I Feel It

I feel the sadness gradually growing in my heart.  I try to ignore the cloud of dread that is starting to form deep in my soul.

It’s May.

The empty place in my life begins to blot out the sunshine.  This emptiness has a name – Davey.  My son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

My May used to be all about having fun on Mother’s Day but now my Mother’s Day is bittersweet. My May also was focused on celebrating another successful year of marriage with my husband on May 23 but now that date is a reminder to be thankful that our marriage survived all the trials and heartache we have gone through together these last 6 years.

Since 2016, May has been more about the huge cloud in our lives that is Davey’s End of Watch Anniversary. 

It’s been 6 very  long years.

Six years of a level of grief I didn’t know was possible.

Six years of a growing hole in my life that is impossible to fill.

Six years of remembering and missing Davey – an awesome man, son, husband, father, friend and Police Officer.

Six years of dealing with the painful reality of all that has been lost.

Six years of figuring out how to move forward, honoring Davey’s sacrifice and his legacy.

Six years of rebuilding dreams in the void where Davey was supposed to be.

Six years without his smile.

Six years of counting on God to get me through another day without Davey.

Six years of visiting Davey’s spot in the cemetery where he is surrounded by other thin blue line heroes.  We used to visit Davey’s spot every May 19th but we have moved to Denver so now stop in every time we’re in town.

I have started a windchime collection on Davey’s tree right next to his spot.  If you have been following my blog, you know we planted a tree there right after his funeral and the first tree died.  It was just another disappointment in a long list of disappointments.  The good news is that the second tree is healthy and growing.  Its strong enough now to hold all the windchimes we want to put  on it.

I know many of you will be visiting Davey’s spot on May 18th or 19th to honor and remember him – thank you.  Feel free to add a windchime to the collection on the tree and send me a picture or post it on the David Glasser Love You Campaign Facebook page if you are a member of that – I would love to see it!

The closer we get to May 19, the more I wish we could just skip the whole month.  Since that’s not possible, we will spend May 19th doing something that Davey liked to do – like playing cornhole.  We have found in the past that this helps us get through a tough anniversary.  It brings back some of our great memories of good times with Davey.

I’m so thankful we had 34 1/2 years of great memories with Davey.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you

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