragedy but colored by love.

This year, we have learned a lot about loving each other and making sure we tell each other.  We have learned a lot about what’s really important – and what’s not.  Our hearts have grown bigger as we’ve reached out in love to the people moving forward with us on this journey.

It is definitely a journey.

And it has only begun.

So, standing in that store, I decided to Embrace the Journey.  It’s my goal for 2017.

Embracing means to accept or support something willingly and enthusiastically.  I am here and I am willing.  The enthusiasm is going to take some time.

Of course I bought the dish and now I put my wedding ring on it every night.  My wedding ring changed this year, too.  Since its the only piece of jewelry that I always wear, I added blue sapphires to it.  Fallen but never forgotten.embrace-the-journey

As I place my ring with its new sapphires on its new dish at the end of every long day with its many ups and downs, I am reminded of my commitment to Embrace this Journey.

If a bomb went off in your life and you’re on a whole different road than where you started 2016, you are welcome to share my goal.

We’re in a whole new place.  We’ve already started figuring out how to make it a good place as we love and care for each other.

2017 – Embrace the Journey.

 

16 thoughts on “The Bomb

  1. As profound a statement of healthy grief as I’ve ever heard. Many will thank you for opening your heart and letting others grieve with you.

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  2. Judy…..what to say about Davey but i have his picture on my wall to remember as well.. To you i must say that your spirit is very beautiful in all that you write. rick schell

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  3. Judy you always know how just the right words to say to bring the tears, thoughts and inspiration. Thank you. I love you and will too embrace the journey with yoy this year. Please let me know if yoy guys need help with the tournament, we would love to help.
    Julie

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  4. Oh, Judy,
    God bless you. Thank you for speaking for so many broken people who can’t speak these words yet. Thank you for being a role model of trusting God even when there is so much you don’t understand. May God continue to give you grace to embrace the journey.

    Love,
    Denise

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  5. I know that the bombs that have gone off in my life do not begin to compare with the loss of a child. They are nevertheless bombs and have changed the direction of my life and I too am on a journey that I do not know the direction that it will take next. We all have what we feel are plans that we have goals to accomplish and then for what we know as Christians that God changes the direction for whatever reason. For me I think it was God removing people from my life that were toxic to me. I continue to pray for you Judy. I know God has a plan for all of us and that He even uses the bombs that go off in our lives to help others along there journey. God bless you and Dave in 2017

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  6. Judy, You and your family are in my prayers. As a mother of a police officer (Peoria PD) and mother-in-law of an officer (Surprise PD) each day I wonder if a bomb will go off in my world. I do find comfort knowing that God has this and he alone knows our journey. So I pray every day that our men in blue make it home safely. I am sure David is watching over his family and so proud of the how you are keeping his memory alive. Love and Hugs to you!

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    • Thank you, Nancy. We never know when a bomb will go off which is why we’ve be encouraging people to say and show ‘Love You’ to the people you love. There are a lot of different bombs that can happen to us and God’s got them all in his hands. There is peace in that. Love you!

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  7. I continue to pray for you Judy. I know the grief will never fully go away. I think of you and my heart grieves for and with you. A tear drips down my cheek. I was never blessed with children of my own. I’ve loved my nieces, nephews and friends’ children. I still remember Davey as a child…silly but true. I never got to be him when he became an adult. I pray your retirement will be a thousand times better than you dreamed. God is holding you. He’s smiling at His work you are doing. My prayer continues to be that your best memories of Davey bring a smile to your lips and a bit of healing to your heart. Love you.

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