Today would have been David Glasser’s 36th birthday.  He was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

In our minds and memories, he will forever be 34 years-old.

Davey loved his birthday.  We had a party every year and he really enjoyed getting presents – no matter what the gift was.  Here’s a picture from about 12 years ago when his birthday fell on the same day as a Cardinals home game and his party was a tailgating party.  This was just the beginning of his growing passion for tailgating.  He had to be wherever the party was!

If he were alive, he would be preparing for the ASU vs UofA football game next Saturday.  He hosted several Gameday BBQs and seriously loved to trash talk any UofA Alumni who came – one of whom is his only sister.  Yes, we are a house divided.  And we’re divided very unevenly because all of us graduated from ASU except my daughter.  If you ever sat near Davey at a Cardinal’s football game and someone with the opposing team’s jersey or hat walked up the stairs, you know the razzing that Davey could deal out.  It was one of his specialties.

Davey would also be getting ready for his squad’s annual Christmas party which he hosted several times in his house.  He loved to have everyone over, play some poker, eat a lot of food and make great memories.  There were stories of the squad taking turns racing Davey’s riding lawn mower around on his huge back yard .  I wasn’t there – I just heard the stories.

So today we watched the Cardinals game with Davey.  His super-tailgating buddies set up the TV and food close to Davey’s spot in the cemetary and the party started.  The air was filled with the joy of being together and sharing great memories touched with grief because of the big hole Davey’s death has left in all of our lives.

Davey would have loved it!  He would have been wearing his Cardinals hat, making sure he talked to everyone and never running out of things to make fun of.  He would really appreciate the effort of turning a potentially sad day into a good time with family and friends.

After the game was over, we all sent balloons with messages from us up,

up,

up,

up into the sky……

until we couldn’t see them anymore.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Davey.

We love you.  We miss you.

#8144loveyou

#fallenbutnotforgotten

He was going to retire from the Phoenix Police Force after 20 years, get his teaching certificate and coach basketball while teaching at the high school level.

David Glasser, my son who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016, would have been a great teacher.

And he would have been an even better coach.  He not only loved sports – he understood the complexities and reality of playing them.

But – none of it is going to happen.  This is one of the most painful parts of the tragedy of his death – all of these dreams have been snatched away.  Lots of plans and fun and awesome experiences – which we’re not going to have.

This is definitely a hot button of grief in my life.  His plans.  He was going to continue to work and give and sacrifice for the good of our community.  Davey would have positively touched hundreds of kids and their families’ lives in high school with his unique combination of fun, integrity and faith.  The stories and the accomplishments would have filled several books.

I think this is one of the places that hurts the worst when your child dies – all of the things that were going to happen and should have happened, just aren’t going to happen.  All the potential.  All the possibilities.  Gone.

For me, this part has been much more difficult than with other deaths I have experienced.  I was very close to my mother and I miss her a lot.  When she passed away at 84 years-old, she had lived a full and faithful life.  She assured us she was ready to go ‘home’.

So very different.

This is much harder.

The hole doesn’t go away.

The lost dreams come back to haunt me.  They remind me of who is missing in my life.

One of the ways we are reclaiming some of those lost plans is through the David Glasser Foundation.  We are continuing the work which Davey started.

We broke ground on the David Glasser Athletic Complex in Laveen, Arizona last week.  There are already 2 functioning baseball fields at this location and now a football/soccer field is being added.  Thank you to the Laveen Elementary School District for honoring Davey this way!

He would love it! Davey’s grandfather passed away 2 weeks before Davey died and he has a baseball field in Pennsylvania named after him.  Davey was very proud of this and he visited the field every time he could making sure his son got to see it, too.

So breaking ground on the athletic complex comes with a good feeling of moving forward in reviving some of the dreams Davey had:

• dreams of kids learning perseverance, respect, accountability, teamwork and responsibility through sports which can prepare them to become positive adult contributors to their community.
• dreams of kids being coached well, giving them a good role model so they can identify the ‘good guys’ and want to be a part of the solution in our culture.

Breaking ground.  It’s a good term.  Once the ground is broken, there is no putting it back exactly like it was.  Broken ground becomes something else.   And this broken ground is going to become the David Glasser Athletic Complex filled with lots of potential and possibilities.

New dreams fulfilling old dreams.

A new plan has begun.

#8144loveyou

If you have had a child die, you know that it is one of the worst things that can happen to you.   For some of us it is definitely THE worst thing that could ever happen to us.

After years of working at facing my fears, I realized many years ago that the only fear I had left was that something bad would happen to one of my children.  A couple of years after that realization, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer.  It changed her life but it was caught early and there have been no more signs of cancer.

I thought that was enough.  That was my fear coming true and it was a tough time.

I didn’t know a tsunami that far exceeded anything I was afraid of was building up steam and heading my way.  It hit on May 18, 2016 when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty as he was responding to a robbery call.  The waves of grief and anger and pain roared over my life – foaming, surging and destroying.  They violently ripped away any expectations I had for today and totally decimated my dreams for tomorrow.

The waves roared all night and grew stronger in the darkness.

But they were most painful in the daylight when I could see the desolation they had left.

The holes.

The emptiness.

The loss.

My two small fatherless grandchildren.

This storm left my ‘stuff’ but took my son.   And I would give everything I own for one more hour with Davey.

To see his smile.

Hear his laughter.  And his jokes.

And one more ‘love you’.

Surviving the worst has taken away all of my fears.  Because fearing that something bad would happen did not change the facts about the bad things that happened to my children.

Fear is useless.

Fear does nothing but stop us from doing things we should do.

Fear keeps us on the defensive.  It keeps us cowering in the corner.

My prayer for all of us who have experienced the worst is that we will find courage in knowing we have survived.  I pray that we will act on  that courage because we survived for a purpose.  And I pray that we will set aside our useless fears so we can make the time we have left on this planet count.  Because our time is short – often much shorter than we know.

Davey would be extremely proud of Kristen, my daughter-in-law, for starting the David Glasser Foundation in order to continue his fight against hate and ignorance and violence.  This takes courage.

He would love the reality of all of us working together to push back the darkness – one step at a time.  We are not sitting in the corner, afraid that something else bad is going to happen.  It probably will – our fears will not stop it.  But our actions might.

With courage and conviction, we are moving forward, continuing Davey’s battle and making it our own.

The challenge I give everyone today is to figure out how to be a part of the fight for what’s right.  You are welcome to join with us at the David Glasser Foundation or find your own battle.  There is much work to be done to reestablish honor, respect, and love in our country.

May God give all of us the courage we need to help make that happen.

#8144loveyou

#fallenbutnotforgotten

I’m meeting new people –

who don’t know about the tragedy that blew my life apart 17 months ago when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

My husband and I have just moved into a new community an hour away from our old home.  And we’re starting to get to know our neighbors –

who don’t know.

So I am having regular ‘getting to know you’ conversations and people just don’t realize the landmine they are stepping on when they ask me if I have any children.

Yes, I want people to know me and I want them to know about Davey and his death.  It’s just a very tough thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation with someone I barely know.

Depending on the emotions rolling through my heart that day, talking about Davey can start the tears rolling down my face.  That’s a real conversation stopper.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to talk about Davey and all the great things about him.  But some times on some days, there are very strong emotions tied to this subject.   When emotions make the situation feel awkward, I change the subject as soon as I can and talk about my daughter and son-in-law who are having their first child in February.  Babies always bring smiles.

This experience has taught me a couple of things about ‘getting to know you conversations’.  They are not as superficial as they seem.  Most people have various bruised and tender spots in their lives that can be difficult to talk about.  We can’t avoid the landmines because they are often a central part of a person’s life and it needs to be included in who we are.  So we share the hurt and we share the emotion and we share the awkwardness.

And – in the end – we know each other a little better.

That’s a good thing.

#8144loveyou

When tragedy strikes, we are forced to choose a path.

When my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officers, was killed in the line of duty last year, each of us affected by it were forced to choose a path.

When the sun came up on May 19, 2016 and Davey was dead, I had a decision to make.

Was I going to choose a path of bitterness?  Would I be defined as a victim of what was done to me for the rest of my life?  Would my life get stuck on this event?

Or would I choose life?  Would I figure out how to move forward?  Would I deal with the tears and the grief and the hole in my life in light of the fact that I was still here.  I still have a purpose.

When tragedy strikes, we are forced to choose.  Each day we make a choice.  The good news is, if we make a wrong choice one day, we can change it the next.  We have this choice until that day of our final breath.

My decision was very easy when I thought of what Davey would want me to do.  He loved life.  He loved people.  He loved God.  And he lived his life full speed ahead.

There is no question about which choice would honor his legacy.  There is no double what he would say if we got the chance to ask.

He would say live life to its fullest.  Love people.  Love God.  Never stop growing and giving and having fun.  Live a life of no regrets.  Forgive and move on so you can avoid bitterness and a victim mentality.  Value integrity and honor.  Make your life count by caring for and helping others.

These are the choices that will honor Davey and honor what he died for.

Its our choice.

He saw me.

He saw you.

He noticed what was going on with us.

We weren’t just a blur in his day.

He noticed.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty May 18, 2016.  Since that time, I have received hundreds of comments and messages from all different people and many of these comments sounded something like, ” I didn’t know David well but, whenever he saw me, he would smile and talk with me.  He often encouraged me or made me laugh.  I could tell he was one of the good guys.”

He noticed people.  He cared about us – and we all realized it, didn’t we?

When Davey was around,  you and I could tell he cared because of the things he said and how he acted.  We knew he liked spending time with us.  We were all important to him.

There were some things he didn’t care about – like your age or ethnic background or how popular you were.  He would often make jokes about those things because he really didn’t think they were important.  In fact, if he found out you didn’t have many friends, he would immediately adopt you and draw you into his large circle of friends.  Suddenly, you had a LOT of friends!  Those of you who tailgated with him saw this all the time.

He noticed.  And he cared about the important stuff.

This made him a great police officer.

People mattered.

And he was willing to do something about it.

The board of directors for the David Glasser Foundation had the opportunity to talk with the 1st Graders of Cheatham Elementary School this week.  Cheatham is the closest elementary school to the location where Davey was killed.  These 1st graders were still really excited about the new backpacks they received from the foundation (because of your donations) last month when school started and they wanted to show their appreciation.

So many bright and happy faces.

So much energy and enthusiasm for life.

So much potential to be a positive contributor to their community in the future and make it a better place to live.

And they live in one of the highest risk areas of Phoenix.

A high risk of being a victim of a crime.

A high risk of being influenced into making bad choices and becoming part of the problem.

A high risk of losing their enthusiasm for being a positive contributor in their community.

Their future is at risk.

For all these reasons, this was the area of Phoenix where Davey chose to risk his own life to serve and protect.

He made a difference.

And his legacy lives on.

 

#8144loveyou

#hislegacyoflove

#fallenbutnotforgotten

May 18, 2016 seemed just like any other day.

And then I received the call that my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, had been shot.  Before the night ended, he was gone.

I felt like the rug of my life was completely pulled out from under my feet.  Nothing was what it was before.  My husband and I lived a mile away from Davey and his family and Davey was my husband’s best friend so there was daily interactions and conversations.

But now Davey was gone.

And the ‘rug’ was gone.

The ‘rug’ includes all of the material and superficial stuff in my life – the things that seemed to matter a lot until we were hit with this tragedy.  When something horrible like this happens, none of that means anything anymore.  It’s all very trivial.

The ‘rug’  was not going to help me survive. The ‘rug’ was not important enough to get me out of bed in the morning after Davey died.  It wasn’t important enough to motivate me to look up out of my grief and try to move forward.

When the ‘rug’ is gone, it exposes what is under it.

What is really important?

What’s left?

What do I say and how do I act when my world is shaking and crumbling around me?  What kind of character have I developed?

The real question is – how solid is the foundation I’ve been building my life on?

If you’ve experienced a tragedy in your life, you have had no choice – you had to answer these questions.  All of the people who have been seriously affected by the recent hurricanes have had to answer these questions.

I have had to answer these questions.

The good news is that my foundation held.  It didn’t crack – it never even shook.

My life is built on a relationship with my Father God who was and is and will always be.  He never leaves my side and he gives me motivation to get up every morning.

God has won the war that is being waged here on earth.  It is finished.

But I still have a purpose to complete – a piece of his plan to accomplish.  And then he will take me home – where Davey is.

The ‘rug’ disappeared but God never moved.

 

#8144loveyou

 

He had the Heart of a Warrior and –

somewhere –

his heart is still beating.

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  He was also an organ donor.

Davey was only 34 years-old and in excellent physical condition when he was killed by a shot to his head.   As a result, a whole crowd of people who are still walking on this earth received his life-giving organs.

And someone got the Heart of a Warrior.

It’s still beating.

This heart beats for justice.

It beats for integrity and honor.

It beats for courage and personal sacrifice.

And it beats strongly for loving God and loving each other.

I believe that each of us has our own Warrior’s Heart.  God gave us things we are passionate about – things that make our hearts beat faster.  We’re all different so these passions are different as well.

The issues that we really care about are the areas where we are supposed to stand up and do something helpful, something positive.

How do I make a difference in this world?

How do you make a difference?

One very easy way we can make a difference is sign up to be an organ donor like Davey.  I’ve done that.  Have you?

Other ways to make a difference aren’t as easy but we need to figure out how to use our passions and our energy to have a positive effect on our world.  Don’t just talk about it – do it.  What do you get riled up about?  What angers you?  What frustrates you?  That is where your passion lies.

One of the failures in our current culture is too many people are spending their precious time and resources standing against and protesting against things.

But what are they standing for?

Their time and resources could be used to help people – to make a positive difference.

It’s a choice.

I choose to help grow the light at the end of the tunnel.  I choose to stand for what is right and honorable.  I stand for justice and freedom in our country by standing for the Thin Blue Line between the evil and innocent.

My Warrior’s Heart beats for loving God and loving others.

What does your Warrior’s Heart beat for?

What are you doing about it?

 

#8144loveyou

#fallenbutnotforgotten

#hislegacyoflove

 

 

My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

These last 6 months have been the most difficult and painful months of my life.

One of the ways God has comforted me is through this truth – ” A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” Job 14:5.

God has already decided which day will be the last day of my life here on earth – and your’s.

Knowing this helped me let go of my mother when she passed away 12 years ago.  We had a very close relationship and she was my role-model for how a Christian woman lives her life faithful to God – all the way to her last breath here on earth.  I realized, if God wanted her in heaven with him, then that’s what I wanted for her.  She was an awesome grandmother to my children and had a special place in her heart for Davey.

Ten years ago I found myself in ICU with twelve blood clots in my lungs – a life-threatening situation.  God told me clearly that I wasn’t going to die then and I didn’t – even though 5 doctors told me the blood clots should have killed me.

It just wasn’t my day.

I know that God has reasons for picking May 19 as Davey’s final day here on earth. I may never understand those reasons but I trust God.  And, since God wants him in heaven, that’s what I want for him.

Knowing that this date was determined before Davey was born helps me avoid needless regrets…like –

• I wish he hadn’t gone on that call.
  • It wouldn’t have mattered.  This was his day.
• I wish he hadn’t gone to work that day.
  • It would have happened no matter what he was doing.
• I wish he hadn’t been a police officer.
  • He was born to be a police officer and he died honorably, serving his community and doing what he loved to do.  He wouldn’t have wanted to live or die any other way.

It was decided.  There is no ‘wishing’ something else had happened.  God decreed the number of Davey’s days here on earth and then he took Davey home.

Now, standing on a foundation of God’s love and strength and grace, the rest of us are left on the earth to figure out how to move forward.  We need to figure out why we’re still here – what is God’s purpose for keeping us here?  And then we need to do it….until the day arrives that is already decided for us.

Meanwhile, through the tears, we focus on loving God and loving each other.

A bigger chunk of my heart is now in heaven with you, Abba Father.

 

 

He was there when my son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, went to work on May 18, 2016.

It felt like just another day.

He was there when Davey took his last call.

It seemed like just another call.

God was there when Davey stepped out of the police car and a bullet ripped off the back of his head.

This just can’t be happening.

He was there when responding bullets eliminated the evil that was standing on the driveway.

So no one else was hurt.

He was there while Davey’s squad members protected and cared for Davey as his blood spilled out onto the pavement.

The well-trained officers responded quickly even as their hearts were breaking.

God was there when the police and firemen revived Davey’s body and took him to the hospital.

They did everything they could…. and more.

He was there, right beside me, when I received that call telling me Davey had been shot.  He was beside each of us as we received that call. It’s a call we’ll never forget.

It haunts my dreams.

He was there beside each of us as we each made our way to the hospital through a sudden, dark fog.

 It can’t be true.

God heard my terrified cries followed by urgent prayers for a miracle as the news and the night unfolded.

He heard and he cared.

He provided family, friends, our Blue family, doctors, nurses, and a chaplain to help all of us hold together as we entered hell.

It felt like a journey into hell but I know hell is worse because God is not there.

God walked the corridors with us as we cried and prayed.  The halls of the hospital were lined with people crying and praying.  Several waiting rooms were packed full of people crying and praying.

He heard and he cared.

He wrapped his arms around us as the long night dragged on and Davey’s brainwaves gradually………disappeared.

This can’t be true.

The night finally ended and the sun rose once again.

I was still alive.

The rest of us were still alive.

Together, we were going to have to figure out how to go on without Davey.

Impossible.

It’s impossible to go on without Davey.

But what felt impossible on that day, God has made possible.  He has been there through everything, loving us and giving us strength.  He has heard every prayer and He has held us each time we have cried.

And He has given us a purpose for going on.

He was there.

And He is here – making the impossible possible.

 

#8144loveyou

#hislegacyoflove

#fallenbutnotforgotten