Davey loved all sports.

You’ve probably heard all about his fanatic love for the Cardinals.  The NFL became his most-loved sport to watch as he grew into an adult.  I think the fun and party atmosphere of tailgating probably added to that attraction.

He loved people more than he loved sports.  It’s actually one of the reasons he loved sports – it always involved other people and teams.

Because he was a great team player.

He was aggressive and competitive.

He always wanted to play his best and he wanted his whole team to play their best so they could win.

He was consistently good so he was always a favorite of the coaches.  They could count on him to play a good game – every game.

He played baseball and basketball when he was younger but chose to focus on basketball when he got into Junior High School.  He went to basketball camps all summer long, every summer.  When he wasn’t at camp, he was at the park playing a pick up game with his buddies and whoever else would show up.  He had the opportunity to be on the same team as Richard Jefferson in high school.  I think it was a great eye-opener for him because he got to play with someone who actually had the potential to be a NBA player.  It helped him put his thoughts of becoming a pro basketball player into a more real perspective.

Being a great team player also helped him be a great Police Officer.  He was competent and responsible.  You could depend on him to do his part plus more.

Loyalty was HUGE to him.  If you knew him, you knew this about him.  He wasn’t quiet about it.

He wasn’t quiet about anything that was important to him.

His personality was an unusual blend of loving to have fun but needing to follow the rules.  And he added fun and energy to whatever he did.  He had a very quick wit – amazingly clever quips would come out of his mouth at just the right time to bring a big laugh from everyone around him.

Does anyone have a clever comment they heard Davey say that they want to share?

I am proud of the David Glasser Foundation as it begins to move forward, giving back to the Phoenix community which has been so great in their support of us and our Blue Family.

The foundation is also planning to honor Davey’s love of sports by developing sports camps and leagues in high risk areas of Phoenix with police officers as some of the coaches in order to help grow and develop healthy relationships.

Davey would have love that!

#8144loveyou

May 18, 2016 blew up my world – thrusting me into a dark, confusing, very sad place.  A place of grief.  A place I never wanted to go.

I have had other people very close to me die – my mother, father and older brother.

But this was not the same.  Not even close.

My son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police officer, was killed  in the line of duty.  And I can’t even explain how much worse it has been compared to other deaths in my family.

Yes, last year was a very tough year of ‘firsts’.

But now the pain of permanence has set in.  The reality of life long-term without Davey doesn’t seem possible.  Because, after a year, I know what that life feels like.

Now I know how empty his birthday feels without him.

I know what Christmas and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are like without Davey.

I know the heartbreak behind the smiles during the birthday parties of his children when a very happy and proud father is missing.

There are no words to describe how awful the permanence of this situation feels.  It’s impossible.  I believe strongly in the goodness of God…..but this doesn’t feel good.

In the months following May 18, 2016, I had no idea how my family and I would find our way back to our normal.  Now, as we start moving through our 2d year without Davey, I understand that we will never go back.

That time, that place is gone.

My life – our life – back there is gone.

So we have to move forward – a new life, a new reality, a new normal.  Without Davey.

Sometimes this new place is filled with sadness as the unending reality of the situation etches itself onto my soul.  Other times light shine through the darkness and possibilities peak around corners.

In some ways this year is going to be tougher than last year….

because its starting to feel very permanent.

In fact, you probably need to write several letters.

These letters are for the people you love most so they can have something tangible to hold and read and read again after you aren’t here anymore.

These letters might be full of things you have already told them.  Or you may be able to write some things that you’ve never been able to say or haven’t said in a long time.  There might be some specific encouragements that you want to share with them knowing that they are grieving your loss as they read this letter.

Our soldiers who are going off to war or being deployed to dangerous foreign countries have always been pretty good at doing this.  It’s a normal thing that they are encouraged and reminded to write letters before they leave.

It’s not so true for our brothers and sisters in Blue.  I guess it’s just a more obvious thing to do when you’re getting on a plane to Iraq than it is when you’re getting into your car to go to the precinct.

But the danger is just as real.  If we weren’t super-aware of the danger before, this last year has made the possibility of you never coming back a reality for a whole big crowd of us.

My son, Davey, a Phoenix Policeman who was killed in the line of duty last year,  didn’t leave any letters.  I wish he had.   I would have loved to have a final letter from him to hold…and read….and hold.  I have his last Mother’s Day card to me framed on my dresser.  It’s an awesome last message and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.

We know he loved us.  We know what he would say about a lot of things that have happened since his death.  But to have something tangible……knowing he knew we would be reading it if he didn’t come back one day.  That would have been very special.

So – Blue Family – we need to write some letters.  All of us.  Because none of us are promised tomorrow.

I have to admit –  I only recently started writing mine even though I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.  They aren’t easy to write – I used a lot of tissues and I’ve only got half of them written.  My goal is to get the rest safely tucked in our personal safe at home within the next two weeks.  So they’re ready for that time.  Whenever it comes.

If I stay on earth another 15 – 20 years I will probably write some more and add them to the pile.  I want those I love to have this last gift from me…

to read…

and hold…

and read again.

How about you?  Have you written your letters yet?

#8144loveyou

It all adds up.

Every hug.

Every prayer.

Every good wish.

Every ‘love you’.

Each one matters.

Because each one builds on the last one and becomes the strong foundation of love and care that my family has stood on through this last very difficult year filled with tough days since Davey was killed in the line of duty.

So many people have said to us,  “Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.”  Well, you’re doing it – with hugs, prayers, good wishes and ‘Love you’s”.

I am very encouraged by all the blue ribbons on Davey’s ‘Love You’ tree by his spot in the cemetery and I’m looking forward to watching the number of ribbons grow.  Those prayers are working.  Each blue ribbon matters.

I saw very clear evidence of the power of  faith, love and prayer when I talked with other mothers during Police Week in Washington, DC.  We had all lost sons in the line of duty in 2016 but our experiences were very different.   Some of it was the fact that several of them are still dealing with trials and extremely hard circumstances surrounding that.

But I credit the majority of the difference to two main things – our faith in the goodness of God and the huge amount of support we have received from family, friends, the Phoenix Police Department, the entire Phoenix community and our Blue Family.

Every hug, every prayer, every good wish, every blue ribbon, every ‘Love You’ – it has all added up to something very significant.

As a result, we haven’t experienced the bitterness I saw with many of the mothers in Washington, DC.

We haven’t experienced the extremely sad regrets that several of them expressed.

We avoided a lot of the family conflicts they were in the middle of.

We didn’t have the overwhelming need to blame someone.  We didn’t spend hours and hours checking out all of the details, second guessing the decisions that were made on the spot.

During the sessions in Washington, DC,  the members of my family were all split up in different groups that represented their relationship with the fallen officer.  And we all walked away with this same sense that our experience this last year has been different.

We’re not stuck on May 18, 2016.

We’re figuring out how to move forward, knowing that we have your support.  We are looking forward to all the possibilities of making a difference together with the David Glasser Foundation.

Every hug.

Every blue ribbon.

Every prayer.

Every good wish.

And every ‘love you’.

They have added up and made a big difference.

Thank you!  Keep it up!

Love you!

Davey loved life.  He loved a lot of things.

But the three most important things in his life were Kristen and his two children.  And that was very evident in how he lived his life.  They came first.  They were at the top of the list.  Everyday.

He had high expectations for his kids.  He cared about what they were learning and he cared about their behavior.  He was involved in every aspect of their lives.

When Davey’s son was around two, he went through a ‘Daddy’ phase where he only wanted to be with his dad.  Everywhere.  All the time.  They became a constant duo – we always saw them together.  This picture is at church on Father’s Day 4 years ago.

Davey took his son everywhere with him.  He used to spend quite a bit of time at Lowe’s – and so did his son.  Davey would also pick up my husband for these trip to Lowe’s so it became a normal Saturday thing to see all the Glasser Guys in Lowes doing whatever guys do there.

Davey had another favorite haunt that I didn’t know about until one day I was taking my little grandson to Wildflower and he pointed out ‘my daddy’s store’.  Right behind Wildflower is a Best Buy –  I wonder how much time they spent in there 🙂

My grand-daughter had to wear a ‘helmet’ when she was little to help reshape her skull.  Davey would always tell her how great she looked and how special she was.  It was a hot thing to wear and, toward the end, she didn’t want to put it on anymore.  The doctors said she should wear it for a couple of more weeks but Davey took it off.  He said she was beautiful just the way she was.

Davey loved all sports so he spent big chunks of time in his backyard playing catch with his son.  There was a lot of batting practice.  You would be surprised at how well his six year-old son can hit.  Davey also put up a basketball hoop in his backyard that adjusted way down to his small son’s height.  It has a light on it was that basketball practice was also always going on.  You can see in the picture, even when we bought a little $3 plastic golf set – golf lessons started.  

Davey dreamed about his daughter playing softball and volleyball.  I’m sure she will – she already enjoys playing catch.

But he won’t be there to coach her.

And that is what makes Father’s Day such a tough day.  The loss of a truly great dad.  All of the love.  All of the fun.

The hole in our lives is huge and painful today.

It’s been over 6 years since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer was killed in the line of duty.

And we have great memories of our lives with him.  We laughed, we played and we travelled.  We watched Davey play a lot of sports and we went to many games of all kinds in all different cities with him.

So many memories that bring big smiles to our faces.

But all of our dreams for the future with Davey have been snatched away.

Dreams of Davey coaching his son and daughter in baseball, basketball, volleyball and every other sport there is.

Dreams of Davey retiring from the police force and figuring out what he was going to do next.

Dreams of Davey and his, wife, Kristen, growing old together.  They were married young so we talked about them the possibility of them celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary.

Dreams of Davey and his son, Micah, playing a mean game of one-on-one basketball as Micah grew taller and taller, eventually passing up Davey. I know that was Davey’s dream when he built a basketball court in his back yard.

Dreams of Davey walking his beautiful daughter, Eden, down the aisle.

It’s 6 years later and one of the hardest parts of surviving this tough, tough, journey is all of the dreams that have been snatched away.

All of the great times and fun with Davey that will never be.

We are so grateful for all of the awesome memories we have.

But will be no more new memories with him.

That’s a very painful reality to deal with.

Miss you, Davey.

Love you.

It’s the part we don’t hear splashed all over the national media.

Recently, I was sitting with a group of mothers whose sons were all policemen who had been killed by felons in the line duty last year.  This was one of the sessions during Police Week in Washington, DC.

Each mother told her story.

And it was very hard to listen.

So much pain.

So much grief.

So much loss.

Too many stories about how evil won the battle.

But…through several of the stories….the bright light of heroism shined through.

One son stepped in front of a gun in order to save the life of the innocent person behind him.  He literally took the bullet for a person he didn’t know.  He died.  The other person lived.

Another son drove his police car in front of a speeding vehicle to save the people in the car beside him.  The police car took the hit, killing the policeman.  But his act of heroism saved the lives of all of the innocent people in the car.

Have you heard these stories leading the way on all of our national media channels for several nights in a row going over the details again and again?

No?

I haven’t either.

We hear about the small minority of bad cop situations repeated over and over but we don’t hear any of the details of the daily stories of bravery and heroism of our police officers.

What does that tell us?  It means that the news is not telling us what’s really going on.  Reading the news doesn’t mean we’re well-informed.  The media tell us what they want to tell us.  They emphasize what they want to emphasize.  The more sensational the news is – especially about cops – the more viewers they get.  And sadly, people believe this unbalanced, one-sided source.

I have to say that our Phoenix local news channels really try to strike a balance and they do pretty well.  They get details wrong but they try to present a more well-rounded picture.

The national media doesn’t even try.   They’ve taken over for the tabloids with a bunch of sensationalized scandals with he-saids and she-saids.

The President gave an awesome speech to all of us at the National Peace Officers Memorial service on May 15  filled with encouraging statements of support for all Law Enforcement agencies and changes that are coming in order to reinforce respect and honor for those who work to support the law of our land.

Did we hear a significant part of that on the national news?  I didn’t.  It wasn’t there.  The scandals took up most of the news time on that day.

The truth is – a huge amount of bravery and heroism shown by our Police Officers doesn’t make it on the national news.

There’s also another reason why we don’t hear a lot of these stories of heroism.

If you talk to a police officer, they will say it was ‘just part of my job’.

Just part of the job –

sacrificing themselves

to save others.

There is so much more to this story.

#8144loveyou

We have planted a tree.  It’s right next to Davey’s spot in the Phoenix Memorial Park.  My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police Officer who was killed in the line of duty last year.

I’m calling it Davey’s ‘Love you’ Tree.  It’s giving us just a little bit of shade now but that shade will grow over the months and years as we visit Davey’s spot.

We can stand in the shade of his tree as we remember all of the many great times we shared with him.

And we can stand there as we honor a hero who stood in the thin blue line between the evil ones and the innocent.  We honor a hero who died defending the freedoms that you and I take for granted.

The tree is alive…..

just like we are.

We’re still here for a reason and our job is to figure out what that is.  God has a unique purpose for each of us and it’s not completed yet.  That’s why we are still here.

Men and women like Davey serve and sacrifice every day to protect us and enable us to fulfill our purpose.  The price they pay is very high.

We need to make it count.

And, so, the David Glasser Foundation has been created.  There is much more to do.  There are many more people to love.

As we stand in the shade of Davey’s ‘Love You’ tree, let us each commit to being a positive part of turning the tide of negativity against law enforcement officers.  We are seeing glimpses of possibilities.  With the support we now have from Washington, we can do this.  What’s your part?

I have a favor to ask of you.

When you visit Davey’s spot, please tie a blue ribbon around a branch of his tree and say a prayer for my family.  Your prayers are helping.  And please tie a blue ribbon while you say a prayer for the families of all of our fallen officers – several of their spots are right around Davey’s.  And please tie a blue ribbon while you say a prayer for all of our Blue Family.

I was there on Friday to say some prayers and get the blue ribbons started.

If you don’t live in Phoenix or can’t get to his spot, you can pray and let me know in your comment – I’ll put a blue ribbon on his ‘Love you’ tree for you.

Every time we visit, we will see the blue ribbon evidence of your love and prayers.

And it will encourage us to keep moving forward.

#8144loveyou

Last year, one of the bright lights in my world was extinguished.  My son, David Glasser, a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty on May 19, 2016.

He was a bright light in your world, too, even if you never met him.

We may confuse you with End of Watch dates.  His official date is May 19th but those of us who were with him in the hospital know that he left us on May 18th.  Feel free to use whichever date works for you.

We’re grateful for the medicine and machines that preserved his body on May 18th so that we had some time to say goodbye.  They also made it possible for Davey to fulfill his final wish – he was able to donate multiple organs saving the lives of several more people even after his own death.  Because that’s what heroes do.

He was one of the good guys.  He cared about our community and he committed his life to defending all that is good and right in our world.  He was proud to be part of the thin blue line that stands between the evil ones and the innocent in our country.  He lived a life of integrity and honor while blending in fun and loving life in a unique way that only Davey could do.

His heart was big and open.  Some of you know that because he added you to his group of friends during your first conversation with him.  Others of us have known about his big heart for a long time because he loved us well his entire life.

Davey leaves a legacy of love.

He loved God.  He loved his wife and two small children.  He loved his immediate and extended family.   He loved his Blue Family.  He loved his friends.

He loved sports – all of them.  He was obsessed with the Cardinals and in love with the Diamondbacks as well as all ASU sports.

At Davey’s funeral, James Byrd shared the fact that Davey said ‘Love You’ to his squad members every time he left them.  That surprised me.  As his mom, I heard Davey telling us that he loved us all the time.  But I didn’t know he had extended this habit to work.

Davey not only told his squad members he loved them several times a day – he also insisted that the squad members say ‘Love you’ back to him.  AND he insisted that they say ‘Love you’ to each other before they left.

Davey knew.

He knew how close they all were to never seeing each other again.  He knew how quickly something could happen and he didn’t want anyone to ever question that he loved them.  He knew it was very important so he badgered his squad members to get into the habit as well.

Now we are all very happy that he did.

Because ‘Love you’ has lifted us up out of a place of deep, dark grief many times this last year.

‘Love you’ has challenged us to grow even more genuine in our relationships.  We care more deeply and our lives have become interwoven in a solid foundation of love and support.

‘Love you’ has reminded us that we are still here – our watch hasn’t ended yet.  There is work to be done.  Relationships to be built.  People to love.

“Love you’ has helped us survive the worst.  Our Father God has used these two words and all of the things that go with them to give us more faith and more strength and more courage than we had before.

And now we continue to figure out how to move forward, living out Davey’s legacy of love.

Because he would have wanted it that way.

#8144loveyou