Davey loved life.  He loved a lot of things.

But the three most important things in his life were Kristen and his two children.  And that was very evident in how he lived his life.  They came first.  They were at the top of the list.  Everyday.

He had high expectations for his kids.  He cared about what they were learning and he cared about their behavior.  He was involved in every aspect of their lives.

When Davey’s son was around two, he went through a ‘Daddy’ phase where he only wanted to be with his dad.  Everywhere.  All the time.  They became a constant duo – we always saw them together.  This picture is at church on Father’s Day 4 years ago.

Davey took his son everywhere with him.  He used to spend quite a bit of time at Lowe’s – and so did his son.  Davey would also pick up my husband for these trip to Lowe’s so it became a normal Saturday thing to see all the Glasser Guys in Lowes doing whatever guys do there.

Davey had another favorite haunt that I didn’t know about until one day I was taking my little grandson to Wildflower and he pointed out ‘my daddy’s store’.  Right behind Wildflower is a Best Buy –  I wonder how much time they spent in there 🙂

My grand-daughter had to wear a ‘helmet’ when she was little to help reshape her skull.  Davey would always tell her how great she looked and how special she was.  It was a hot thing to wear and, toward the end, she didn’t want to put it on anymore.  The doctors said she should wear it for a couple of more weeks but Davey took it off.  He said she was beautiful just the way she was.

Davey loved all sports so he spent big chunks of time in his backyard playing catch with his son.  There was a lot of batting practice.  You would be surprised at how well his six year-old son can hit.  Davey also put up a basketball hoop in his backyard that adjusted way down to his small son’s height.  It has a light on it was that basketball practice was also always going on.  You can see in the picture, even when we bought a little $3 plastic golf set – golf lessons started.  

Davey dreamed about his daughter playing softball and volleyball.  I’m sure she will – she already enjoys playing catch.

But he won’t be there to coach her.

And that is what makes Father’s Day such a tough day.  The loss of a truly great dad.  All of the love.  All of the fun.

The hole in our lives is huge and painful today.

It’s been over 6 years since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer was killed in the line of duty.

And we have great memories of our lives with him.  We laughed, we played and we travelled.  We watched Davey play a lot of sports and we went to many games of all kinds in all different cities with him.

So many memories that bring big smiles to our faces.

But all of our dreams for the future with Davey have been snatched away.

Dreams of Davey coaching his son and daughter in baseball, basketball, volleyball and every other sport there is.

Dreams of Davey retiring from the police force and figuring out what he was going to do next.

Dreams of Davey and his, wife, Kristen, growing old together.  They were married young so we talked about them the possibility of them celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary.

Dreams of Davey and his son, Micah, playing a mean game of one-on-one basketball as Micah grew taller and taller, eventually passing up Davey. I know that was Davey’s dream when he built a basketball court in his back yard.

Dreams of Davey walking his beautiful daughter, Eden, down the aisle.

It’s 6 years later and one of the hardest parts of surviving this tough, tough, journey is all of the dreams that have been snatched away.

All of the great times and fun with Davey that will never be.

We are so grateful for all of the awesome memories we have.

But will be no more new memories with him.

That’s a very painful reality to deal with.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

It’s the part we don’t hear splashed all over the national media.

Recently, I was sitting with a group of mothers whose sons were all policemen who had been killed by felons in the line duty last year.  This was one of the sessions during Police Week in Washington, DC.

Each mother told her story.

And it was very hard to listen.

So much pain.

So much grief.

So much loss.

Too many stories about how evil won the battle.

But…through several of the stories….the bright light of heroism shined through.

One son stepped in front of a gun in order to save the life of the innocent person behind him.  He literally took the bullet for a person he didn’t know.  He died.  The other person lived.

Another son drove his police car in front of a speeding vehicle to save the people in the car beside him.  The police car took the hit, killing the policeman.  But his act of heroism saved the lives of all of the innocent people in the car.

Have you heard these stories leading the way on all of our national media channels for several nights in a row going over the details again and again?

No?

I haven’t either.

We hear about the small minority of bad cop situations repeated over and over but we don’t hear any of the details of the daily stories of bravery and heroism of our police officers.

What does that tell us?  It means that the news is not telling us what’s really going on.  Reading the news doesn’t mean we’re well-informed.  The media tell us what they want to tell us.  They emphasize what they want to emphasize.  The more sensational the news is – especially about cops – the more viewers they get.  And sadly, people believe this unbalanced, one-sided source.

I have to say that our Phoenix local news channels really try to strike a balance and they do pretty well.  They get details wrong but they try to present a more well-rounded picture.

The national media doesn’t even try.   They’ve taken over for the tabloids with a bunch of sensationalized scandals with he-saids and she-saids.

The President gave an awesome speech to all of us at the National Peace Officers Memorial service on May 15  filled with encouraging statements of support for all Law Enforcement agencies and changes that are coming in order to reinforce respect and honor for those who work to support the law of our land.

Did we hear a significant part of that on the national news?  I didn’t.  It wasn’t there.  The scandals took up most of the news time on that day.

The truth is – a huge amount of bravery and heroism shown by our Police Officers doesn’t make it on the national news.

There’s also another reason why we don’t hear a lot of these stories of heroism.

If you talk to a police officer, they will say it was ‘just part of my job’.

Just part of the job –

sacrificing themselves

to save others.

There is so much more to this story.

#8144loveyou

We have planted a tree.  It’s right next to Davey’s spot in the Phoenix Memorial Park.  My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty last year.

I’m calling it Davey’s ‘Love you’ Tree.  It’s giving us just a little bit of shade now but that shade will grow over the months and years as we visit Davey’s spot.

We can stand in the shade of his tree as we remember all of the many great times we shared with him.

And we can stand there as we honor a hero who stood in the thin blue line between the evil ones and the innocent.  We honor a hero who died defending the freedoms that you and I take for granted.

The tree is alive…..

just like we are.

We’re still here for a reason and our job is to figure out what that is.  God has a unique purpose for each of us and it’s not completed yet.  That’s why we are still here.

Men and women like Davey serve and sacrifice every day to protect us and enable us to fulfill our purpose.  The price they pay is very high.

We need to make it count.

And, so, the David Glasser Foundation has been created.  There is much more to do.  There are many more people to love.

As we stand in the shade of Davey’s ‘Love You’ tree, let us each commit to being a positive part of turning the tide of negativity against law enforcement officers.  We are seeing glimpses of possibilities.  With the support we now have from Washington, we can do this.  What’s your part?

I have a favor to ask of you.

When you visit Davey’s spot, please tie a blue ribbon around a branch of his tree and say a prayer for my family.  Your prayers are helping.  And please tie a blue ribbon while you say a prayer for the families of all of our fallen officers – several of their spots are right around Davey’s.  And please tie a blue ribbon while you say a prayer for all of our Blue Family.

I was there on Friday to say some prayers and get the blue ribbons started.

If you don’t live in Phoenix or can’t get to his spot, you can pray and let me know in your comment – I’ll put a blue ribbon on his ‘Love you’ tree for you.

Every time we visit, we will see the blue ribbon evidence of your love and prayers.

And it will encourage us to keep moving forward.

#8144loveyou

Last year, one of the bright lights in my world was extinguished.  My son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

He was a bright light in your world, too, even if you never met him.

We may confuse you with End of Watch dates.  His official date is May 19th but those of us who were with him in the hospital know that he left us on May 18th.  Feel free to use whichever date works for you.

We’re grateful for the medicine and machines that preserved his body on May 18th so that we had some time to say goodbye.  They also made it possible for Davey to fulfill his final wish – he was able to donate multiple organs saving the lives of several more people even after his own death.  Because that’s what heroes do.

He was one of the good guys.  He cared about our community and he committed his life to defending all that is good and right in our world.  He was proud to be part of the thin blue line that stands between the evil ones and the innocent in our country.  He lived a life of integrity and honor while blending in fun and loving life in a unique way that only Davey could do.

His heart was big and open.  Some of you know that because he added you to his group of friends during your first conversation with him.  Others of us have known about his big heart for a long time because he loved us well his entire life.

Davey leaves a legacy of love.

He loved God.  He loved his wife and two small children.  He loved his immediate and extended family.   He loved his Blue Family.  He loved his friends.

He loved sports – all of them.  He was obsessed with the Cardinals and in love with the Diamondbacks as well as all ASU sports.

At Davey’s funeral, James Byrd shared the fact that Davey said ‘Love You’ to his squad members every time he left them.  That surprised me.  As his mom, I heard Davey telling us that he loved us all the time.  But I didn’t know he had extended this habit to work.

Davey not only told his squad members he loved them several times a day – he also insisted that the squad members say ‘Love you’ back to him.  AND he insisted that they say ‘Love you’ to each other before they left.

Davey knew.

He knew how close they all were to never seeing each other again.  He knew how quickly something could happen and he didn’t want anyone to ever question that he loved them.  He knew it was very important so he badgered his squad members to get into the habit as well.

Now we are all very happy that he did.

Because ‘Love you’ has lifted us up out of a place of deep, dark grief many times this last year.

‘Love you’ has challenged us to grow even more genuine in our relationships.  We care more deeply and our lives have become interwoven in a solid foundation of love and support.

‘Love you’ has reminded us that we are still here – our watch hasn’t ended yet.  There is work to be done.  Relationships to be built.  People to love.

“Love you’ has helped us survive the worst.  Our Father God has used these two words and all of the things that go with them to give us more faith and more strength and more courage than we had before.

And now we continue to figure out how to move forward, living out Davey’s legacy of love.

Because he would have wanted it that way.

#8144loveyou

A roller coaster ride.

Up one day –

down the next.

Feeling good one hour –

ready to go sit in a dark closet the next.

A smile on my face one minute –

and tears running down it the next.

So many memorials – all bittersweet.

It’s awesome to remember and honor Davey together with our Blue family.

But it also points a finger at the huge, gaping hole in our lives…

the hole we are trying to figure out how to live with.  The hole that will never be filled this side of heaven.

I don’t need any help remembering that hole.

And the roller coaster ride continues.

Such fun!  My grandson and Kristen got to fly up to the Grand Canyon in a helicopter with David Johnson to announce a Cardinals draft pick!

But – there was a tall person with a huge smile wearing his favorite Cardinals jersey missing in all of the pictures.

The Police Motorcycles were very impressive at the State Memorial – all lined up with their flashing lights and then roaring through the crowd at the beginning of the ceremony.

But – there was a voice missing in the crowd.  Davey would have had several clever remarks about the ‘Las Vegas family’ showing up which would have had all of us chuckling – all the while making sure we knew how proud he was of his brothers and sisters in Blue.

A large number of our extended family ran in the ‘Glasser Group’ at Pat’s Run.  Such a great cause!  Many of them also ran with my grandson in the kid’s run.

Because someone very important was missing.  Davey ran next to his son last year.

I was ‘strolling’ my granddaughter through the huge crowd at Pat’s Run, trying to find the ‘Glasser Group’.  I realized I was looking over the crowd because I could always find Davey – his head popped up out of every crowd.

But I couldn’t find him….

My grandson was called up on the mound at his baseball game to pitch.  That was an exciting moment – especially when his team has kids that are 2 years older on it.

And then my heart remembered another boy who loved to play baseball and he loved to pitch.  He really liked being in the middle of every play and he didn’t mind the pressure.  Davey chose basketball over baseball as he got older even though he was a very good baseball player.

We are getting ready to jump on a plane heading to Washington, DC. for Police Week.  Our immediate family has taken lots of trips together – all over the United States as well as London, Spain and Italy.  Davey loved to travel.  When he was 12 years-old, we were going to Hawaii for 2 weeks and he was jumping around the house the day before, asking if we could leave now.  I told him he was going to have to wait.  He said, “What if I just can’t wait?”  I smiled so he knew the answer and started jumping around some more.

Those of you who loved the Cardinals with Davey saw a glimpse of this 12 year-old boy on ‘Man Christmas’ – opening day of the NFL – and whenever you tailgated with him and sat by him at the games.

My grandson now carries on this legacy of jumping and dancing in a frenzy of anticipation when exciting things are going to happen.

That makes me happy…..and sad.

The roller coaster ride.

I know many of you are riding the ups and downs right beside us.  Thank you.  Love you!

We better strap in – it’s going to be a long ride.

#8144loveyou

#fallenbutnotforgotten

It’s been almost a year.

An extremely long year.

Some days felt like weeks….

there were months that felt like a year….

There was excruciating pain on Father’s Day as I tried to smile at my fatherless grand darlings.

I was reminded of a multitude of lost dreams on Davey’s birthday.

It was so hard to be thankful on Thanksgiving.

And….Christmas.  One of the very real things I learned this year is how glad I am that this is not my real home.  My real home doesn’t feel like this.

Now we are preparing to fly to Washington, DC for Police Week.

What is Police Week?

May 15 was proclaimed to be National Peace Officers Memorial Day by President Kennedy in 1962.  Whatever week May 15 falls in is National Police Week and this week has been set aside by Congress to pay special recognition to law enforcement officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty.

All of the names of the fallen officers are engraved onto the National Law Enforcement Memorial in Washington, DC.  This memorial now bears the names of 21,183 fallen heros.  This year 394 names will be added – 143 officers names from 2016 and 251 other officers who were killed earlier and are now being recognized.

143 names of officers who were killed in the line of duty last year.

143 families, friends and squads are coming who all just went through what my extended family went through – what we’re still going through.  Most of the others will be experiencing grief and shock and loss and emptiness that is even more new and more fresh than ours.

It’s a time for all of us to join together in honoring and recognizing the sacrifice of our fallen officers.   I am also told it’s a time of sharing and healing for those of us who are still here.

I’m counting on that – its been a very long year and this could be a very long trip.

Because of the support from our Phoenix Community and COPS and Southwest Airlines, a crowd of family, friends, squad members and wives are going.  I’ve heard from some of you – our Blue Family – that you are also coming.  That is awesome!

And I know there are many of you who would love to come but just can’t make that long, expensive trip.

The good news is that there are ways that you can participate and there are ways you can still honor Davey and any other Fallen Officer.

I’ll be posting that information on the Dave Glasser “Love You’ Campaign Facebook page soon.  If you’re not a member of that group, just ask to join and then you’ll get hooked in to all the information.

I know there is a large group of you who pray for us regularly.  Thank you- the prayers are helping.  God is our Rock as we make our way through this storm.

Please keep it up.  We need all the prayers we can get as we make this journey to Washington, DC.

I asked.

I begged.

I have never shared this with anyone before.  The night after Davey was shot I went down to the hospital chapel all by myself.  I walked up to the altar and laid facedown on the cold tile.   And I begged God for a miracle.

It was becoming increasingly obvious that Davey needed a miracle in order to stay alive.

So I begged.  I have no idea how long I laid there, pleading with God.

At this same time, my husband, Dave, was walking up and down the crowded hallway outside of Davey’s hospital room, asking everyone to pray for a miracle.

There were also three waiting rooms downstairs filled with people – many of them praying with us, asking for a miracle.

Every hospital hallway I walked down was filled with people – most of them praying with us, asking for a miracle.

In my mind, I see a huge hand reaching up out of the roof of the hospital, stretching up to heaven, asking our God who holds life and death in his hands to reach down and touch Davey.

We asked.

We begged.

Hours later we received our answer.

And the answer was no.

No more smiles and jokes from Davey.

No more fun and games with Davey.

No to watching my grandchildren grow up with their father’s arms around them.

No to watching Davey and Kristen grow old together.

So many no’s.

–

There’s a reason why we all listened to Hilary Scott sing “Thy Will” at Davey’s funeral.  Because we asked for a miracle for Davey and God said no.  He has a different plan than we do.

Every day I am reminded that God has a very different plan than mine.  Standing on the rock of God’s love and trusting that he has many great tomorrows waiting for me, I move forward……

– not knowing where this is going.

– not happy about the reality that I now live in.

– not understanding why you and I have to travel this path.

We go on, taking our broken hearts with us.  We listen and watch as God reveals his plan, one step at a time.

And we are gradually identifying some of those steps.  One of them is the David Glasser Foundation which started off with a bang last weekend partnering with PLEA in a fantastic golf tournament.   There were thousands of smiles and hundreds of hugs – a lot of love.  Davey’s foundation is all about spreading that love around in a very practical and tangible way to people who need to understand that our Police Officers are the good guys – they are part of the solution, not the problem.  The vision is to close the divide and build relationships between our community and law enforcement officers.

The foundation is going to create non-policing opportunities for our Blue Family to show how much we care about our communities and our city.  We all know we care – otherwise why would Police Officers do what they do?  Why would our blue families and friends support and sacrifice if we didn’t care?

We’re all going to have more opportunities to show our love in fun and important ways through the David Glasser foundation.

There is a lot of fun and love on the way………

Is that our miracle?

So much grief.

So many tears.

140 Police Officers were killed in the line of duty last year.

Multiply that number by the number of wives, children, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends, squad members and extended Blue Family members.

The number becomes huge.

And that was just for 2016.

So, multiply that number by –

2015 – 123 deaths.

2014 – 122 deaths.

2013 – 109 deaths.

2012 – 131 deaths.

2011 – 171 deaths.

2010 – 161 deaths…… and it continues.

As I researched these numbers, I found that they fluctuate depending on who is counting and some deaths are evaluated as ‘in the line of duty’ significantly after the fact so the numbers for each year change.  The fact remains – there are a lot.

So many officers killed.

So many people affected.

So much grief.

So many tears.

We saw the Fallen documentary this past Friday night and it reminded me of the first couple of weeks after Davey was killed.

The initial shock.

The mountain of pain.

The fog of grief.

Waking up every day hoping it wasn’t true.

It took a while for me to understand how many people were affected by Davey’s death.

At first, I didn’t realize that the whole Blue family grieves when one of their brothers or sisters is killed.  But experiencing the waves of grief that were rolling over the ocean of over 5000 Blue Family members at Davey’s funeral opened my eyes.  And we’ve continued to feel the love and care and support of our Blue Family throughout these last 11 months.  Thank you.

I also didn’t understand at first that there is a large part of the general public who also grieves when an officer is killed in the line of duty.

 There are a lot of people in our community who get it.

They understand that police officers put their lives on the line every day for people they don’t even know.  These people understand that police officers are taking bullets that are meant for the innocent – for them and their families.  This crowd knows that police officers are helping them live freely and safely in their neighborhoods.

We tend to forget about this large group of people because they aren’t rioting in the streets.  They aren’t looting and shooting and screaming profanities.

These people were lining the streets as Davey’s casket was escorted by our Blue Family from the church to the cemetery.  These were the people who were filling each overpass on the freeway, holding up flags and signs of love and encouragement.  People from this group were stopped all over the freeway and the sides of the freeway to show their respect for a fallen hero.

Some of these people were saluting as Davey’s limo went by – honoring Davey because they personally knew what it meant to put your life on the line for your country and community.

So many people.

So much grief.

So many tears.

The bullets that were shot on May 18th, 2016 created waves out into our city and across the nation.  Another hero has fallen.

The Fallen documentary ends with this phrase –

We Go On.

It’s a good phrase.

Because that’s what we’re doing …

Picking up the pieces.

Figuring out how to live with this hole in our hearts.

Forging a different future.

We Go On.

#8144loveyou

#fallenbutnotforgotten