The question is not ‘if’ something bad is going to happen to us.

The right question is ‘when’.

Because something bad is going to happen sometime in our future.

Failure, separation, broken relationships.

Disease, accidents, illness, pain, death.

It’s going to happen.  And most of the time it will happen when we least expect it.

A very close friend of mine received a huge shock this last week when her beautiful daughter-in-law didn’t wake up one morning.  33 years-old.  And she didn’t wake up.

She was fine the day before.

She leaves behind a husband, a 3 year-old son, and a large number of family and friends who never expected something like this to happen.

Many times there is no warning.  I was on my normal commute home from work when I got the call about Davey being shot.

It’s not ‘if’, the question is ‘when’.

So do we live our lives with a cloud of worry and fear over our heads just waiting for the next ax to fall?

Or do we ignore the inevitable and deal with it when it happens?

Neither of those sounds like good option to me.  The tragedy that blew my life apart is not going to cause me to spend the rest of my life focused on dreading the next bad thing.  But I’m also not going to pretend that there are no more hard times coming.

I have chosen to try to find a balance somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.  I am working on growing my faith – getting closer to God.  I’m growing my understanding – since I’ve been thrown into this unthinkable situation of losing a child, I want to understand more about this journey.  I am also trying to grow my resilience in the face of adversity – strengthening the process I use when bad things happen.  Because they are going to happen.

I tend to lean more in the positive direction than the negative – life is more good than bad.  I like to focus on good things – they make the struggle all worth it.

And I have learned a lot about love this last year.  When we show love to those around us – even when we don’t know them – it really does matter.  Each expression of love, every hand that reaches out, any show of kindness and love – it all matters.

Flying across the country to celebrate your step-grandfather’s 90th birthday and putting your arm around him so your mom can take a picture matters – especially when 90 was the last birthday his step-grandfather celebrated.

It’s all worth the effort.  When we love each other, we’re on the right track.

Because it’s not a question of ‘if’.

The right question is ‘when’.

And, as we love each other, it makes ‘when’ better.

All of you have proven this over and over to me this last year.

Love you!

#8144loveyou