As we move forward from May 19th E.O.W. #8144,  we are figuring out a new normal.  We are blessed with a great group of family, friends and our Blue Family.  Together, we’re taking each holiday as it comes and learning how to celebrate it with only memories of Dave.

It’s not easy to do.

It doesn’t feel right.

A lot of grief.

The empty hole in our life is very evident.

But we have no other choice.

We had an ASU vs U of A  Football Game party the day after Thanksgiving.  Davey loved ASU and he loved the rivalry.  He graduated from ASU along with most of our family except we have one Wildcat…..and he loved to razz her about it …constantly 🙂

Davey had  a rivalry party a couple of years ago and it was great doing it again.  His squad came as well as many new friends and old friends.  It was hard – we missed him but Davey’s spirit of fun and love was all over the gathering.  It was good to be together.

A lot of love.

A lot of caring.

A lot of great memories.

Now Christmas is right around the corner.  I have 30 pictures on my frig of my ‘Christmas Kids’ – one for every year since Davey was 4.  In the early pictures, he and his sister are sitting on Santa’s lap.  A couple of years later, Davey is standing in the picture because he refused to sit on Santa’s lap any longer.  And it’s not too many years later that Santa didn’t get in the picture at all anymore.

It’s been awesome to watch my two children grow through these pictures and then, gradually, the group also grew as they both married and we added my two very special grand darlings.  Now we get to see the ‘littles” grow with each Christmas kids picture.

So this year we started a new tradition.  My grand darlings are holding a picture of their dad in our Christmas kids picture.  And we will continue to watch them grow every year.

But Davey will stay forever 34…..

It’s hard to imagine a time that I’ll be able to take our Christmas kids picture without tears in my eyes.

Fallen, but never forgotten.

Today would have been Dave’s 35th birthday.

Yes, the media got that wrong, too.  Remember this whenever you read something from the media – even when they aren’t making things up, using pictures out of context and changing faces on pictures, they still aren’t good with details.  They subtracted years and didn’t care about months.

But we care a lot about the months.

We didn’t know how short of time we would have with him.

Every month was precious.

That’s one of the things we all loved about Dave, wasn’t it?

He made every day count.

He had the gift of making the most of every opportunity to have fun and create memories.  You could count on him to be thinking up something to do or somewhere to go.

One of my favorite birthday party memories was his 10th birthday.  He invited 20 of his closest friends – yes, even back then, he had a lot of friends – and we all went to a park.  He had enough boys for all kinds of teams so they played basketball and baseball until it started getting dark, only stopping long enough to gobble down some hotdogs and cake.

A home Cardinals game landed on his 25th Birthday so we celebrated during the tailgating before the game.  You’ll notice this was before the no-beer pong rules.   How he loved his Cardinals!

35 years ago today, on the day Davey was born, there was an air quality alert for Phoenix.  Lots of pollution in the air.

I remember looking out the window of the hospital with my new son in my arms wondering if it was wise to bring a new life into this kind of world – where we have to be careful breathing too much of the air.

When we look at what’s happening currently in our culture, there are probably some new parents wondering the same thing for different reasons.

But now I know there are much worse things than bad air quality.

There is a grave stone with my son’s name on it.

I go there every week – not because he’s there.  I know where he is and he is happy there.

I visit his spot just to make sure that it looks good.  He died honorably, giving his life to protect and serve others and I want his spot to reflect that when people stop.  And the cemetery staff tells us that a lot of people stop to pay their respects.

I added something new this week. I’m sure Davey would approve.

A message to all of you.

We voted last week…

But God tells us who really puts the governing authorities in place.  He does.

Be afraid, those who choose evil.

When you do evil, God’s servants –  His Agents of Wrath – will hunt you down and punish you.  They do not wear weapons for nothing.  They serve God by bringing punishment upon wrongdoers.

Anyone who rebels against the authorities that God has put into place brings judgement upon themselves.  There is no one else to blame.

After his death, we found this on Davey’s phone:

He believed it.  He lived it.

Being a policeman was not just a job to him.  It was an assignment from God.  It was standing for what is right and fighting against what is wrong.

And I know that most of my brothers and sisters who wear the uniform do it for the same reason.

Not because its fun….

Or easy…

or popular.

Defending the innocent while bringing punishment upon the wrongdoer is a calling from God.

And the wrongdoer should be VERY afraid.

Because the entire Army of God is fighting with his Mighty Warriors in Blue to overcome evil in this world.

Yes, sometimes the evil ones win a battle – like they did on May 18, 2016.

But they will not win the war.

We know how this battle will end.  God has already claimed victory.

 

They sealed his locker this week.

His squad did an awesome job of turning his locker into a beautiful memorial to their fallen team member and brother and friend. 

As we stood in the men’s locker room at the precinct, it took me a little while to realize I was looking around, over the heads of everyone else (because his head always stuck out of a crowd), looking for Davey.

In the sea of the blue, it was an automatic reaction.

And then,

I remembered…..

I wasn’t going to see him here today.

Or ……..

These events are bitter-sweet.  It’s great to get together to honor Davey and the sacrifice he made in order to protect and defend others.

These times of remembering also shine a light on the big hole that has been left in our lives.

When I saw his Cardinals hat on the top shelf of his locker, I caught a quick glimpse of him wearing that hat and smiling at me with eyes that look so much like mine.

I love catching glimpses of him.

Sometimes, as I sit on my couch watching a kid’s movie on TV, out of the corner of my eye, I see a 6 year-old Davey sitting on the other couch,  watching the movie with me.

When I look over, it’s obviously not Davey.  It’s his son, Micah.

So much like his father.

Micah 6:8, “He has shown you, O man, what is good, and what does the LORD require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Justice and mercy and humbleness before God is stamped on his heart and soul.

His long legs spread out in odd directions when he’s getting comfortable.

Such a bright smile!

Intelligent and kind eyes.

That big head full of ideas and questions and plans.

His gentleness with his sister.

And his exasperation with her when she shows her ‘strong will’ and doesn’t want to have fun.

He needs to know the rules and follow the rules.  He doesn’t want to get into trouble.  Doesn’t like to get a ‘time out’.

But he will question the rules.  They have to make sense to him.

He loves sports……all of them.

And he knows A LOT more about sports than most kids his age.

He can be goofy and clown around.  Life is good when everyone around him is having a good time.

He loves his family. They are extremely important to him.

And he loves his friends.  It’s not hard to become his friend…..his heart is always open for another one.

He loves to go…. and do… and have fun.

He’s an obvious extrovert who loves people.

And he loves God.  He knows a lot of the Bible stories – one of his favorites is David and Goliath.

Am I talking about Davey or Micah?

You guessed it –

I’m talking about both of them.

Don’t get me wrong – Micah’s personality is also packed with awesome things that are uniquely Micah.  I’m very interested to see how all of these great qualities roll up into the amazing young man he is destined to be.

Meanwhile, I will treasure these  ‘glimpses’ of Davey…..

until I go ‘home’ and see the real thing again.

My son, David Glasser’s, official End of Watch is May 19, 2016. But the real date he left this earth is May 18.

You would know that as well if you had seen him.

His body was hooked up to all kinds of machines that were keeping his lungs moving and his heart beating.

But Davey – the fun, smart, wonderful son, husband, dad, brother and friend  – was already gone.

He was already with his Father God.

I am thankful to modern medicine which gave us time to start coming to terms to our new reality.  We had several hours to figure out how to start to say good-bye.  It helped.

I am thankful that the machines were able to keep his organs alive so that he could give the gift of life to so many other people.  Our families have been blessed by other organ donors so we know what an important thing this is.  Knowing that helped.

I am thankful for the doctors and nurses who treated Dave with care and respect.  They also were very helpful and understanding to those of us who spent the darkest hours of that night in a room next to Davey in unbelief of what was happening.  It helped.

I am thankful for the rooms full of police officers and friends at the hospital who prayed for us and supported us through those awful hours.  It helped.

I am thankful for the family and friends all over the country who prayed for us through that night.   I am thankful for all of the people who didn’t even know us and they prayed for us.  It helped.

I am thankful for Dave’s squad who, disregarding their own pain, had the worst job of making telephone calls and getting us to the hospital.   I am also  thankful for the Employee Assistance Unit led by Sgt. Dave Osborne.   Both of these teams promised support and they meant it.   It really helped.

I am thankful for the entire Phoenix Police Department who supported us that night any way they possibly could.   They parked our cars so we could run right into the hospital, they brought food, they picked up family at the airport, they took care of the press, they drove us home, they never left their watch on Dave’s room and much more.  It all helped.

I am thankful for Pastor Mark Grochoki from our church, Palm Valley, who somehow found a way through the crowds and lines of police to pray for us in a small, dark corner of the hospital lobby.  It was an oasis of peace in a very long, terrible night.  It helped.

I am thankful for the Police Chaplain, Bob Fesmire, who is so clearly called by God to walk families like ours through the most painful hours of our lives. Your words of wisdom cut through the shock and helped us move forward.  You prayed for us through the night when we had no words.  I will never forget your prayer as we said our last goodbyes before leaving the hospital.  I don’t recall the exact words of your prayer but I remember God reaching out through them to wrap his arms around me to comfort me.  You were God with skin on that night, my brother.  You really helped.

 May 18th was Davey’s last day.  Now he lives in our hearts and our memories until we see him again in heaven.

I’m not saying that we need to change the date on all the plaques and forms.

I just wanted you to know……..

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

I feel him.

I see him.

I know you feel him and see him, my Blue Family.

All day long.

The Prince of Darkness.  The Father of Lies.

He thinks he’s winning right now.  The anger.  The hatred. The violence.

All his creation, his idea.

He doesn’t like the fact that you’re reading this.

If you didn’t know about him or haven’t thought about it, this might open your eyes to what’s really going on.  We are no threat to him when we’re clueless about the source of all evil.

Who’s behind it all.

He is creating the chaos and the pain.

He’s smiling right now – he loves it.

He’s very smart.  He uses people to do his dirty work so it looks like people are the problem.

Yes, the fact that they are listening to him and letting him use them is a problem.

But let’s not get distracted by the people, the faces.  He wants to confuse us so we’re not dealing with the truth.

There’s a battle going on but it’s not the one in the media and on Facebook and Twitter.

It’s a battle for our souls.

We’re not talking about the war – God has already proclaimed victory.

But this battle for who will believe and be redeemed is not yet done.

Whose side are you on? 

Satan or God’s?

You have to choose one or the other.

Good or Evil.

Right or Wrong.

Heaven or hell.

It’s black or white.

The Evil One loves it when we get lost in the gray.  He smiles when we’re on the fence…uncommitted.

How do we fight this battle?

On our knees.

All truth comes from God.  All strength comes from God.  All wisdom comes from God.

When we plug into his truth and strength, we are fighting for the right side.

And Satan hates it.  He will do anything in his power to get us to loosen our grip on God.

Because that’s how the battle is won – in our hearts.

Our lives here on earth are extremely short.  I have been strongly reminded of that every day since May 19.  God had Davey’s heart – it was already in heaven.  Now his soul is there, too.  Regardless of what happened here on earth, Davey won.

Each of us must make our own choice.

My heart is 100% with God.

Where is your’s?

The sound of sirens makes my stomach churn.

It means members of my Blue Family are rushing to take care of business.  They are putting themselves at risk – not knowing what they are walking into.

Sirens are a signal that all is not well in my world.

Sirens in the middle of the night are the worst.  When its pitch black and the darkness is heaviest, people with darkness in their souls like to crawl out to do their evil deeds.

And so I pray.

I pray for my brothers and sisters in Blue.  I ask my Father God for wisdom for them.  I ask for courage.  I ask for protection.  And I ask that justice will be served so some of the darkness in my community will be taken away.

Sometimes these sirens are firefighters speeding through the streets with their sirens and lights.  Often, these first responders are partnering with our Blue family in order to bring order to chaos and help people who are hurt.  I know some excellent firefighters – and I pray for them, too, as the sirens wail across the night.

All the while, my stomach churns.  And I pray.

You, my dear brothers and sisters in Blue, are a very unusual breed of people.   You race through the night, in a hurry to take care of the crimes being committed by hateful people.

You run toward the gunfire.

You step into the middle of messes.  You move forward into the danger and are a human shield for others – even when they don’t like you or respect you.  You deal with the drugged lyers and cheaters of our world every day, all day.

Meanwhile, the sirens scream through the night and my stomach churns.  And I pray, trying to push away the fear.

The fear of what could be happening.

Fear for your wives and husbands.

Fear for your children and your babies.

Fear for your fathers and your mothers.

Fear for your families and friends.

Because I know the danger that accompanies those sirens.

I know what can happen.

The phone call.

The trip to the hospital.

The doctor’s unbelievable words.

And the nightmare.

So I pray.

 

 

Stand tall, my brothers and sisters in Blue!

The thumbprint of God is on you!

In the beginning, God created mankind.

In his image.

Now, millenniums later, he is still molding each one of us into unique human beings.

And each one of us reflects attributes of God in a different way.

You, my dear brothers and sisters in Blue, have the imprint of God’s justice stamped on your heart.

God created justice.

It’s his voice you are hearing in your mind when you are deciding between right and wrong.  You may have been calling this your conscience…..so, who created your conscience?  That’s his voice you’re hearing.

You feel the passion he placed inside of you as you work hard to replace what’s wrong with the world with what’s right.

You feel the fire that God created inside of you – the need to ‘take care’ of the bad guys in order to protect the innocent.

God speaks loud and long against the wicked all through his Word.

He curses the house of the wicked.

He punishes them.  He does not rescue them.

He does not tolerate the wicked and those who love violence.

Alright, my brothers and sisters in Blue – does any of that sound like you?

His thumbprint is all over you!

The wicked in our world no longer hear God through their conscience because they have filled their minds with the lies of our culture.  The lies of our media.  The lies they tell themselves in order to rationalize their behavior and blame others.

Seeing you on the street reminds them that there is justice in the world.  There is a right.  And there is a wrong.

They are reminded that they are wrong.

And they don’t like being reminded.

Some of them resort to violence.  It’s their language.

We lose some battles.  My broken heart reminds me of that constantly.

But we will not lose the war.  God has already claimed victory.

 

When the worst happened.

Someone I loved deeply and planned to have in my life for a very long time went to work…..

and never returned.

It is my worst nightmare.

My son, Dave Glasser, was a Phoenix Police officer for 12 years.  So I know about the small cloud of anxiety that hangs over Police Officers and their families every day.

Hoping..

and praying..

that today is not the day they don’t come back.

That is not my story.

Now I’m picking up the pieces of my life and figuring out how they fit together around this very large hole in my heart.  I know God has a plan and a purpose for what happened.  And one part of that plan is for me to share some of this journey with you.

So I begin here –  with My Family Bleeds Blue.

Because my family actually does bleed blue.  The courage and love and honor that embodies a great Police Officer runs through of the veins of my ‘family’ members.  Others of us in the ‘family’ have hearts of blue because we love and encourage and pray for our members who wear the uniform.

If either of these describe you, welcome to my Blue Family!

It’s not an easy family to be a part of.

The worst can happen.