The hole that my son, David Glasser, left is getting bigger.

David was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18th, 2016.

Two years ago……and the hole seemed big then.  It’s only gotten bigger.

He has missed so much.  He wasn’t there for so many things he should have been.  The list of missed birthdays, the missed Christmas’, the missed Father’s days – and Mother’s Days –  is growing.  He will never get to play with his new niece – and he would have been an awesome uncle.

One of the ironic feelings I have at David Glasser Foundation events is  ‘Davey would love this – he should be here’.  And I don’t mean his ‘spirit’ – I mean the super-tall guy with the big grin on his face making everybody laugh.

So many people say the first year after someone dies is the hardest.  I would agree that it is very hard.  We have to figure out all the ‘firsts’.  Our hearts are pierced and bleeding so it’s an overwhelming struggle to do anything for the first time without the one we lost.

But the permanence of the situation becomes much more real in the second year…the second birthday….the second Christmas….  It just cannot be true that the rest of our lives are going to be like this – without Davey.  I don’t want it to be true.

For me, this is the part that is so different from when my father, mother and older brother died.  They were older than me, so I expected there would be a time when I would be here on earth without them.

That isn’t true about Davey.  He was supposed to be here while his dad and I grew old, making jokes about our move into a 55+ community.  He was supposed to retire from being a cop and become a high school teacher and basketball coach.  He was supposed to coach his children’s baseball, softball, flag football and basketball teams.  He was supposed to keep tailgating and being the life of the party.  He was supposed to be here to celebrate his children’s graduations and weddings….and his grandchildren.

It still doesn’t seem possible that he won’t be doing any of that.

It still doesn’t seem possible that we will have to do all of that without him.

I know we will…..and God is giving us the strength and purpose to do that.

But the hole Davey has left in our lives is very big ….. and it’s getting bigger.

#8144loveyou

It’s good when we get the chance to remember together.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  April and May bring us many opportunities to gather and remember him and all of our fallen officers.   There are several memorials here in Phoenix where we remember all the police officers who have been killed in the line of duty in our city and in our state.  May 15th,  National Peace Officers Memorial Day, is when our entire country remembers all Law Enforcement Officers who have been killed in the United States in the line of duty.  Washington, DC is the center of remembering and honoring our heroes during Police Week which is the week each year in which May 15th falls.  Last year my family and Davey’s squad spent Police Week in Washington, DC – honoring and remembering.

Remembering together helps.  It helps me not feel alone in missing Davey.  It reminds me of all the people he touched, all the people he loved, and all of the people who loved him.  You grieve with me.  You miss him, too.

For me, the best ‘remembering together’ is when we’re having a good time.  The Fallen Officer Golf Classic yesterday is one of my favorite times of remembering.  This is the second year we got the chance to get together to have fun in supporting PLEA Charities and the vision of the David Glasser Foundation.

Early yesterday morning, as the sun was rising, the fun began at the Wigwam Resort in Goodyear.

Registration was a time of reunions –

we laughed together,

we hugged,

and we saw some faces we hadn’t seen in quite a while.

Everybody bought raffle tickets to support the causes and a lot of us won very cool prizes.  I won a free four-some for golf at Karsten’s Golf Course at ASU.  Nice!  My husband is already making a plan to use it.

Some of us played golf.  Others pretended to play golf.  Those of us who didn’t even want to try to pretend to play golf volunteered to do all the other stuff that needed to be done.

The golfers had a lot of fun tasting adult beverages on the course.  Does that help or hurt your golf game?

Over 350 golfers and 50 volunteers received awesome shirts to wear to show our support of  Law Enforcement Officers and we had a great lunch together.

We laughed some more.

We hugged some more.

When we had to say good-bye the “Love You’s” floated out over the crowd.

What an incredible day!

What an incredible way to remember Davey together and support the continuation of the work he started!

Thank you to everyone who participated and volunteered!  Hope to see all of you again next year!

Miss you, Davey.

Heroes recognize each other.

They sense it when they have read about or met another person who has the same level of commitment to the greater good.  They are willing to put themselves at risk in order to help or protect others.

Of course, none of them would call themselves heroes.  But we do.  Because looking in at their lives, we see something special.  We see a level of love and courage and sacrifice in their lives that we just don’t see in our own lives.

Now I understand why my son, David Glasser, loved Pat’s Run so much.  He signed up for next year’s run as soon as this year’s run was over.  He recruited groups of friends and family every year to run beside him.  And as soon as Micah, his son, was old enough Micah was running in the kid’s run – with Davey right beside him.

I realize Davey loved to honor the memory of Pat Tillman because Davey had the heart of hero beating inside of him.

He shared Pat’s burning need to be more

and give more

and protect more. 

Davey recognized these things in Pat’s life because he had the same passions inside of him.

To us, Pat’s run has now become a remembrance of all those who served other’s selflessly and lost their lives.  Davey’s squad members proudly carry the Blue Line Flag as a way to dedicate their run to their brothers and sisters in the Thin Blue Line who gave their lives protecting their communities.

As a soldier, Pat put himself at risk to serve his country.  As a Police Officer, Davey put himself at risk every day to serve the people in his city.

And they both lost their lives because of the heart of a hero that beat inside of them.  

 

Dave’s spirit is at the David Glasser Athletic Complex.

I could feel it in the air last Thursday as the football players gave all their energy to doing their best, working as a team and using their skills and experience to try to win the championship.  They played a great game right after the field dedication.

I could feel his spirit in the air on April 5th when I saw all the big smiles as police officer volunteers played on the field with the kids from the neighborhood practicing various football moves and skills.  This was the Cardinals Football Skills Camp where the David Glasser Foundation partnered up with the Cardinals and Laveen Youth Sports and Raising Canes to have fun with the neighborhood kids and help them with some of  their football skills.

His athletic complex is just like Davey – really big, open and ready for fun.  It’s a perfect place to remember him and continue his legacy.

Before May 2016 when he was killed in the line of duty, Dave was fanatical about his love for sports – all of them.  Playing sports had taught him discipline, perseverance, strategy and accomplishing goals as a team.  Sports had helped make him strong and had given him a brotherhood that he never had experienced before.

Davey was tall but he was never the biggest man on his high school basketball team so he grew strong because his coach always put him under the hoop where the big guys who significantly outweighed him played.

Davey had a strategic mind – all the dots connected for him.   He used this gift well playing sports – making sure he was doing his part in helping the team move toward the goal the winning.

Davey was all about people and relationships and the ‘brothers’ he found in playing sports were some of the most important people in his life.

As an adult, sports gave him an outlet to have fun and be a little crazy – all for the purpose of supporting his teams.  It also became an important legacy which he planned to pass down to his son and to his daughter.

Davey was disciplined and committed – to God, his family and friends, and to sports.  You never had to question his commitment – it was unwavering.  That commitment also helped him learn to persevere – no matter what.   He had integrity – you could count on him to do what was right, even when no one would know.

When he became a Police Officer , Davey invested all of these characteristics and strengths into being great at it.  He was committed.  He persevered and grew strong as he was faced with the daily challenges of  fighting the evil on our city streets.  He loved the officers he worked with and it was important to him that they knew it.

Together, he and his squad worked tirelessly to take the bad guys off of the streets of our neighborhoods.  It was significant that Davey was killed in the driveway of a house in the middle of a residential area where hundreds of families live. That’s where his heart was.  These families have children.  Children who should be able to walk to school safely.  These boys and girls  should be able to ride their bikes safely down the street to their friend’s house without being scared of a drugged bad man with a loaded gun sitting in a van on their sidewalk.  Scary, isn’t it?

Our brothers and sisters in blue face these issues every day.  For us.  To help keep us safe.

The David Glasser Foundation is helping kids, parents and communities have a better understanding of how much police officers care and sacrifice every day – for us.  They are the good guys.

Davey started the work and we are continuing it – with your help.

Together, we are making a difference.  A difference that matters.  A difference that Davey gave his life for.

 

#8144loveyou.

 

 

 

I recognized it the minute I saw it.

It was Dave’s grass!

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  At that time, he owned a house on an acre lot which had a big front lawn and a humongous back lawn.  All grass.  And he LOVED that grass.  Taking great care of it was his hobby.  Riding around on his mower every single week during the summer was his ‘happy place’.

The rest of us always enjoyed going to a party at Davey’s house because there was so much beautiful grass to play on.  Football, whiffle ball, bocci ball, badminton – every kind of ball and game you can imagine – all going on at the time in Dave’s big back yard.  He put in a half court basketball area which was also a favorite spot to play.  Davey has his back to the camera in this picture of him making a one-handed shot.  You can see his beautiful yard in the background.

We have so many great memories of playing with Davey in his back yard.  He was always in the middle of everything, making sure people were having a good time.

Davey’s wife, Kristen, and his kids have moved from that house so we haven’t seen Dave’s grass for a while.

Until this past week.

The David Glasser Foundation had our first opportunity to use the football field at the David Glasser Athletic Complex in Laveen for an event.  And the minute I stepped onto that football field, I realized that God had moved Davey’s grass to this football field.  It was beautiful.  Thick.  Dark green.  It almost looked fake, it was so nice.

The sod actually came from the Fiesta Bowl Charities who donated it to the Laveen School district.  Thank you, Fiesta Bowl Charities!

But I can see the Master Orchestrator at work here, giving all of us the very special gift of Davey’s grass in a public place so we can continue to play on it and make great new memories.

That’s what we did this last week.  Partnering with the Arizona Cardinals, Laveen Youth Sports, and Raising Cane’s, the David Glasser Foundation helped sponsor a Cardinals Skills Camp for 100 kids.  Nineteen of Davey’s brothers and sisters in blue volunteered to help show the kids that they care and to encourage the kids to have fun and do their best.

Great new memories!  Added to our awesome old memories of playing on Davey’s grass.

It makes me smile….. as tears fill my eyes.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou

It’s well deserved.

It’s all deserved.

It was great to celebrate with the award winners at the Phoenix Police Departments “Pride in Our Heroes” Awards Ceremony this last week.  The stories that were shared showed unbelievable courage and honor and sacrifice.

One story was of police officers grabbing the firemen’s hose to make a path into a burning house where there was a shooter holding a family hostage.  True story.

Another story was of a unit which took on the challenge of tracking down and identifying a serial killer in Phoenix.  It took almost a year of commitment and teamwork and extra effort to put this man in jail.  He’s off the streets!  A huge high five to the Thin Blue Line!

The officers who were on the scene of my son, David Glasser’s shooting were given the Medal of Valor.  The fire fighters who were on the scene along with the dispatcher who handled the call were also recognized.  Because of their courage and quick action, Davey’s wish to be an organ donor was made possible.  The heart of my hero is still beating.

We weren’t told all of the stories.   There are thousands more we’ll never hear.  We know that officers do their jobs with courage, honor and sacrifice every day and they don’t all get a medal on a ribbon.

But we all win when our Thin Blue Line is recognized and celebrated.  We all win when their stories of courage, honor and sacrifice are highlighted and rewarded.

These are our brothers and sisters in Blue.  They will say “It’s just my job” and then amaze us with the super hero things they do.  We are very proud of our Thin Blue Line heroes!

Their courage cannot be taken lightly.  Our law enforcement officers put themselves in danger to help keep our community safe every day.  Another story we heard was of an officer who noticed a car moving through a red light into an intersection with no driver.  She put on her lights and drove next to the car to get it safely through the intersection and then pulled in front of it – letting it ram the back of her vehicle to stop it.  The driver was found unconscious in the front seat, was brought the hospital and made a full recovery.  No one was hurt.

Their honor cannot be taken lightly.  Our law enforcement officers care and they face all kinds of dangers to keep evil off of our streets.  We heard a story about an officer who had a gun pointed at his face and the criminal pressed the trigger.  Miraculously, the gun malfunctioned and didn’t fire.  That criminal is in jail.   Our Thin Blue Line does these things for us all the time to keep us safe and get the bad guys off the streets.

Their sacrifice cannot be taken lightly.  There was a long list of officers who received an award because of the pain and issues they have dealt with from being seriously injured on the job.  The evening ended with the good news that the Phoenix Police Department had no deaths in the line of duty last year.  Amen!  And we all remembered our fallen officers by watching a video of the historical markers around Phoenix depicting their place of death.

Tears rolled down my face as I thought of the families and friends of all of these officers who have been killed in the line of duty here in Phoenix.  We have personal knowledge of the huge sacrifice our Thin Blue Line faces each day.

Davey’s was the last historical marker on the video.  Almost two years ago.

Miss you, Davey.

#8144loveyou.

Losing my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, in a line of duty death was a tragedy.

Many people wonder if anything good can come from such evil.  I don’t wonder – God has actually brought several good things out of the loss of my son.  One of them is the gift of clarity for those of us who are left behind.

What’s important?  With all the choices I have with how to spend my time and money, what should I choose?

In my blog last week, I wrote about good choices.  Loving God and loving others – nothing is more important.  Believe me – this became crystal clear when my world exploded.

Bad choices also became crystal clear.   Some of the ways people choose to spend what is possibly their last day on earth are so worthless and petty.

• picking on other people – what they say, how they dress, what they drive, where they work.
• pushing their way in front of others – on the freeway, in the parking lot, in the grocery store line.
• saying mean and ugly things about people on social media – unbelievable!

That’s enough.  You know it.  You could write the rest of the list for me.

None of this stuff matters.  None of it contributes to what is good in this world.  None of it helps – it only hurts.

I have trouble even writing about the bad stuff people do because then I’m focusing on it and there’s so much of it and my mind starts going down that road of disappointment and negativity.

So I turn my thoughts to what is right and good and worth it in our world.

I pray for all of us, Father God, that you would open our eyes to how important it is to spend the little time we have on this earth wisely.  I pray that you will make our hearts wide open to love you and love others.  Please shine your light into our lives.  Bring boatloads of love and kindness into our lives so we can share it with others.  Through you all things are possible.  Thank you, Father, for the gift of clarity.

 

The gift of clarity.

My world blew up on May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.  My hopes and dreams crumbled into a pile of painful pieces and everything changed.

Nothing has been the same since that day.  So much grief, so many tears, such a huge hole.

But, as so many things were lost and stripped away, one thing became crystal clear.

My time on earth is very short.  I am not guaranteed tomorrow.  The people I love may not be here tomorrow.

I need to have my priorities straight.  I need to understand what is most important and make sure I’m living to make the most of each day.

The gift of clarity.

God comes first.  He is my Rock and his love for me is the only thing that didn’t shake on May 18, 2016.  He has been my constant companion as hurt and questions and confusion and change have swirled around in my life these last two years.  I don’t need to understand, I just need to trust him.  He’s got this.

Next –  loving other people.  God tells us to love him and to love others for a reason.  God and people are the only things that really count.  All the other things – money, success, houses, stuff – is temporary and just not that important.   People are important.

Love is important.  Davey’s legacy of ‘Love you’ has drastically changed my life these last 2 years – saying it to others and having it said to me.  Before Davey’s death my ‘love you’s’ were reserved for only those closest to me.  After his death, I realized that its important to love all of the people around me and they need to hear to it.  So I speak love a thousand times more I ever did before.  I say it and write it to crowds of people who would have never heard those words from me.  And I mean it.  I want the best for you.  I care about you.  I want to contribute to the love in your world because you’re important.

Hearing ‘love you’ from so many of you has been a game-changer for me.  I didn’t realize how much of a difference it has made until I went to Washington, DC last year and met with a group of other mothers who had all lost their police officer sons in the line of duty.  I shared the grief and loss with them.  But I never experienced the dark and hostile place filled with anger and bitterness that many of them were in.  I’m very glad about that – it was hard to even be in the same room with all of it.  I give thanks to God for helping me avoid that negativity and I also give a lot of credit to ‘Love you”.

It’s hard to be negative when you’re surrounded by love.

It’s hard to be bitter when people all around you are telling you they love you.

It’s hard to be angry when you’re focused on loving others and being loved in return.

I am so grateful that Davey gave us ‘Love you”.  It’s a God thing – God knew it would help us not only survive these last 2 years but also thrive.  We have loved each other well and it has changed everything.

The gift of clarity.

What is important?

What should I spend my time doing?

What should I spend my money doing?

I am sharing this gift of clarity with you today because today may be my last day.  It may be your’s.

Let’s spend it wisely.

Love you!

 

#8144loveyou

 

 

Death.  Loss.  Serious illness.  Tragedy.

When it happens to someone we know, we often don’t know what to say.   We need to say something – it has to be acknowledged or it feels really wrong – the elephant in the room.

We should think about what we’re going to say ahead of time.

I know.  Many people have said weird or not-helpful things while trying to be nice to me since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.

When tragedy blew my life apart, many of the people I spoke to afterwards would say ‘So sorry for your loss.”  I used to think that this sounded unoriginal and trite but, after experiencing some of the other things people say, I realize it’s a good option.  When you say this, you are recognizing my loss and sharing an emotion.   I say it myself now.   Actually, I often just say “I’m so sorry” to someone who has just had a loss or tragedy.  They know what I’m referring to – it’s all they can think about.

There are other things people say which can actually hurt – poking at my bruises.  Some days whatever people say doesn’t bother me and other days……….. saying things like these can make a dark day worse:

“There’s always a reason.”  Really?   Am I supposed to be glad he’s gone because there’s a reason?  I should stop crying because it’s all working out great now?

“Time heals all wounds.” Really?  All of this pain and grief is going to go away?   It’s going to turn into a scar that doesn’t hurt anymore?  I  personally think ‘heal’ is the wrong word to use with loss and grief.

“He’s in a better place.”  My head knows that.  My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and it aches a little bit more when you remind me that he’s not here with us, with me.

What should we say?

The best advice I have read is in the Bible – Romans 12:15b –

“Weep with those who weep”.

Weep with us.

Weep with me.

Let your heart break for those who are heart-broken.

Hold tightly onto anyone is who is lost in pain and grief.

Give us grace when we are not gracious.

Forgive us when the anger boils over.

Be patient with us when our frustration shows.

Understand that it’s hard to focus sometimes when the emptiness is overwhelming.

Don’t ask us to let you know if there’s anything you can do – if there’s something you want to do, just do it.

Don’t tell us about a different tragedy – your’s or someone else’s.  We are struggling to deal with our own.

Don’t give us advice unless we ask for it.

You really don’t have to say much.

Just love us unconditionally, no matter how we respond.

And weep with us.

 

 

#8144loveyou